Rhythm and Routine: We Can't Have One without the Other

Rhythm and Routine

~ a series of articles to support rhythm in the home

#3

A few thoughts on rhythm and routine, and how one needs the other.

Rhythm is simply routine with recurring movement based on conscious awareness of the energy of the activity, the day, the household. 

That may sound odd. 

Try this ~ think of  rhythm in music, rhythm is the placement of sounds in time, in a regular and repeated pattern. The activities of our day have each have a quality ~ a sound, some may be rousing, some may be soothing or settling. The key to creating healthy family rhythms is to be aware of what type of energy is needed at what time of day, and in what order. 

For example at the end of the day, there's dinner, bath and bed. That's the routine - to have dinner, bath and bed, in that order. The rhythm is creating the mood around each of those activities, setting the pace and holding the course, keeping the routine flowing as if we were banks of the river providing the boundary for the flow of water. After dinner we may turn the lights down, and create a feeling of quiet in the home as the child transitions from dinner to bath, with clearing the table, washing the dishes, some quiet play, and preparations for the next day, such as setting out of clothes for the next day and organizing lunches if the child is going to be away from home at lunchtime. 

Routines are associated with time. Whenever time is connected to a word, think routine, as in breakfast time, playtime, story time, lunchtime, rest time, teatime, dinnertime, bath time and bedtime. To create a healthy rhythm, we can think about what we do leading up to these times and how we transition into the next one. We also observe the child, consider the family's needs and tweak as needed, always aiming for consistency as much as possible. 

Routine is doing something over and over again in the same way, in the same order - there's repetition.  Routine helps us remember and put things in order. Good routines involve a series of steps that help us create good habits. For example, a routine upon entering the house might be to take off our boots, put the boots or shoes on the mat, remove our jacket and hang it on a hook. Then we go into the bath room to wash hands, and use the toilet if needed or change the diaper of a little one. That's a routine. It's also a way of teaching a child through our example of how to take care of themselves, their clothing and the environment. It also gives the child a feeling of security to do the familiar as well as a sense of competence. 

First step _ remove boots

Second step ~ place boots on mat

Third step ~ remove jacker

Fourth step ~ hand jacket on hook

Fifth step ~ wash hands and use toilet/change diaper if needed

To create a healthy family rhythm, we need to look at the child's needs, and organize our child's day so that those needs are met, the practical needs of setting out clothing and preparing for the next day as well as the energetic needs of  quieting down the environment before bed, to help the child relax towards bedtime. 

What quality of activity does the child need at a particular time of day? That depends on the child's age. Young children all needs plenty of time for movement and free play both indoors and out. They also need a time to draw inward and unwind or digest their more rambunctious or stimulating experiences. Does the child need to go outside and run and jump and roll around? Does the child need to settle in close for a story and some snuggle time? What does the child's age and developmental need call for? Does an activity bring us inward to a quiet place or does it have an expansive quality?

To create a good rhythm means to bring conscious awareness to the energetic qualities of the child's activities of daily, weekly and seasonal life, and set them up to meet the child's needs - as well as to create repetitive experiences that unfold in the same familiar way every day. Rhythm and Routine work together.

Conscious Intention and Conscious Attention
Now we return to where we started, that rhythm is all about the conscious intention and conscious attention given to balancing the energetic quality of activities (rousing-calming, inner-outer, challenging-soothing, quiet-loud) and transition moments that infuses routines with rhythm. We implement a new step with intention and bring our conscious attention to the moment to help make it happen. We are the change makers. 

This may sound so simple, and it is, one step at a time. Implement one small change and repeat until it comes easily. Then try another. One step at a time. It takes time to build up strong healthy rhythms. 

Read Article #1 Routine in the Waldorf Home:: What is it?  here
Read Article #2 Why Routines?  here
Read Article #4
Read Article #5 When Rhythm + Routine Work Together  here
Read Article #6 The Secret Sauce with Rhythm  here


Earlier Articles on Rhythm
Rhythm here
Rhythm ~ Waldorf Style here

Peace on Earth begins at Home. 

Feeling Bad You Didn't Celebrate Santa Lucia?

If you didn't celebrate Santa Lucia today by rousing your family with a crown of flaming candles on your head,  singing songs and carrying a tray of warm coffee and Lucy buns to each family member still in bed, no worries.

It's okay.

You're okay.

You are good enough.

Plenty good enough.

It is a beautiful festival, and for those who celebrate it, wonderful!

For those who do not, it's okay.

In Waldorf schools, the festival of Santa Lucia is typically a celebration that is carried by the Second Grade Class, the grade when Waldorf students spend a good part of the year studying saints and sinners. (Saints and Sinners is a phrase I picked up from Eugene Schwartz of Essential Waldorf. Isn't it a perfect description of what the child is wrestling with at this age?)

The Second Grade Class, sometimes with the help of the class parents with the baking and the clothing adjustments, prepares the goods, learns the songs, appoints a student to serve as Santa Lucia and wear the crown of flaming candles, (for the intrepid, the more cautious use battery lit candles) and then, in the morning, the class sings and serves its way around the school. It's beautiful.

It's a festival that lends itself well to groups.

The kindergarten is sometimes visited, but not always.

It's a festival that meets the particular developmental age of the child.

It's a festival that is celebrated in specific parts of the world.

If you didn't celebrate it, don't worry.

You are good enough.

Plenty good enough.

Announcing eCourse on Discipline Part II

practical strategies for love: the heart of discipline

~ a month of practice
::

Oh dear parents, you know what it is to be a parent. We have moments of sweetness and tenderness that fill and expand our hearts in ways we never imagined possible.

And we have those moments of frustration, when we want to stomp our feet and yell to the universe, "Get me out of here! Take me away, now, please?!"

I have had moments when that little voice inside is saying to me, "This is not what I thought it would be like to be a parent, to be a family. This is so not what I imagined."

Parenting brings out our very best and our worst. Somedays it is hard to find that middle ground, to breath and keep on going, with humor.

In the past few decades, we have seen an explosion of "how to" parenting books. From the "do as I say, not as I do," authoritarian mode, of angry outbursts, to sticks and carrots, to positive affirmation.

But that there is another way. One that rises from within, out of our own experience, out of our own being that is based on the developmental picture of the child and grounded in healthy attachment. One that is sparked by the creative flame in each parent, so it is unique to you. Conscious. Connected. Creative.

For the month of March, for 31 days in a sort of intensive boot camp, I will share practical strategies, based on the developmental picture of the child, that we will practice together through the month.

Come join a wise, warm and engaging community of others on this path.

We'll examine habits that are not working and find new ways to create an inner and outer environment to help bring harmony and breathing to our days. we look at the language we use and find creative responses to situations that are challenging.

I'll do this through the use of tips, examples, pictures of challenging situations and creative approaches.

As a parent of nearly twenty years, teacher and care giver to many children over the years, I bring a good deal of experience in sticky situations. I also have had great teachers throughout my life who have inspired me wit their patience, wisdom, humor and grace. I hope to pass that along to you in this month of practical application.

Registration is Closed

this eCourse runs from March 1 to March 31st

you may return indefinitely after the course ends and closes to new members on March 31st

Registration Options:

:: eCourse only is $25 Sign up here

:: eCourse and all the Living Curriculum Program support materials for March  $45 ~ learn more on what that includes here
:: an eCourse for each month of the year (12), the Living Curriculum program for Twelve months ~ $495

Announcing a Planning E-Course!

GET ORGANIZED!
something new

please note this planning session e-course will run again from August 19th until September 16th for four more weeks of sketching out the rhythm of the year with a plan for homemaking and homeschooling that reflects the seasons and the rhythm of the year where you live

Okay friends, it's that time of year. You know the phrase, it's time to fish or cut bait...? Well now is a great time to sketch out, delve into and firm up your homeschool and homemaking plans. There's still plenty of time to explore, chew on, and digest material and have a long leisurely summer with plenty of time for reading up on what interests you. The new moon that began on Monday lends the perfect oomph! energetically to start a project that involves commitment and intention and yet leaves plenty of time to to go slowly and to savor the work. 

savor: taste and enjoy it completely 

Isn't that what we all want of life, to savor it and enjoy it completely? Yet who has enough time with parenting, homeschooling and homemaking? We do! If we start now and go with the energy of the new moon, we'll have time to simmer our plans for fall and sketch out our program for winter and spring - and even next summer too, if you wish to go that far.

Let's ride the energy of this new moon and Get Organized!

"When the Moon is new, the Sun and Moon are aligned in the same sign, and a powerful energy portal is opened. New Moons are a great time to set intentions for things you'd like to create, develop, cultivate, make manifest. There are many ways to initiate this communion with the Universe from lighting a candle to elaborate rituals. What matters is that you're committing yourself to your vision, and open to receiving guidance, healing, support from Spirit."  ~ New Moon Magic 

• Do you approach each new year with big plans and then grope for how to implement them?
• Would you like to be organized so you'll feel fully ready and confident when September rolls around? 
• Do you have too many resources and struggle with what to use?
• Wondering where to start? What's out there? What's right for you? and how to pull it all together? 

 I am offering a planning session over the next four weeks from July 15th to August 11th to lead you in organizing a planner and sketching out your coming year for homemaking and homeschooling.

We'll focus on the rhythm of the year, work with the seasons and work into our weekly and daily rhythms.

We'll begin with a look at the rhythm of the year. How does it contract and expand? How does that work with our homeschooling and homemaking? How can we put the energy of the year to work in supporting us and our homemaking and homeschooling endeavors?

We'll look at seasonal activities and celebrations as well as Main Lessons for the 2013 - 2014 school year, including festivals, crafts and handwork from nursery age through eighth grade.

I am offering this special Get Organized! planning session for homemakers, homeschoolers, teachers, child care providers, and anyone else, for a small registration fee to keep it inclusive and affordable for all. It runs from Sunday July 14th (Jour de la Bastille or French Revolution Day!) to Sunday August 11th. No need to be "Waldorf." Anyone with an interest in planning with the seasons is welcome.

*By popular demand we will start anew on Monday August 19th and go for another four weeks to September 16th*

Each week in we'll look at a different element of "sketching it out" and by the end of the session you'll walk away with planner in place, full of what is nearest and dearest to your heart for the upcoming school year along with links and resources for supplies and supporting materials.

WHAT WE WILL TAKE UP IN THIS COURSE

What are your family values?

How to align it with daily living?

What are the distinct characteristics of Waldorf education and how do they translate with homeschooling?

Daily, weekly, monthly and seasonal rhythms for main lesson, crafts, handwork and festivals

Domestic activities to support a rhythmic home life and get everyone on board

Speech

Movement

Drama

Singing and Musical Instrument

Handwork from Nursery through Grade 8

Guest speakers include Lynn Jericho on Tempermants, Rahima Baldwin on Homeschooling and Homemaking, Howard Schrader on A Strong Start, Christine Natale on storytelling and Nancy Parsons Whittaker on Resources for Homeschoolers.

This online course includes handouts (pdf form), blog posts, articles, resources, guest speakers, roundtable discussion and four weeks of guidance from experienced Waldorf homeschooling Mamas, grandmas and wise women!

First and foremost Waldorf education is an artistic endeavor in which the teacher as artist brings the material to the student through drawing, painting, modeling, speech, drama, puppetry, storytelling and more. As it is through our own artistic striving that our children benefit, we'll set off on the right artistic foot with a creative project of our own, our planner.

ORGANIZE YOUR PLANNER

We'll ground our planning in the four seasons and the rhythm of the year.  I'll offer examples and templates for planning the day, weeks, months and year. We'll explore different strategies for organization and you'll  chose the one that suits your needs best and put it into your planner.

SKETCH IT OUT

Next we'll take up planning the year through the year, the seasons, the months, the weeks and the daily rhythm of life, in the Waldorf home for nursery, kindergarten and grade school children. We'll fill in the planner.

This planning session supports families who school school yet want to have a Waldorf home life with a focus on seasonal living a well as families who wish to bring elements of Waldorf into their lives. We'll look at how and where you can integrate the Pillars of Waldorf Homeschooling with Rudolf Steiner's approach through "soul economy" to make for a rich, satisfying, rhythmic and energizing year.

You'll be encouraged to figure out what is important for your needs and your family. I'll share resources and tips to find the material you need to bring the kind of Main Lessons/Daily Activities that are important to you.  We can talk about what sort of Main Lesson to start and end the year with as well as the rhythm of main lessons, within the family day.

Most of all I can help you find the rhythm of the home that will carry you and your family through the days, weeks, months and seasons of the coming year. I can explain the whys of the Waldorf ways and help you discern the whys as to what is important developmentally and support you to explore what is important for your family.

There is no one way to homeschool with Waldorf education, there are many. I can support you to create imaginations and find the one that is right for you.

Join me, a Waldorf mom who first began Waldorf homeschooling in 1998 when we had no Waldorf homeschooling resources online. Today, I am preparing our homeschool year with a rising fifth grader and a twelfth grader who will be away on an adventure. I  have seen just about every English language Waldorf curriculum out there, I have made my own curriculum and have used others' curriculums, as well as worked in Waldorf schools, and observed Waldorf grade classrooms, in addition to work as an early childhood teacher, in the kindergarten and nursery along the way.

I love homeschooling with the Waldorf approach to life, it is truly a life shaping, life changing and growth full pathway for parent as well as child and family. Each time we return to material, something new emerges, understanding goes deeper. I'd like to help you find your way into this too. My own path has taken may turns in this endeavor and I'd be glad to share with you what I have learned along the way.

Join me on this adventure to sketch out the year ahead and remain well anchored in the day before us.

The program includes blog posts, conference calls, resource and support materials and a private discussion group devoted to Getting Organized ::  Sketch it Out!

In August I will offer a follow up online class as part of the Celebrating the Rhythm of Life in Caring for Children Program on Creating a Family Home :: Setting Up the Space ~ Handmade and Homemade Preparation (on a shoestring budget) for a year of creativity, wonder and rhythm, to ease us back into the homeschooling and homemaking year with strong daily, weekly, monthly and seasonal rhythms.

This planning session is free of charge for:

• Year round members of Celebrating the Rhythm of Life with Children
• Last Years Sketching it Out Members (June and July 2012) may return at no charge (kindky send me an email if you'd like to join in this year)

Registration is Closed

Lisa Boisvert Mackenzie began homeschooling on a remote tropical island in the South Pacific nearly two decades ago at a time when materials were scarce and the only approach was a simple one. The gifts of homeschooling while living "miles from nowhere" have remained with me and I can share with you, how to slow down, how to live simply and how to figure out what it is that matters for you in your homeschooling and homemaking with Celebrate the Rhythm of Life with Children through the Year, a program/curriculum for homemaking and homeschooling.

Manners, Courtesy and Gentle Politeness

As adults we know what it is to be treated courteously and politely. We  know the basic rules of civility, of how to get along with others in the world, at least in public and most of the time. Yet with children the lines are more easily blurred.

Others, and particularly strangers and family members, may not know our child well enough to know that our child's play is simply play and may at times take behavior to be offensive. Loud squeals may hurt someone's ears in the grocery store and a fast moving tricycle may be dangerous around the legs of an older person walking with a cane.

How do we give our children free rein to be children and respect others at the same time?

When it comes to behavior with children and others, I often reflect back to the basic rule of three:

1. You may not harm yourself. ( a discussion on the perception of harm might follow among us adults)
2. You may not harm others.

3. You may not harm property.

Yet there is something missing in this rule of three, some nuance between the lines that is not exact and not easy to codify. It's that behavior that might be acceptable outdoors but not indoors or the rising voice in the grocery store or the use of certain slang in public. It calls for a discernment of the environment and of the audience and of what makes people comfortable and puts them at ease. This is what manners boil down to, putting people at ease in social situations.

And so appears the notion of courtesy. The word courtesy according to Wikipedia means, "gentle politeness or courtly manners." It arose from the days of the royal court and was codified in books of etiquette. I like the term gentle politeness. Somehow the word gentle which means, "of or belonging to the same stock, clan or race" brings warmth to the term. We are all human and worthy of consideration by others, all of the same clan- the human one. 

With children so many opportunities arise for reflection on language and behavior in social situations. From being in close quarters and noticing the rising volume of sound or being inside or waiting in line with a small child who needs to move and finding the lack of space for free movement or the blurting out of words or phrases that make me want to turn invisible and vanish from the spot. How to respond to that? 

I've come to use the words at ease and uncomfortable as in, "that makes others uncomfortable" or "that puts others at ease" in discussing behavior and language with my children. When my youngster starts raising his voice in the store I remind him that others might not like to hear the loudness. Or when my older child tells me that the F word is a good word, everyone uses it, I agree that it is a powerful word and when used discerningly has a great impact- and I remind him that some folks might be uncomfortable with it and encourage him to discern if his audience and his environment are at ease with his use of it.

Manners and courtesy had their origins in discernment, in discerning the social group to which one belonged, and in doing so, discerning those who did not belong. Today, in a time that acknowledges the dignity of all human beings regardless of all factors that once were considered social dividers, it seems possible to plant seeds in our children and to remind ourselves that the experience of others does matter and sometimes it is in the relating to the other human or humans that meaning is made rather than in some absolute right or wrong of the act or the word.