Four Steps to Meal Planning

One of the wonderfully comforting aspects of Waldorf in the home is the rhythm and repetition of the activities of the days, weeks, seasons and year. There's a predictable flow to life.

The children know what to anticipate.

When children know what is coming, they feel secure. Children are able to relax and lean into the security and comfort of having a predictable flow to their lives. Going outside to play each morning after breakfast while mom hangs the clothes on the line, or climbing into bed at the end of the day to hear a story before lights go out, are two examples of a predictable sequence of events, also known as routine, that occur at the start of the day and the end of the day. 

These routines form a rhythm when they are done with a conscious awareness of how they flow energetically. The active play out of doors in the morning is just what a young child needs, and is deeply nourishing to the child, while the quieting down in the evening with a story before bed helps a child let go of the day.

This is one way Waldorf education or a Waldorf home life provides resilience to children in a rapidly changing and sometimes unsettling world - with the predictability of daily, weekly, seasonal, even yearly rhythms, that provide security to the children, in knowing that their world is reliable and consistent. They can depend on it and look forward to familiar events.

Children thrive on rhythm and repetition, on knowing what is to come and then doing it over and over again, whether it is singing a song, chanting a rhyme, repeating a refrain from a story,  acting out the same scenario again and again in play, or  hearing the same story over and over again. 

In the Waldorf kindergarten, this rhythm and repetition manifests in having the same predictable foods, the grains, on the same days of the week, week after week, over and over again. Young children thrive on a regular and predictable life. They need the repetition in their lives. It gives them a sense of security and well being.

Let's begin with the why. Why plan meals? 

Meal plans are a helpful way to anticipate what is coming in the week ahead. They help you plan meals ahead of time. Planning ahead gives you time to gather the ingredients you'll need and know what you're going to have for dinner each night of the week. There's no need to think about it. 

Of course you can always change your mind and your plan, and serve whatever you like any night of the week. It's yours! The purpose of the meal plan is to help you make your week more predictable, and make less work on a daily basis to put dinner on the table.

1. Begin with what you like to eat. 
Check in with the members of your family. Ask them each to name their favorite dinner. Ask each person to note for three or four favorite dishes that you prepare for dinner. Include your own preferences. Jot them down in a list.

2. Check your inventory. 
Look at what you have on hand: in the fridge, pantry and freezer. Look at the list of your family's favorite meals. What can you make with what you have? What do you want to make? Do you have the ingredients to make the meals on the list? What's easy to pick up without making a special trip? What's in season?

3. Take out your writing utensils and look at the week ahead. 
Are you all home for dinner every night? Do you have a regular night out? A pizza night or Chinese food night? Note them. Keep it simple. Sketch out a plan for the week. Don't get hung up on making it beautiful or permanent because your weeks will change, your tastes will change, what you feel like cooking will change and the seasonal foods will change. Just plan for this week. Baby steps. I use an envelope or piece of paper from the recycling bin, like this:

If you're serious about meal planning, you might like to keep a diary of your meal plans. That can come later. If you're new to meal planning, just start.

4. Note and shop for any ingredients you may need for all your meals for the week. 
Stick to one stop if that's possible. I note the ingredients I need to pick up in a different color, in this case red. It makes it easy to see when I go to the store. Because the meal plan is on the back of a used envelope, I don’t worry about preserving it, I just tuck it in my handbag or jacket pocket.

Now you're ready. Each morning, upon rising review your dinner plan in your mind. What needs prepping? At what time do you need to begin to have the meal on the table by a time that works for you and can be consistent?

Next step will be to consider a repetitive weekly thread to your meals, such as Friday Pizza night, Beans and Rice night, Curry night, Stir Fry night, whatever you like to prepare and eat night. But that's the next step. For this week work on a plan with what you have, what your family likes and what's easy to gather and use.

Best wishes to you if you're new to meal planning!

If you have a tried and true meal plan you'd like to share please leave it, along with any other comments below!

On Festival Fatigue

One of the conversations I'm having with mamas this week that is coming up over and over again is what to do about celebration or "festival fatigue." 

Christmas came and went. Okay for some it goes on until February 2nd, while the activities have  for the most part come and gone. What is left for some is fatigue. I call it "festival fatigue." Trying to do it all.

My advice comes out of my own life experience when I tell you that less is more. Children need a mom who is present and cheerful far more than they need another event to celebrate, for daily life is truly the celebration.

That the sun rises and sets and shines each day is something to celebrate. The wonder of clouds floating by is something to celebrate. Snowflakes falling. Snow on the ground. A cup of warm tea on a cold day. A candle with dinner. Holding hands with family before dinner to sing a song of gratitude.

We are surrounded by beauty and have so much to celebrate each day, in the simplest way.

Some words I wrote nearly to the day on January 12, 2011:

"If you have time to do the laundry, prepare the meals, do the dishes, clean up after, sleep adequately and go outside everyday and still have time leftover, then take up the celebrations. Otherwise, just light a candle with meals and celebrate being together, being sane and having quiet moments." If you'd like to read more, it's here.

Mamas, we all strive and struggle and want to create conditions for our children to have the very best childhood. I want to remind you today, to remind yourself everyday, they do. They have you. And each day is a new day with something simple to celebrate. It's already there. Ease up on yourself. (I include myself here) It is not about the decorations or crafts. It is about what lives in your heart. 

Take your child in your arms or on your lap, have a good snuggle or rocking time. Just be present. Be there with yourself, and your child. Play a lap game or a finger play. Tell a story from your childhood, something simple that you remember.

This really is the foundation of rhythm. Of being present in the moment. Of simplifying the activities in the day so that we (me included) can just be here in the moment.

Warmly,

Set a Pretty Table

:: Clarity ~ Intention ~ Care ::

What is it?

Set a Pretty Table is 52 Weeks of Enthusiasm and Nourishment and Thoughtful Intention for Tending the Hearth you call Home

Within the very word Hearth, we find Heart and Art ~ (heart)h and he(art)h

H{e(art)}h 

Set A Pretty Table will inspire you through 52 weeks of tending the hearth, (heart)h, (he(art) with a simple, enthusiastic reflection, tip or suggestion for each week to support you to create an atmosphere in the home that reflects your values...

• Each Sunday you'll receive an inspiration, suggestion, tip or reflection for the week.
• We have a private meeting place to connect and share over the topic each week 

The messages encourage and inspire you to take simple steps to bring beauty and rhythm to your life in very simple ways. They will inspire you to look within, as well as to stretch yourself outward to try new things: to paint, draw, color, sing, model or become more aware of the natural rhythms surrounding you.

“The ordinary arts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest.” 

~ Thomas Moore

Call it "Where the rubber meets the road," the way to put into practice what you hold dear. Simple. Slow. Satisfyingly. Finding beauty, truth and goodness in the art of the everyday.

Each week brings its own unique and distinct inspiration.

I invite you to join this community for the next 52 weeks.

I was inspired to create this community, by the notion that it is attention to the little things in life that count. That the little things matter the most. The Ordinary Arts.

That's why I am calling it Set a Pretty Table.

A table is a place where we come together to nourish ourselves.

To set a pretty table is to make an effort to bring rhythm, beauty and our love, manifest as attention, to the moment.

Each person's perspective of beauty is unique. It is limitless, full of possibility.

Beauty shows up in the small, simple touches, as well as the grandiose and passionate statements.

Beauty, and love, are everywhere.

This course is meant as an inspiration to bring it to the table.

Both literally and figuratively.

As individuals. As parents. As teachers. As caregivers. As grandparents. As hearth tenders. As heart tenders. As artists. As soulful beings. As human beings.

We focus on the ordinary arts.

When we approach our days with this in mind, we are creating mindfulness. It helps us to become more present in the moment.

If you've taken my eCourses before and found the reflections and questions for you helpful, and loved being part of a community, you'll love this course.

It's simple and slow paced yet packed full of depth and meaning.

It's a Simple, Slow and Savory approach to the whole year.

Join a community of hearth tenders and home makers to journey around the year together with 52 weeks of Set a Pretty Table.

Bring a Friend 

Because this is a brand new program, and a brand new year, and it can be fun to try new things with a friend, I am inviting new members to sign up with a friend, with a two for one enrollment opportunity. 

One person enrolls for $99 and sends me the name of the second person who is sharing the membership. This offer is on the table until January 15th.

 

:: Sign Up is Closed ::

Included with Membership for Year Round Members of Celebrate the Rhythm of Life 

The Period of Watchful Waiting

Thanksgiving came and went.

My thoughts have been with the water protectors in Standing Rock, standing strong to protect their sacred ground, their ancestors' burial sites, the water for their children, their land, their treaty rights, the water for everyone, the very well being of the earth. Watching the Native American people stand clear and strong. Standing for all of us. A time for healing and change. Urging the people and the leaders of the United States to find our identity as a nation, to clarify what this country stands for, and who it is about and act.

It's an unsettling time, and yet a time ripe with hope and potential. A little bit like transition when a woman is giving birth.

The first light of Advent is the light of stones, lights that live in seashells, in crystals and in bones.

Advent is a season in itself, a season of anticipation. The very word "Advent" has in its roots "ad" meaning towards + "venir" to come. Coming towards. Advent is a season of "coming towards." Of anticipation. Of quiet waiting.

It reminds me of my midwifery work in which the first trimester of pregnancy is known as The Period of Adjustment, the second trimester as The Period of Radiant Health and the third trimester as The Period of Watchful Waiting. These come from Helen Varney of Varney's Midwifery.

Advent is like the third trimester, we are in The Period of Watchful Waiting. A time of quiet anticipation. Waiting for what is to come. As the world is waiting, and praying, for  what will come at Oceti Sakowin. Women and healing work at Otceti Sakowin here, scroll down.

Watchful Waiting.

You Know the Feeling of Not Being a Good Enough Mother?

I sure do.

This month I am teaching an eCourse on Child’s Play :: the Wellspring of Life, as the monthly focus topic in my Program Celebrate the Rhythm of Life for homeschoolers, homemakers and anyone seeking to create a soulful life with children. 

As I was working through some thoughts and writings for this class, a picture, one that  helped me to better understand and “see" the young child, kept coming to mind from my own childrens' toddler days, as I was trying to find words to explain an aspect of movement and play during ages and stages to the class. 

I knew the illustration was in one of these little books from the Gesell Institute of Child Development. 

What I could remember is that the illustration shows clearly how children move from activity to activity at various ages and stages of development, and then slow down into more focused and extended play. I went to visit that book shelf of mine, where I keep my collection of these little books. It’s a place that does not have so many visits from me anymore.

I began to thumb through them, settling in and chuckling as I read bits of text. So many fond and funny memories came up that reminded me of the good feelings I had whenever I went to these little books with a question or concern. They were like a wise trusted friend to me with their common sense and guidance. I always heaved a big sigh of relief in realizing that I was not alone with my concerns and in learning that my child’s behavior and my feelings about were completely normal and to be expected. These little guides helped me know that others grope with these situations too.

These little guides brought me back to feeling grounded as a mother and helped me remember that “Yes, I am a good enough Mom,” and “My children are healthy, normal children. They are going to turn out just fine."

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about, from Your Four Year Old, by Louise Bates Ames and Frances Ilg:

“And we have the (supposedly true) story of a little Boston girl whose mother, discouraged by her profanity, told her that if she swore once more, she (the mother) would pack the girl’s suitcase and ask her to leave home. The girl did swear once more. The mother did pack the suitcase and put her and it outside the door. After a few minutes, feeling guilty, the mother went to look for her daughter. The child was still sitting on the steps.

'I thought I told you to leave home,' said the mother. 'I would have if I could have thought of where the Hell to go,' was her daughter’s reply.” 

In the back section of the book, there are Questions from parents. 

Here are a few examples:

Mother Can’t Stand Her Four Year-Old

Four Year Olds Don’t Always Tell the Truth

There’s Nothin Wrong with Having an Imaginary Companion

Wonderful gems these are, full of assurance and holding a broad spectrum of normal behavior in children, something that is a rare gift and can be hard to find these days.

Do you have people, books or situations in your life that reassure you that you are just fine, your children are normal and all will be well?

Please share in the comments below. We all need to uplift each other and remind ourselves that mothering and children encompass a broad spectrum of feelings and behaviors and its all good.

Simple, Slow and Meaningful

We’re in slow motion this year, still lingering in the mood of sweet slowness that follows Thanksgiving. We’re stuffed with roast turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, spicy chickpeas, cranberries and all the goodness of the Thanksgiving table.

 It’s warm inside and wet, cold and gray out of doors. I'm waiting for the snow.

We’ve unplugged from the busyness of the world, partly by choice, partly by force. My son was in an accident just before Thanksgiving and got quite bashed up. He is now on the mend, thanks to what must have been divine intervention, as well a very skilled surgeon, and a wonderfully kind hospital crew, for whom I feel enormously grateful.

With surgery and broken bones, there's lots of down time for convalescing. We canceled our travel plans and stayed put. It has been sweet.

As we move along in the season of Advent, I ask myself what matters most to me? The people I care about. My family and friends. My work. Cultivating community. Ample time. Being fully present in the moment.

How do I live these values as we approach the busy holiday time of year, with so many events and activities  beckoning us to join?

I begin with a checking in on our family home rhythms. The pulse of our daily life can tell us a good deal about what’s going on.

Next I look around and begin right where I am. In the days of slow and simple. Right here. Right now. And I savor it.

Rhythm

This word is used quite often with Waldorf education.

What is rhythm? What is the rhythm of life?

Rhythm is movement, flow, pattern, form, pulse, cadence. Rhythm is a place between polarities, that of being stuck and rigid on one end and that of flowing wildly in every direction without form or the ability to pull in, complete expansion at one end, contraction at the other.

Rhythm is the place of healthy movement between the poles. Like breathing, if we contract too much we are gasping and quickly exhausted; this can be very stressful with no out breath. If we are in one long out flow of breath for too long, we may not be able to rouse ourselves to action when necessary.

Children thrive in a place of healthy rhythm. Rhythm provides balance, ease, strength, reassurance and predictability, a feeling of safety and calm, much needed in this hectic world. To find the harmonious rhythm is a process in this busy life, a process of striving to find the rhythm that best serves children and family life.

The young child incorporates the rhythms of life into his or her very being by internalizing the experiences of the external world into his or her very being. The experience of harmonious rhythm that surrounds the child is taken in deeply by the child. A healthy relationship to rhythm nourishes the sense of balance, the feeling of calm and the ability to rouse to action and then withdraw and flow into the next activity. Rhythm helps form good habits. To find and provide a healthy rhythm is a form of discipline rooted in guidance through deeds not words.

Nature provides external rhythm with the cosmic flow, the natural rhythm of the movement of the planets and the stars , the rising and setting of the sun, the waxing and waning of the moon and the turning of the seasons.

Rhythm is also internal with the rhythm of the body which includes breathing, with inspiration and exhalation, the rhythm of the heartbeat, the pulse, the rhythm of the menstrual cycle and the rhythm of the unfolding soul.

Before birth, the fetus knows the rhythm of the mother's body, of her heartbeat and breathing, of her sleeping and waking, of her active time and quietude and of the light of night and day. The mother often knows her child's pattern of movement and sleep in utero.

The newborn child develops a rhythm of heartbeat and breathing, of eating and sleeping, of active observation, exploration, and movement, as well as quiet dreaminess. Rhythm that we provide for the infant includes breastfeeding, the sucking and mother's heartbeat provide strong rhythm and warmth, rocking, cradle and lullabies.

The toddler's rhythms expand from those of eating and sleeping and play to joining in activities of the household which might include the rhythm of the day, the week, the month and the year. Nursery rhymes, rhythmic songs, rhythmic ring games, finger plays and the telling of simple rhythmic stories are ways to bring rhythm to the toddler.

Activities of the daily rhythm include laundry: washing, drying, folding, putting away, meals: preparing, serving, enjoying and clearing , washing dishes, sweeping the floor, mopping the floor, bringing out the compost, feeding the turtle, rabbit, dog, cat or hens, making the beds, turning down the bed covers, taking a bath, hearing a story and going to sleep.

Weekly rhythm might include soup stock day, soup day, baking day, craft day, ironing day, shopping day, cleaning day, trash day and family day.

Seasonal rhythms for us in New England include the harvest, apple picking, applesauce, apple crisp and apple pie making, leaf raking, scarecrow building, pumpkin picking and carving, seed toasting, salve making from the garden's calendula and lavender, gingerbread men baking, snow shoveling, sledding, skiing, bird feeding, seed planting, garden tending, strawberry, raspberry and blueberry picking, preserving and cooking, pesto making, beach going, swimming, kayaking and harvesting the garden through out summer and fall. The food we eat reflects the season with warm comforting soups, stews and roasts in winter, baby greens, peas, lettuce and rhubarb in spring, summer's bounty of fresh vegetables and herbs and the harvest of fruits, grain and vegetables in autumn.

Festivals that we celebrate include Michaelmas, Halloween, All Soul's Day, Martinmas Lantern Walk, Thanksgiving, St, Nicholas Day, Advent and the Spiral Garden , Christmas, New Year's Eve, Epiphany, Valentines, Mardi Gras, Easter and the summer solstice. The stories, songs, finger plays, food and decorations, often from nature, return each year like the seasons, the familiar forces of nature take hold of the earth in a breathing sort of way, a predicable assuring way with a past we can look to and a future to anticipate, with balance and ease.

And so dear reader this ends my first real post. I will continue with more specific elements of how we celebrate the year in future posts, as well as make some musings and meanderings as to the why.