Set a Pretty Table

We gather 'round this table, where bodies are renewed.

Where hearts appease their hunger, for we feast on more than food.

~ author unknown

To set a pretty table is to bring rhythm, beauty, warmth and our love to the moment.

When we slow down, simplify and connect our thinking with the feelings in our heart, it's easier for our actions to reflect our intent. To set a pretty table is to connect our intention of deeply nourishing our family with warmth and love with our attention to how we set the table. 

Each day we have the opportunity to set a pretty table, and do it with love. When we do, our family experiences the gesture and the feeling behind it, and finds nourishment of the body and soul at the table

It doesn't take much to set a pretty table. A cloth or placemats provides a base. The one you see has served as a beach picnic cloth, a table cloth and a ceiling decoration. Pretty, simple dishes can be found at a thrift store. The white plates in the photo above are Syracuse china, made for restaurants, solid and durable, yet simple and lovely. They are oval shaped so there's plenty of room for the child who doesn't want their foods to touch, or for the adult who likes their salad to mix in with the juices of the main dish. 

Cloth napkins are inexpensive and will last for years to come. I have many from the early childhood years, a little faded yet still good to use. Something from nature, like a crystal, a pretty stone or some flowers brings warmth and beauty. The sea shells on the table in the picture we found at the beach. The flowers are from my garden. The children love to be the ones to go outside and select flowers for the table. 

The little glasses are small canning jars. They're solid and hefty enough that they don't tip easily and children can really hold on to them. I used them with my children and with the children in my Morning Garden program. They're durable, just the right size and easy to stack and manage. 

Of course, there's a beeswax candle with its heavenly life giving smell and reminder that we're all in this together. That might be considered the splurge, one well worth splurging. 

The next time you feel rushed and in a hurry, take a deep breath and remember what my friend and former boss Haim at Café Liliane used to remind us, the staff, as we prepared food. "We eat with our eyes," he'd say. We are nourished by all our senses, what we see, smell, taste and feel on the table. We are also nourished by the sensation of warmth and love we experience when someone sets a pretty table for us. 

Wishing you and your loved ones pretty tables set with warmth and love!

~ if you are the author of the mealtime verse, or know who is, please let me know so I can give proper credit.  

Warmly,

Keepers of Tradition

As mothers, we are keepers of the hearth, we set the mood and the tone for our household, so as it is within us, so without.

If we are confused and feeling turmoil within, it will spill into our day and our child's behavior, directly or indirectly.

When we are clear and feel confident, it comes across.

In doing our inner work, our striving, we can awaken to inner rhythm and bring some form and habits to our home lives.

It begins within. Within each one of us. And it is there. And it takes strengthening the will.

And that is the paradox of mothering, for we are supporting the development of our child(ren)'s will and in doing so we work on our own will forces to be able to do that. 

Celebrations and holidays give us the chance to create rituals and traditions that come around once a year. They needn’t be big or elaborate to be meaningful.

As we approach the end of the Christmas season, this feels like a ripe time to reflect on the past six weeks. 

Take some time this week to think about when it comes to the holidays and celebrations,  what is it that really matters, for you, what is it that you want the holidays to mean for your child(ren)?

What went well, what do you want to do again next year? Is there something you want to build on? Are there things you want to let go of? Jot down what comes to mind. 

In the Waldorf kindergarten teachers build up festivals over the years - many years! Within those years they have the opportunity to observe other teachers' ways. As homemakers we are finding our way one step at a time. Let's give ourselves a great big hug for all that we did accomplish this year to make the holidays merry and good, and let us carry into the future acceptance of our striving as good enough, and recognition that life is a process that is ongoing for us as well as our children. 

Warmly,

The Gift of Light

Festivals are celebrated with song, food, stories and a "picture" of the event being celebrated. One way to celebrate Advent is with verses to say upon lighting a candle. This is one of my favorites. It could be said while passing a candle from one to another. I don't know the origin of this verse. I think it is from a language other than English. The version below I have adapted in a way that resonates for me. 
 ::

::

The gift of light we thankfully take.

Yet it shall not be alone for our sake.

The more we give light,

The one to the other,

The more it shines and spreads even farther.

Until every spark set aflame,

Touches hearts with joy to proclaim.

In the depths of our souls a shining sun glows.

Not long shall continue the darkness of the year,

As light draws near. 

This months eCourse is Simple, Slow and Sacred. 

Registration is closed.

The First Light of Advent

::

We're having a slow start to Advent this year, taking our time to shift out of Thanksgiving mode. 

Most people celebrate Advent by beginning on the fourth Sunday before Christmas. I believe that is what the churches do so that church going people have four Sundays to celebrate. Others begin on the first of December with Advent calendars that have 24 doors. I like to begin on the fourth Sunday, but it tends to feel like we're still in Thanksgiving mood. 

~ I don't know who created this image and text, if you do please let me know so I can credit them. 

Happy Mother's Day!

Breakfast in Bed by Mary Cassatt

Mamas, we all strive and struggle and want to create conditions for our children to have the very best childhood.

I want to remind you today, to remind yourself everyday, they do. They have you. And each day is a new day with something simple to celebrate. It’s already there. Ease up on yourself. (I include myself here.) It is not about the decorations or crafts. It is about what lives in your heart.

Take your child in your arms or on your lap, have a good snuggle or rocking time. Just be present. Be there with yourself, and your child. Play a lap game or a finger play. Tell a story from your childhood, something simple that you remember.

This really is the foundation of rhythm. Of being present in the moment. Of simplifying the activities in the day so that we (me included) can just be here in the moment.

::

Celebrate the Rhythm of Life Harmonious Rhythms :: Soulful Parenting with the 3C's : Consciousness, Connection, Creativity

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The Sun Stands Still

The rhythm of life is a living wheel. It's one that is always in motion. That's part of what makes it challenging, it is always in motion, on the move, like the Wheel of the Year, always turning. 

Right now, this day, we are at the point in the wheel of the winter solstice. It feels a little bit like its name's Latin roots: "solstice," "sol" for sun and "stice" for "standing still." We are in the time of standing still. 

Yet we're still in motion, it's just become very subtle. We cannot make it stop. We have to go along with the flow of time. Yet we can take a breath and feel the energy of this time. We can be present in this moment, right now, and feel the world slow down, and just be what it is, in this moment. 

Imagine, in your mind, this wheel turning through day and night, through winter, spring, summer and autumn. It keeps on turning. We are here in this moment of stand still energy. 

For now, for today and the next few days of this "sun standing still energy," take time to notice the stillness. Make time to notice the sun. Watch the sky as the sun sets, notice the sky in the morning as the sun rises in this moment of stillness, notice how far south it is on the horizon, this is is southernmost point before it begins it's journey back to the north, back to us. 

Rhythm and Routine: We Can't Have One without the Other

Rhythm and Routine

~ a series of articles to support rhythm in the home

#3

A few thoughts on rhythm and routine, and how one needs the other.

Rhythm is simply routine with recurring movement based on conscious awareness of the energy of the activity, the day, the household. 

That may sound odd. 

Try this ~ think of  rhythm in music, rhythm is the placement of sounds in time, in a regular and repeated pattern. The activities of our day have each have a quality ~ a sound, some may be rousing, some may be soothing or settling. The key to creating healthy family rhythms is to be aware of what type of energy is needed at what time of day, and in what order. 

For example at the end of the day, there's dinner, bath and bed. That's the routine - to have dinner, bath and bed, in that order. The rhythm is creating the mood around each of those activities, setting the pace and holding the course, keeping the routine flowing as if we were banks of the river providing the boundary for the flow of water. After dinner we may turn the lights down, and create a feeling of quiet in the home as the child transitions from dinner to bath, with clearing the table, washing the dishes, some quiet play, and preparations for the next day, such as setting out of clothes for the next day and organizing lunches if the child is going to be away from home at lunchtime. 

Routines are associated with time. Whenever time is connected to a word, think routine, as in breakfast time, playtime, story time, lunchtime, rest time, teatime, dinnertime, bath time and bedtime. To create a healthy rhythm, we can think about what we do leading up to these times and how we transition into the next one. We also observe the child, consider the family's needs and tweak as needed, always aiming for consistency as much as possible. 

Routine is doing something over and over again in the same way, in the same order - there's repetition.  Routine helps us remember and put things in order. Good routines involve a series of steps that help us create good habits. For example, a routine upon entering the house might be to take off our boots, put the boots or shoes on the mat, remove our jacket and hang it on a hook. Then we go into the bath room to wash hands, and use the toilet if needed or change the diaper of a little one. That's a routine. It's also a way of teaching a child through our example of how to take care of themselves, their clothing and the environment. It also gives the child a feeling of security to do the familiar as well as a sense of competence. 

First step _ remove boots

Second step ~ place boots on mat

Third step ~ remove jacker

Fourth step ~ hand jacket on hook

Fifth step ~ wash hands and use toilet/change diaper if needed

To create a healthy family rhythm, we need to look at the child's needs, and organize our child's day so that those needs are met, the practical needs of setting out clothing and preparing for the next day as well as the energetic needs of  quieting down the environment before bed, to help the child relax towards bedtime. 

What quality of activity does the child need at a particular time of day? That depends on the child's age. Young children all needs plenty of time for movement and free play both indoors and out. They also need a time to draw inward and unwind or digest their more rambunctious or stimulating experiences. Does the child need to go outside and run and jump and roll around? Does the child need to settle in close for a story and some snuggle time? What does the child's age and developmental need call for? Does an activity bring us inward to a quiet place or does it have an expansive quality?

To create a good rhythm means to bring conscious awareness to the energetic qualities of the child's activities of daily, weekly and seasonal life, and set them up to meet the child's needs - as well as to create repetitive experiences that unfold in the same familiar way every day. Rhythm and Routine work together.

Conscious Intention and Conscious Attention
Now we return to where we started, that rhythm is all about the conscious intention and conscious attention given to balancing the energetic quality of activities (rousing-calming, inner-outer, challenging-soothing, quiet-loud) and transition moments that infuses routines with rhythm. We implement a new step with intention and bring our conscious attention to the moment to help make it happen. We are the change makers. 

This may sound so simple, and it is, one step at a time. Implement one small change and repeat until it comes easily. Then try another. One step at a time. It takes time to build up strong healthy rhythms. 

Read Article #1 Routine in the Waldorf Home:: What is it?  here
Read Article #2 Why Routines?  here
Read Article #4
Read Article #5 When Rhythm + Routine Work Together  here
Read Article #6 The Secret Sauce with Rhythm  here


Earlier Articles on Rhythm
Rhythm here
Rhythm ~ Waldorf Style here

Peace on Earth begins at Home. 

When Our Mothering is Questioned

Mary Cassatt ~ Young Mother Sewing

One of the great challenges of mothering and perhaps fathering too, forgive me dads - as I don't know about the experience of being a dad as my experience is as a mom - is that family members may question, criticize or even attempt to "correct" the choices we carefully and consciously make on how we want to parent our children. 

For families who are drawn to a Waldorf lifestyle, there may be concern that we're not doing enough "academic" work or instructed "teaching" in the early years, that we're not teaching the ABCs and giving scientific explanations of why the sky is blue, that we're not teaching reading and we're not emphasizing the printed word. 

We may be criticized for making the commitment to stay home and care for our child  rather than send him or her to "school" at age three, which unfortunately, outside of Waldorf environments, tends to be an intellectual cram down of what the child is most ready for at a ripe age six or seven, but not at age three. Not to mention the lack of time during "school" for all important physical movement and exploration and child initiated free play, which is the foundation of healthy intellectual development that will come later. 

Even in Waldorf environments, being awoken early, dressed and rushed out the door may not necessarily be in the best interest of the child or family life. Then there's the question of peer orientation, the huge, often unspoken problem we face today when children become socially oriented to peers, who are by their nature immature, rather than remain healthily oriented to their parents and family values. 

It saddens me to see the cultural shift that has taken place in my lifetime, in which moms, home and family life have been devalued in the name of convenience for employers who value employee attendance over the importance of family and a healthy home life as the foundation of a healthy society. It's tough as a new mom, a mom of littles to follow one's heart and inner knowing and trust ourselves in the face of these challenges from outside. It's even harder when close family members question what we do.  

I found myself in a similar place with family members when my children were young. The focus seemed to be all about what I did NOT do instead of what we did do. I didn't read to my children when they were very young. I didn't go into scientific explanations of things. My mom was surprised because we are a family of avid readers. I shared some information with my mom and my husband. (Husband was a lawyer and that just gave him more ammo to argue about it.) What really made a difference for us, and it took me a long time to figure it out was to focus on what we DID do. I shifted the focus to what we did do everyday.

As women, we tend to underestimate ALL that we do during the course of a day, and all the ways we are teaching through our doing, how we nurture literacy through speech and movement games and through the way we speak to our children. I incorporated nursery rhymes from birth with our daily activities like diaper changes and getting dressed. We set a pretty table together and sang a blessing. (We still do.) I told little stories about daily household events. I made simple finger puppets. I made simple felt animals and people figures. I cleared out the space alongside the kitchen where they could play close to me while I worked. We baked bread together, we made soup together, we did laundry together. My children were with me or playing close by in the kitchen for what seemed like all day. We spent lots of time outside, usually with me doing chores and the children playing or joining in the work (letting the chickens out, feeding them, hanging laundry. raking leaves, shoveling.) We painted together. We made gifts together. 

As my children got older and family members saw how family oriented they were, how well they played, how they made beautiful cards and simple gifts and crafts, how they loved being outdoors and in nature, building snowmen, sledding, tobogganing, ice skating, having a sense of reverence, I think it brought to mind fond memories of aspects of their own childhoods.  I quit talking about Waldorf ed to them (it was hard) - that made a huge difference. If I didn't talk about it as "Waldorf," and didn't give it a name, but just emphasized that I wanted my children to experience the wonder of childhood and be able to really play and spend time outside and later play jump rope and knit and whittle, they seemed to be less concerned about it. Now my youngest is in his teens, and all of that questioning has been forgotten as they are indeed kind, literate, hardworking, creative and capable people. So dear mamas, my suggestion is to bring the conversation back to you, to all that you do in a day, all those things that seem most ordinary, that deeply nurturing the healthy development of your child.  

        
                                                   Peace on Earth begins at Home. 

Inner Work

Our days can be quite full of tasks. 

They're filled with caring for children, pets and the home, planning, preparing and serving wholesome meals, cleaning up afterwards, maintaining healthy rhythms and routines, ensuring time and space for free play and getting outside in the fresh air and being the chief cook, bottle washer, organizer and overseer of family life.

In addition, some of us work from home or have jobs outside of the home, and garden or farm.

Some of us are homeschoolers too. As homeschoolers we add to the daily tasks of preparing and presenting lessons. This is an even bigger task for a single parent, or a family in crisis. It’s big my friends, and full of opportunities for transformation and growth.

Each of us is our child's first teacher. We teach our child what it means to be human in this world through our own life, our words and gestures and deeds.

What does this have to do with inner work?
Our most important task as parents and educators is described in a quote I share in the description of my program, Celebrate the Rhythm of Life eGuides and eCourse ~ living curriculum. It’s from Rudolf Steiner and it is so meaningful in the context of inner work that I’ll share it here:

“Essentially, there is no education other than self- education, whatever the level may be. This is recognized in its full depth within Anthroposophy, which has conscious knowledge through spiritual investigation of repeated Earth lives. Every education is self-education, and as teachers we can only provide the environment for children’s self-education. We have to provide the most favorable conditions where, through our agency, children can educate themselves according to their own destinies. This is the attitude that teachers should have toward children, and such an attitude can be developed only through an ever- growing awareness of this fact.”

This “self-education” that Rudolf Steiner describes is not a memorization of dates or facts. He is talking about working on our self, on getting to who we are and what makes us tick.

Inner work is about getting to know ourselves, and through that process we are better able to see and get to know our children.

When we observe our children through our own pain and wounds, without knowing they are there, we tend to project our needs on to them. In getting to know ourselves, we can better recognize what’s our “stuff” from the past and who our child is, as separate from us, as the other. Inner work helps us come to a place of being present, so we are able to respond rather than react to our children, and whatever life throws at us.

Through this process of inner work, and with it comes inner growth, we are better able to meet our children and guide them along.

You may have thought that Waldorf education was about the material in the curriculum, yet it is about so much more. So many parents come to Waldorf education for the beauty and simplicity, and find themselves growing and stretching, getting to know themselves better, and feeling more clear, confident and connected to what they value most. Sometimes it comes as a surprise. I often hear, "I didn't expect it to change my life." Yet is does, if we are open to it.

It is through inner work, the ongoing and sometimes subtle and not so subtle work of getting to know ourselves and embracing the muck in our lives that transformation occurs. In becoming more clear about who we are, and what we are doing in this wild and precious life of ours, we become more present and more able to easily make decisions that resonate with our deepest and most heartfelt values. We open to creativity and often find answers coming to us, seemingly from out of blue, but really from our deep longing for getting to know ourself and our truth.

It’s exciting, no? To be spurred on with our own growth as human beings. Who would have thought that parenting brings so many hidden gifts.

Celebrate the Rhythm of Life 

Harmonious Rhythms ::   Soulful Parenting with the 3C's : Consciousness, Connection, Creativity
Waldorf Homeschooling + Homemaking

         Peace on Earth begins at Home. 

True Reading Readiness

These guidelines by Dr. Susan Johnson are intended to help parents, caregivers and early childhood educators notice movement integration and development in the young child.

True reading readiness (as opposed to forced reading “readiness”) is a biological phenomenon* and requires that a child has passed a number of benchmarks of sensor-motor integration – which is an aspect of healthy brain development.  Many of these benchmarks have been passed when a child is able to do the following:

• Pay attention and sit still in a chair for at least 20 minutes
• Balance on one foot, without her knees touching, and in stillness, with both arms out to her sides – and count backwards without losing her balance
• Stand on one foot, with arms out in front of him, palms facing up, with both eyes closed for 10 seconds without falling over
• Reproduce various geometric shapes, numbers, or letters onto a piece of paper with a pencil while someone else traces these shapes, letters or numbers on her back
• Walk on a balance beam
• Jump rope by self
• Skip

If children can’t do these tasks easily, their vestibular and proprioceptive (sensory-motor) neural systems are not yet well-integrated, and chances are they will have difficulty sitting still, listening, focusing their eyes, focusing their attention, and remembering letters and numbers in the classroom.

Support for sensory-motor integration comes not from flash cards or video games…but from the following activities:

Physical movements such as

• Skipping                                          • Running
• Hopping                                          • Walking and hiking
• Rolling down hills                         • Clapping games
• Playing catch with a ball              • Circle games
• Jumping rope                                 • Climbing in nature

…as well as fine motor activities to strengthen important motor pathways, such as

• Cutting with scissors                     • Beading
• Digging in the garden                    • Drawing
• Kneading dough                             • String games
• Pulling weeds                                  • Sewing
• Painting                                            • Finger knitting

By contrast, watching television or playing video or computer games are extremely poor sources of stimulation for sensory-motor development and actually interfere with the healthy integration of the young nervous system by keeping the child’s nervous system in a state of stress.  The “flight or fight” system is activated and maintained.

Children who have difficulties reading and writing often also have

• a poorly developed sense of balance
• difficulty making eye contact
• difficulty tracking or following with their eyes
• trouble distinguishing the right side of their body from the left
• difficulty sitting still in a chair
• difficulty locating their body in space
• poor muscle tone exemplified by a slumped posture
• a tense or fisted pencil grip
• “flat feet” (collapsed arches)
• oversensitivity to touch
• overactive sympathetic nervous system (“flight or fight”), thus have extra sensitivity to the stimulant effects of sugar, chocolate, lack of sleep, changes in routines, watching television, playing computer or video games.

Sometimes these children have difficulties in their peer relationships because they are using their mind and eyes to help their bodies navigate in space, and miss the non-verbal social cues from their playmates.

Dr. Johnson has seen children diagnosed with AD/HD or learning disabilities “miraculously” improve when they are taken out of an “academic” kindergarten or given an extra year in a developmental kindergarten that emphasizes movement, play, and the integration of their sensory-motor systems.

*On reading readiness as a biologically-based development: we would never label a child with a “disability” if they were slow to lose their first tooth, or begin menstruation…and reading is similarly linked to a child’s unfolding biology.  Relax!

Copyright Susan Johnson, M. D.  All rights reserved.  Reprinted with permission.  For more about Susan R. Johnson, MD, FAAP, and her practice in Colfax, California, go to You and Your Child’s Health.

         Peace on Earth begins at Home. 

My Mom

My Mom ~ Veronica Ruby Vassar Boisvert

I want to let you know that I've been quiet here and on social media for a few weeks because I lost my mom two weeks ago today.

On Monday morning of June 17th, she went in to see her regular doctor for a check up. Her doctor sent her straight to the ER for testing, she was kept for observation and admitted a few days later. The plan was for her to go to rehab for two weeks and then return home. A few days before she died the conversation shifted from rehab to hospice care. She spent two and a half weeks in the hospital.

I stayed with her around the clock during her last days, and had time alone with her. She passed over peacefully surround by us: her immediate family, which consists of me, my brother and my dad as well as extended family members.

Even though my mom was 89 years old, I wasn't anticipating the end of her life. Her mind was sharp and her cheeks were rosy with vitality until the very end.

I miss her madly. She's the one I'd go to in a time like this.

Squeeze your loved ones a little tighter today.

Warmly,
Lisa

         

                                                        Peace on Earth begins at Home. 

Old Fashioned Ways with New Fashioned Consciousness

Waldorf education is known for its festival celebrations that take place throughout the year and  return again the following year to be revisited and celebrated once more. The very foundation of the kindergarten and nursery is the festival life that is born out of the rhythm of the year.

Throughout history, human beings have created rituals and celebrations around light and dark, sowing and reaping, birth and death. This is an ancient way of finding meaning in the world and connecting with others.

Mother Nature along with the seasonal cycle of the year provide the foundation for festival life with the turning wheel of the year, from light to darkness, from sowing to reaping to composting back into the earth, birth and death takes place over and over again. The wheel turns, the light returns. A good deal to celebrate.

Festival life provides the cadence for the school year. Some festivals, as well as certain aspects of festivals, are celebrated in specific grades grades or classes, some by the entire school body, some include parents, and some are open to the broader community. It depends on the teacher, the school, the circumstances and the community. 

For many of us, especially those of us who find ourselves with leanings towards Waldorf education, either as parents or as homeschoolers, or perhaps both, a school festival can be the first experience of Waldorf education in practice.

Yet many of us wonder about these mysterious festivals.

Rudolf Steiner, the founder of Waldorf education, biodynamic agriculture, anthroposophical medicine,  a new style of architecture, social reformer and much, much more, wrote and lectured on the rhythm of the year and the cycle of festivals through the year. His focus was on the four major events of the year, each of which takes place at or near the turning points of the year, that is Michaelmas, Christmas, Easter and Midsummer.

Before the advent of electricity and machines, people lived in harmony with the changes in the year, out of necessity. With the coming of autumn came preparations for the cold days to come. Food was preserved and stored. Wood stacked. Fires were lit to bring warmth and light to the night as dark came sooner during the harvest days of September. Neighbors and villagers came together to help one one bring in the hay, harvest the apples and the nuts, preserve the vegetables and fruits. These activities were not based on choice or lifestyle, they were necessities for survival. They were social events out of necessity.

Today many of the old ways are returning and to them we are bringing a new found conscious awareness to the celebration of festivals. No longer are most of us forced to bring in the hay or harvest the vegetables before the first frost in order to save the crops. We are free to work the land or not. We are free to help our neighbor or not. We are free to buy our groceries grown and produced miles away or to buy from our neighbor farmer or regional farmers who tend the land and animals in a manner that resonates with our world view and values.

Some old fashioned ways imbued with new fashioned consciousness.

Actions taken as a free choice.

This poster was produced and distributed by the US Food Administration at the turn of the  century during war time. Many of these "old fashioned" ways encouraged during war time have become conscious choices today.

Instead of doing it "because it has always been done this way," we are bringing new awareness to our actions, a deeper understanding of why our connection to the natural world and simple living matters.

Festivals offer us an opportunity to find inner meaning on the changes taking place in the outer world. The celebration of festivals gives us a chance to pause and take stock of our lives, in the moment and with reflection of years passed, they give us perspective on what it means to be human and to be alive. In a conscious and living way.



                                                     Peace on Earth begins at Home.