Getting Started with Waldorf at Home

If you're considering Waldorf homeschooling or wanting to bring Waldorf  into your home life and parenting, there's one step to take, one thing you need to do.

The key to starting and maintaining Waldorf homeschooling, homemaking, and parenting is the same: begin by building a strong foundation of living daily life together, build up a healthy rhythm for daily life. This includes parenting and homemaking. With strong family rhythms for parenting and homemaking, there's more time for homeschooling and incorporating those wonderful Waldorf activities into our lives. 

This foundation first takes into account everyday tasks like laundry, bathing, meal preparation and cleanup, dusting, sweeping, vacuuming, window washing, pet care, face washing, hand holding, and diaper changing  ~ all the caregiving activities that fill our days.

A healthy home rhythm is at the heart of this foundation. Rhythm is the key to a solid foundation. 

Begin by crafting and implementing a rhythm that supports your family's needs. There is no one size fits all with rhythm. The best rhythm for you is the one that serves your family's unique needs. 

While it's true that establishing this rhythm takes self discipline, persistence and patience, a strong home rhythm provides strength, freedom and spaciousness to daily life. A strong healthy rhythm helps carry the day. It takes some effort to get started, and it takes time to build up a good rhythm, once it takes hold, a good rhythm provides a momentum of its own, and frees us to be more present in the moment. 

The saying is true, rhythm replaces strength! 

Warmly,

For more 👇 on rhythm  

What is Rhythm?

Rhythm Waldorf Style

An Inner Experience of Rhythm

The Gift of Light

Festivals are celebrated with song, food, stories and a "picture" of the event being celebrated. One way to celebrate Advent is with verses to say upon lighting a candle. This is one of my favorites. It could be said while passing a candle from one to another. I don't know the origin of this verse. I think it is from a language other than English. The version below I have adapted in a way that resonates for me. 
 ::

::

The gift of light we thankfully take.

Yet it shall not be alone for our sake.

The more we give light,

The one to the other,

The more it shines and spreads even farther.

Until every spark set aflame,

Touches hearts with joy to proclaim.

In the depths of our souls a shining sun glows.

Not long shall continue the darkness of the year,

As light draws near. 

This months eCourse is Simple, Slow and Sacred. 

Registration is closed.

The First Light of Advent

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We're having a slow start to Advent this year, taking our time to shift out of Thanksgiving mode. 

Most people celebrate Advent by beginning on the fourth Sunday before Christmas. I believe that is what the churches do so that church going people have four Sundays to celebrate. Others begin on the first of December with Advent calendars that have 24 doors. I like to begin on the fourth Sunday, but it tends to feel like we're still in Thanksgiving mood. 

~ I don't know who created this image and text, if you do please let me know so I can credit them. 

The Waldorf Curriculum

If you're familiar with Waldorf education, you know that it has distinct characteristics. One of them is the curriculum, one that is taught at Waldorf schools around the world.

The Waldorf curriculum unfolds through the grades with a particular series of subjects that are taught in Main Lesson Blocks. These subjects that are studied in Main Lesson Blocks are not studied for information and facts, the way more mainstream education does, with a sort of filling up the child with information on a topic, or an era in history.  The subjects taught in Waldorf education are chosen and used because they reflect a changing aspect of human development, of the history of humankind, that is reflected in the child, at that particular age/stage/grade. These topics are taught artistically with stories that create inner pictures of how people lived, with stories, myths, legends they lived by. The stories that are told are rich in pictures of what it means to be human and meet us at a deep level, a soul level.

These topics reflect the change that humanity, that human consciousness was experiencing during that epoch. These changes are reflected in how people lived, and the stories we have from their times. 

The only way for Waldorf homeschoolers to be exposed to this without doing teacher training,  is to look at how Waldorf school teachers teach particular subjects. 

Charles Kovacs, twenty year teacher at the Edinburgh Steiner School left a legacy with his lectures in book form on topics that span Grade 5 though 8, and may also be applicable in 9th and 10th grade.

Eugene Schwartz in his lectures speaks to this. He is at Millennial Child. 

Others leave little bits, sort of like a trail of crumbs that become familiar once you begin to recognize them. 

Help! I'm Not Prepared for Michaelmas - What to Do?

My Question of the Week is: 

"HELP! I am feeling so unprepared for Michaelmas, what can I do?"

My response is this:

Keep it simple. 

Let go of the feeling that you must have Michaelmas "stuff."

You don't have to buy anything.

Really.

Resist should dos.

Embrace what's around you.

You don't need special toys or a sword and a cape or a scale, not even a picture of the Archangel Michael for the littles (the under nine crowd.)

You don't have to buy figures for the nature table.

Notice the gifts Mother Nature is offering at this time of year: beautifully colored leaves, apples, acorns, seed pods... bring them in, make it pretty - there's your nature table. You might like to sew and add a simple gnome from an old sweater that got felted in the dryer and is ready for a new purpose, for gnomes are the elemental beings of autumn.

Resist talking about the Archangel Michael or a festival with the children younger than second grade.

Really.

We want to share it all with them, we love it so much. Save a little for the years ahead.

Let second grade be the year of learning about the Archangel Michael.

Young children look to us to learn what it means to be human. They need to see us finding joy and meaning within. They don't need names for this harvest festival, they need experiences. Of seeing a task through. Of harvesting marigold seeds or fruits or vegetables or nuts. Of putting the garden to rest. Of playing in the leaves. Of taking the sweaters and hanging them to air. Of washing the lawn furniture and preparing it for winter. Of sweeping leaves off the deck. Of picking apples and bring some to a neighbor. Of baking pies and sharing one with someone who could use some sweetness in their life.

You don't have to craft anything or even to learn a whole circle this week.

Embrace simple.

Let your celebration flow out of your life.

It won't look like the Waldorf school.

You're not a Waldorf school.

You're a mom or a dad, living in a home creating a culture of your family.

Your celebration will suit your family and your life.

A few examples of what I mean by simple:

:: Tell one story of courage.

:: Go apple picking.

:: Polish apples with a flannel cloth from the ragbag, with care.

:: Cut an apple in half horizontally and discover (with a feeling of awe and wonder) the star inside.

:: Go out in the evening and wonder in amazement at the stars.

:: Roast vegetables in the fire ~ corn, potatoes, carrots, onion, something yummy.

:: Gather marigold seeds from the dry and dead flower heads.

:: Make seed packets from watercolor paintings for your marigold seeds. Put them away in a dry spot to "sleep" over the winter.

"For the young child, Michaelmas is a harvest festival, a time to savor the harvest, roast vegetables, polish apples, cut them in half to discover the stars within and celebrate through song, story and food the gifts and  wonders of nature and all her beauteous bounty. Michaelmas is also a time for purposeful work." More here

Simple. Simple.

Read up on Michaelmas for adults, and walk with that, carry it along in your being, and just notice how it feels, what comes up for you. What inspires your courage? 

A Story for Summer :: The Wild Rose

With temperature's in the 90's it looks like summer is really "a -coming and winter has gone away-o!" At least for this week. We're in the season of the Flower Queen, and she has remained undaunted by the cold as her flower children blossom.

The wild roses are just beginning to bloom, the white in full bloom and the rose not quite yet to open.

Here's a sweet story to tell for summer. It's appropriate for children of all ages, including the wee littles. It's about Mother Nature and a wild rose. It's easy to imagine the larks and humming-birds coming to visit. For the young child, the world is alive and the notion that Mother Nature might talk to her flower children is quite natural, that's what mothers do!

The Moss Rose
~ by Leonore E. Mulets
(with a few adaptations by me)

Once upon a time a little pink wild rose bloomed by the wayside. To all who passed her way she threw out a delicate perfume and nodded in kindly welcome.

The larks and the humming-birds all loved the pink wild rose. The baby grasses and the violets snuggled up at her feet in safety. To all she was kind and sweet and helpful.

One day Mother Nature passed that way. She saw the gentle wild rose sending out her helpful cheer to all. Mother Nature was pleased.

She stopped a moment on her way to speak to the simple flower. She praised the wild rose for her sweetness and her beauty and her kindness. At last she promised her her choice of all the beautiful things that were in the store of Nature.

The pink wild rose blushed quite scarlet at the praise. For a moment she stopped to think.

"I should like," said the wild rose, blushing more and more, "I should like to have a cloak from the most beautiful thing you can think of."

Mother Nature looked down at her feet. She stooped. She arose and threw about the blushing pink rose a mantle of the softest, greenest, most beautiful moss.

Mother Nature passed on her way.

The sweet rose by the roadside drew her mantle of moss closely about her and allowed it to trail down the stem. She was very happy. She was never again to be called the simple wild rose, but in her heart she knew that her beautiful mossy mantle would only help her in spreading sweetness and kindness and beauty and the perfume of happiness through Mother Nature's world.

With a snip, snap, snout, my tale's told out!

::

June's eCourse is Love ~ the Heart of Discipline. Learn more about it and sign up here.

Learn to Tell Stories with Table Puppets ~a new eCourse!

Storytelling with Table Puppets

Join Anytime

4 Weeks 

Registration is Open

$149 

“We must do everything in our power to help the children to develop fantasy.” ~ Rudolf Steiner

::

Imagine...

Imagine yourself deepening your relationship to storytelling...

Imagine yourself enveloped by a warm and supportive community...

Imagine yourself crafting your own table puppets...

Imagine yourself receiving guidance and support each step of the way...

Imagine yourself telling stories with confidence using puppets made with your own hands...

This is Storytelling with Table Puppets!

Connie Manson, of Starlite Puppets and I have teamed up to bring you Storytelling with Table Puppets, a guided online course, as part of the Celebrate the Rhythm of Life ~ living curriculum program.

For four weeks, we'll take you by the hand and guide you through sourcing simple materials to crafting the table puppets that you can use again and again, with gentle guidance,  step by step instructions, and daily conversations. We'll show you how to use things you already have around the house, and we'll support you to tell stories with table puppets, music and confidence. We'll help you discern which stories are best to tell at each age and stage. 

We invite you to join us for 4 weeks of Storytelling with Table Puppets, this is what we'll do:

:: We'll explore different types of puppets and how to use puppets with different ages and stages

:: We'll teach you how to craft a table puppet and create a character by showing you steps with hands on tutorials

:: We'll show you how to use table puppets to tell a story

:: We'll show you delightful ways of telling a story using simple props you have at home

:: We'll delve deeper into the use of language and music with table puppet storytelling

:: We'll explore considerations in choosing a story

:: We'll explore character archetypes 

:: We'll help you find stories that are well suited to table puppets

:: We'll have fun together!!

Storytelling with Table Puppets is open for registration. Work at your own pace through the lessons. Connie and I will be present in the class everyday, responding to questions, adding material and encouraging conversation and sharing of your work.

You may return anytime, contribute to the conversation and enjoy "forever access" to the site and class materials.

This course offers great content and support as well as the convenience of doing a workshop at home, on your time. No driving needed. No need for a place to stay overnight. No fees for meals. It comes right to you, at home.

When you go to a training, and trainings are quite lovely,  you have the experience over a few days or a week, the course ends and you go home.  

With this online course, you have the benefit of time to try things out,  come back to the course, check in, ask questions, and communicate with teachers and classmates - it's ongoing support for puppet storytelling.

Registration Fee is $149

No Registration Fee for Year Round Members of

Celebrate the Rhythm of Life ~ living curriculum program

Consider joining! You receive the songs, stories, movement games, activities, childcare tips and recipes for each month as well as the eCourses I offer, all for one fee, with monthly payment options.

The First Day of First Grade

The first day of first grade is a very special day, it's a threshold day, a crossing from one stage of life to another. It’s a very special day for the child, as well as for the homeschooling parent- teacher.

For Waldorf homeschoolers, the first day of first grade is important as it marks the beginning of a new relationship between parent and child, as well as the start of actual main lessons in which the parent, as teacher, introduces the child to lines and curves, writing and reading, and ultimately to the beauty and wonders of the world. You might like to begin with a verse for the teacher.

I encourage you to take time and create a picture of how you want the day to feel and what you want the day to look like.

Imagine it.

Be with this picture you have created in your mind, the mood you want to bring, and give special attention on how you will convey this on the first day of school. Let it unfold in your mind.

Give yourself time to practice how you will introduce yourself as “teacher," and the process of home education that will unfold, so that you are fully ready and comfortable in your role as authority and teacher.

Perhaps you’ll have a picture on the chalkboard as well as a list of what you’ll be doing that day, or maybe images in the list too.

Perhaps you’ll make your child’s favorite food for breakfast, or put a special flower on the table.

Perhaps you’ll take a picture of your child in front of the house door.

Decide if you want to wear special first day of school clothing, something to mark the day, a little celebration.

Maybe you’ll have your child draw a picture of him or herself. You might do that too, a picture of yourself. Then put it away. Keep these and make the pictures of your child into a booklet for your child at the end of eighth grade, or twelfth grade, if you can pull it off in the high school years too. You can see your growth as well, in your self portraits, as well as your child's growth and development through the years.

After your special breakfast or special table, you might light your candle and “open” the day together with this verse from Rudolf Steiner for Grades 1-4, used in Waldorf schools around the world and as you do, you can remind yourself that Waldorf education was begun to educate the child and for bring about social reform. You are not alone with your endeavors as a Waldorf homeschooler, you are part of an worldwide movement, not only to educate children but make the world a better place for all, out of human freedom. Keep that in mind.

THE MORNING VERSE 

The Sun with loving light

Makes bright for me each day.

The soul with spirit power

Gives strength unto my limbs.

In sunlight shining clear,

I reverence, O God

The strength of humankind

Which Thou so graciously,

Hath planted in my soul.

That I will all my might

May love to work and learn.

From thee comes light and strength,

To thee rise love and thanks.

You might follow it with a talk, the first grade talk, suggested by Rudolf Steiner, about learning all different sorts of things, from others, how to write and read, to count and calculate with numbers, maybe a little sweet tidbit about your own experience of first going to school. 

"It is very important that you should speak to the children somewhat in this vein: “You have come to school, and now I am going to tell you why you have come to school.” This act of coming to school should immediately be drawn to their attention. “You have come to school in order to learn something. You have as yet no idea of all the things you will be learning in school, but there will be all sorts of subjects that you will have to learn. Why will you have to learn all sorts of different things in school? You no doubt know some adults, some grown-up people, and you must have noticed that they can do things that you cannot do. You are here so that one day you will also be able to do what grown-ups can do. One day you will be able to do things that you cannot do yet.” It is most important to work through this network of thoughts with the children.” ~Rudolf Steiner

Of course as homeschoolers, we are more likely to say, “We are beginning our lessons,” or “We are beginning our home study, or our home schooling. ” Whatever words resonate with you to describe the process of learning at home.

Give your child just one new item. Save the flute and the knitting needles, yarn and such for later. Begin with what you need to use on the first day only, and then over the days and weeks and months, you’ll have time to create a story to introduce the flute, and the knitting and the other supplies you are going to present to your child. You might even hold off on the beanbags and introduce them on the second day to have something new on day or even week two. 

When we hold back and introduce materials one at a time, we have the opportunity to make each one special and create joy and interest in the new material as well as in using it. It helps us to appreciate what we have, and feel grateful. This builds the foundation for gratitude and reverence. More about the gift of anticipation here.

If you have already begun and introduced them, no worries, you can re-introduce them in time and create a very special story context for presenting to your child, to make the materials you are working with special and appreciate. You might talk about the bees and the wax they make that is in the crayons.

Show your child where the school materials belong. Be sure to take good care of your own supplies and put them away with care each day, and lead your child to do the same, by your example.

Now are you ready with your circle and first Main Lesson for the first day of first grade?

Blessings on your school year!

Secular Waldorf :: Is that Possible?

The first time I heard the phrase "secular Waldorf," I thought to myself, "Gee, that sounds a bit odd." Then I thought about it a bit more and laid the question to rest.

When it came around again, I wondered some more, how could that be? I decided to investigate and looked up the definition of the word secular and upon googling it, this is what I found:

sec·u·lar

ˈsekyələr/

adjective

1. 1.

   denoting attitudes, activities, or other things that have no religious or spiritual basis.

   "secular buildings"

   synonyms:

   nonreligious, areligious, lay, temporal, worldly, earthly, profane; formallaic "secular music"

"No religious or spiritual basis."

Hmmmnnn…

Waldorf education is not religious at all, there is no religious doctrine whatsoever.

Does it have a spiritual basis?

Oh my yes!

Let's look more closely...

Waldorf education is built upon and around the picture of the human being as one with a spiritual dimension. It's very foundation is the human being as a spiritual being.

Does a person have to be spiritual and embrace the spiritual inclinations of Waldorf education to send their child to a Waldorf school?

I'd say no, not at all.

Yet as a homeschool parent teacher, I'd say it is essential to recognize the  spiritual basis of Waldorf education and have an understanding of how it is woven throughout the curriculum, how it shapes every aspect of the curriculum.

Families of all sorts of religious and cultural backgrounds are attracted to Waldorf education. 

Some folks love the ways the arts are integrated into the curriculum, some love the connection to nature, natural materials and outdoor play. Some parents love the importance and focus placed on imagination and wonder. Some love the beauty of the classrooms.

Yet every single aspect of Waldorf education is based on the image of the human being as a spiritual being. From what is taught and when, to the stories that are told, to the role of song and movement, to the blessings sung at the table, to the introduction of the alphabet and the numbers. It all relates back to the picture of the human being as a spiritual being.

It's not just about the Festivals.

Waldorf teachers, and by this I mean to include Waldorf homeschool parent teachers as well, who have experienced some immersion in the teaching of Waldorf education, are awakened to the spiritual aspects of teaching, of working with the spiritual world, of doing our own inner work, as a catalyst for our teaching, of working with body, soul and spirit.

This is why it is so difficult to nail down specifics of teaching Waldorf education, because we begin with an understanding, a common picture of the child, and humanity and the world and each other and ourselves. This is an ongoing process of striving, growth and understanding, not something that can be defined and left alone as a static thing.

Then, through observation of the particular child in our care, study, meditation, faculty meetings (this is a challenge for us to create as homeschoolers and a good topic for another conversation) and our own work with the spiritual world, we find inspiration and creativity to bring forth what it is the child needs.

Waldorf education is a dynamic form of education in this way. 

There is nothing rigid or fixed about Waldorf education with this approach for it is based in an ongoing process of growth and understanding. When what stands behind the curriculum is penetrated, it all begins to make sense and offer possibility, not a fixed way of doing things.

One of the particular challenges of the homeschool parent is in being isolated at home and in using material that someone else has written without understanding why. When we understand the whys, the deeper underpinning of the curriculum, it is so empowering because with that understanding, we are free to chose to use it as presented, adapt it, or do something entirely different, yet with an understanding of why we are doing it.

Here's an example… when third grade came around, I balked at using the Old Testament stories. I did not really understand how they speak to the child at that age beyond the superficial explanation that it has something to do with the child's relationship to authority. So I researched it and did reading and spoke with other Waldorf homeschooling parents, bought the Live ed curriculum, and did the online course with Eugene Schwartz and then it was as if the light bulb went on! I saw how it had nothing to do with religion and everything to do with history and the development of the human being.

Over the year, with this new insight, I was able to decide which stories to tell and watch my child grow and become aware of himself in relationship to the world in a new way.

I might have given up and opted out of the Old Testament stories because I was uncomfortable with them. Something nudged me to look deeper and in doing so, my eyes were opened to the depth and breadth of the curriculum and its way of speaking to the child in just the right way at the right time.

I was able to look back upon my own life at the age and glean new understanding of what I went through developmentally at that age.

A comment from Rudolf Steiner on the importance of growth and dynamic Waldorf education:

" I would give anthroposophy a new name every day to prevent people from hanging on to its literal meaning.... We must never be tempted to implement sectarian ideas.. . . We must not chain children's minds to finished concepts, but give them concepts capable of further growth and expansion. "

When we attempt to separate the spiritual foundation from Waldorf education, separate it from the alchemical process of spirituality, from the process that imbues it with its quality of wonder and transformation, we are throwing the baby out with the bath water in more ways than one.

To define Waldorf education as secular denies its spiritual dimensions, "chains" us as parent teachers  and "chains the children's minds, to finished concepts," and denies a fundamental aspect of the human being.

Waldorf education as a process of growth and transformation is kindled with spirit.

When we separate Waldorf education from spirit, we don't have Waldorf education anymore.

Celebrate the Rhythm of Life 

Harmonious Rhythms ::  Parenting with Soul :: Waldorf Homeschooling

Michaelmas

September 29th is known in the Christian world as the feast day of the Archangel Michael.  Michaelmas is also an important season in the Waldorf community. It's the first festival celebration in the school year at Waldorf communities in the northern hemisphere. 

Michaelmas is one of what I call the “ Big Four" Waldorf festivals. 

The “ Big Four”  festivals are: 

• Michaelmas
• Christmas
• Easter and 
• St. John’s Tide

Each takes place near one of the cardinal points in the year - the solstices and the equinoxes.

Michaelmas takes place near the autumn equinox, a time of balance, with equal day and equal night. The word equinox means equal night, “equi + nox." 

The Archangel Michael is an important figure in Christianity, Judaism and Islam. In the world of Waldorf education, anthroposophy and medicine he is said to be the guiding force of our times. Michael appears in both the Old and New Testaments of the Bible.

Michaelmas (pronounced mikel-mas) is a season, the season of the final ripening and gathering in, the harvesting of the earth's bounty. It's the season in which the earth begins to inhale her forces, which marks the turning of the year from the long hot expansive days of summer towards the dark cold contraction of winter.  Plants wither, leaves drop, the last ripened fruits, nuts and vegetables are taken in, feasted upon and put up for the cold days ahead. The geese are heading south. We are in the season of Michaelmas. 

As parents we begin to bring out the layers of clothing for physical warmth, cook up warm soups, stews and roasts and imbue our stories for children with light and warmth to carry us through the cold and dark days to come. An afternoon cup of tea brings warmth to body and soul in that moment of the day of quiet just before the shift towards dinner, bath and bed. A fire, either outdoors or inside warms body and soul.

When our family lived on the equator, autumn heralded in a marked change in the year, the storm season began with high swells on the sea, strong winds, heavy rain and typhoons. It was the time of year when we avoided certain crossings across the waters for it was likely to be rough. That was a time for pulling in a bit - despite the heat. The days grew shorter by thirty minutes and we noticed it. 

Michaelmas is the first of the festivals typically celebrated during the new school year at Waldorf schools. It is celebrated with stories about Michael and stories of shooting stars, courage, balance and strength are told. The grade school students often perform a play with a dragon. The older child might use a scale to contemplate the balance of his or her deeds over the course of time, and take stock.

For the young child, Michaelmas is a harvest festival, a time to savor the harvest, roast vegetables, polish apples, cut them in half to discover the stars within and celebrate through song, story and food the gifts and  wonders of nature and all her beauteous bounty. Michaelmas is also a time for purposeful work.

                                      " My nice red rosy apple has a secret midst unseen;

You’d see if you could slip inside, five rooms so neat and clean.

In each room there are hiding two seeds so shining bright;

Asleep they are and dreaming of a lovely warm sunlight.

And sometimes they are dreaming of many things to be

How some day they’ll be hanging upon a Christmas tree"

For the adult Michaelmas is a time to recognize the seeds of our own capacities and the inner dragons that obstruct our own path as well as the outer dragons of materialism, greed, stuff...what is our relationship to the material world? How do we enliven the swords of our imagination? How do we imbue it with spirit? How are we becoming human?

It is so hard to talk about Michaelmas as it is not about words or intellectuality, but about our thinking imagination, our deeds, our capacity to become more fully human. Michaelmas is a festival of strong will, of inner strength and courage.

• From Rudolf Steiner, on Michael and the Dragon, here
• For Reflections from Lynn Jericho on Michaelmas, here
• For Reflections from Danielle Epifani on Michaelmas as the Festival of Human Becoming, here
• Reflections from David Mitchell on why we celebrate Michaelmas, here

From Garrison Keillor of The Writer's Almanac on Minnesota Public Radio:

"In the Christian world, today is Michaelmas, feast day of the archangel Michael, which was a very important day in times past, falling near the equinox and so marking the fast darkening of the days in the northern world, the boundary of what was and what is to be. Today was the end of the harvest and the time for farm folk to calculate how many animals they could afford to feed through the winter and which would be sold or slaughtered. It was the end of the fishing season, the beginning of hunting, the time to pick apples and make cider.

Today was a day for settling rents and accounts, which farmers often paid for with a brace of birds from the flocks hatched that spring. Geese were given to the poor and their plucked down sold for the filling of mattresses and pillows.

Michaelmas was the time of the traditional printer's celebration, the wayzgoose, the day on which printers broke from their work to form the last of their pulp into paper with which to cover their open windows against the coming cold — the original solution for those who could not afford glass yet had more than nothing — and the advent of days spent working by candlelight.

In the past, the traditional Michaelmas meal would have been a roast stubble goose — the large gray geese that many of us only get to admire at our local state and county fairs. Today, when most poultry comes from the grocery store in parts and wrapped in plastic, a roast goose can be a difficult luxury to obtain, but any homey, unfussy meal is a fine substitute — especially with a posy of Michaelmas daisies or purple asters on the table.

In folklore, it is said that when Michael cast the Devil from Heaven, the fallen angel landed on a patch of blackberry brambles and so returns this day every year to spit upon the plant that tortured him. For this reason, blackberries would not be eaten after today, and so folks would gather them in masses on Michaelmas to put into pies and crumbles and preserves. And they would bake St. Michael's bannocks, a large, flat scone of oats and barley and rye, baked on a hot griddle and then eaten with butter or honey or a pot of blackberry preserves.

Whether you recognize Michaelmas or not, you can still greet what comes with the symbols of today: gloves, for open-handedness and generosity; and ginger to keep you warm and well in the coming cold."

Blessings on your season of Michaelmas! May your dragons be met with grace.

Manners, Courtesy and Gentle Politeness

As adults we know what it is to be treated courteously and politely. We  know the basic rules of civility, of how to get along with others in the world, at least in public and most of the time. Yet with children the lines are more easily blurred.

Others, and particularly strangers and family members, may not know our child well enough to know that our child's play is simply play and may at times take behavior to be offensive. Loud squeals may hurt someone's ears in the grocery store and a fast moving tricycle may be dangerous around the legs of an older person walking with a cane.

How do we give our children free rein to be children and respect others at the same time?

When it comes to behavior with children and others, I often reflect back to the basic rule of three:

1. You may not harm yourself. ( a discussion on the perception of harm might follow among us adults)
2. You may not harm others.

3. You may not harm property.

Yet there is something missing in this rule of three, some nuance between the lines that is not exact and not easy to codify. It's that behavior that might be acceptable outdoors but not indoors or the rising voice in the grocery store or the use of certain slang in public. It calls for a discernment of the environment and of the audience and of what makes people comfortable and puts them at ease. This is what manners boil down to, putting people at ease in social situations.

And so appears the notion of courtesy. The word courtesy according to Wikipedia means, "gentle politeness or courtly manners." It arose from the days of the royal court and was codified in books of etiquette. I like the term gentle politeness. Somehow the word gentle which means, "of or belonging to the same stock, clan or race" brings warmth to the term. We are all human and worthy of consideration by others, all of the same clan- the human one. 

With children so many opportunities arise for reflection on language and behavior in social situations. From being in close quarters and noticing the rising volume of sound or being inside or waiting in line with a small child who needs to move and finding the lack of space for free movement or the blurting out of words or phrases that make me want to turn invisible and vanish from the spot. How to respond to that? 

I've come to use the words at ease and uncomfortable as in, "that makes others uncomfortable" or "that puts others at ease" in discussing behavior and language with my children. When my youngster starts raising his voice in the store I remind him that others might not like to hear the loudness. Or when my older child tells me that the F word is a good word, everyone uses it, I agree that it is a powerful word and when used discerningly has a great impact- and I remind him that some folks might be uncomfortable with it and encourage him to discern if his audience and his environment are at ease with his use of it.

Manners and courtesy had their origins in discernment, in discerning the social group to which one belonged, and in doing so, discerning those who did not belong. Today, in a time that acknowledges the dignity of all human beings regardless of all factors that once were considered social dividers, it seems possible to plant seeds in our children and to remind ourselves that the experience of others does matter and sometimes it is in the relating to the other human or humans that meaning is made rather than in some absolute right or wrong of the act or the word.