More on Handwork in the Early Years

Oh my goodness, I had no idea that the article I put up yesterday, called Handwork in the Early Years, would spark so much interest, curiosity and personal response. This is a topic of our times.

Notes have come in from all over, some are simple, “Great article, thanks!” “Yes, I totally agree,” and others are more detailed with questions about small motor development, hand-eye coordination, following directions, and how dare I criticize the macaroni necklace and “What’s wrong with Mr. Potato Head,?" as well as questions about the role of beeswax in Waldorf education and, “Are you totally anti-crafting in early childhood?"

I’ll try to answer all of your questions and since there are so many, it’s likely to take a few days.

When I sat down to write yesterday’s piece on handwork in the early years, my intent was to convey three messages regarding children under seven:

1. To advocate for self initiated play and movement over planned pre-determined sit down activities.

2. To reassure parents that their child need does not need to be doing all the crafts seen on social media platforms.

3. To validate that healthy development that takes place in the course of an ordinary day in the home and situate handwork within the “ordinary” everyday activities of home life.

I guess I really missed the mark with my post, and I apologize for that. I suspect I may have generated confusion. Lots of it. So I’ll take the next few days to attempt to clarify what I sat down to convey in the first place.

A warm thank you to each person who wrote to me. I appreciate your comments and willingness to discuss this topic and share different perspectives.

I’ll begin with the question, “Are you totally anti-crafting for the child in the early years?”

I am wholeheartedly for making things with our hands. I love to cook with my hands, garden with my hands, draw and paint, write, knit, sew, give back rubs and massages, hang laundry on the line and fold clothes. I love making toys and puppets. I love to dye fibers. I love the handmade and seek it out over the alternatives. I am all for handwork. It is more of a question of what and when and why and how.

I’m very much for “everything in its own good time.”

The first seven years of life are a time of enormous development for the human being, of faster and greater development than at any other time of life. In the first seven years, the child is developing a physical body, growing organs. The child learns by doing, through activity. The limbs, the arms and legs are nearly always in motion, from the newborn’s turning of the head toward voices and the breast, to the seven year old delighting in tag. The body is in motion. One of our tasks as parent/teachers is to help support the development of the limbs, all the way down to the tip of toes and the fingers, to help the child develop into the body.

Movement is essential. Free self initiated movement. 

When we look at the four foundational senses of the human being, we see movement as one of the four senses that are so important in the first seven years of life. They are:

• Touch
• Life
• Movement
• Balance

Children are spending less and less time in free play and movement and more and more time indoors, in front of screens and on the move, doing errands and going places. Fewer children are around during the day and able to go out and join in play with other children. The ability to play, with free self initiated movement and exploration is getting lost, while anxiety, sensory issues and learning challenges are on the rise.

How many children have enough time each day for free, self-initiated free play, everyday?

Here’s an article by pediatric occupational therapist, Angela Hanscom, via Valerie Strauss of The Washington Post on the importance of play and its decline, The Decline of Play in Pre-schoolers and the Rise in Sensory Issues.

Let the children play!

Keep the rhythm flowing!

If there’s a choice between crafting, and free self initiated play, I’m for play.

If the choice is between crafting and doing something that supports the daily rhythm, like chopping vegetables or kneading bread, I’m for chopping and kneading.

We’re talking about the first seven years of life, for the child.

I am not against crafting at all. I am concerned about what is being displaced by crafting.

(I’ll be back with more on this topic.)

Handwork for Children in the Early Years

today's post is a response to a question on handwork for children under seven, it was originally posted, by me, on March 27, 2011, in my Yahoo group, Waldorf Early Childhood ~ Bringing it Home. It is adapted and edited for clarity of meaning.

Knowing why we do what we do and doing it with intention....not arbitrarily following a theme for the week or the month, but discovering within what resonates, and knowing why, how it serves the developmental picture of the child, is a lesson from one of my mentors, that deeply touched me then and has remained with me through the years.

The Waldorf kindergarten curriculum is based on the seasonal and festival life of the year, the inner and outer gestures of the turn of the year. This is the foundation. 

When it comes to handwork in the nursery and kindergarten years, there are always questions about what to do with the children. We live in a broader culture that values gluing food on paper and making items that have no beauty and no practical use, to show that the children were given something to do, to keep them busy. We see so many images online of crafts.

And we wonder... 

What Handwork to do with the Young Child?
So much with Steiner -Waldorf education is a question of timing, the approach to handwork is based on the developmental picture of the child. You can read more about that bigger picture here.

When we turn to the early years, we can look outside our windows for inspiration, and look within for the inner gesture of the season. What are we experiencing? Expansion? Contraction? Warmth? Cold? Movement? Stillness?

Mother Nature brings a rhythm of her own that the child can experience first hand. There are apples to pick and eat and make things with in autumn, snow in winter, maple syrup in spring and food and flowers galore in summer. Mother Earth provides for her children. There are squirrels to watch, busy gathering nuts, geese flying south, snow falling, snowmen and snow forts to build, birdies building their nests. Nature provides.  Abundance.  Bounty.  Beauty. Inspiration. Movement. Action. Doing.

Crafting is not necessary in early childhood. Crafting is great for parents who want to make toys for the children, decorate for the season or holidays, make gifts, clothing or beautiful things for the home. The work of the adult provides an example of doing, of engaging the will, of process, of completion, for the child to experience inwardly. Don’t sacrifice movement, time in nature and the gift of participating in daily life, daily care of the home, in the name of craft making for the child to do. They’ll be time for that later. Plenty.

On beeswax in the early years. I have come to see how it has become misconstrued and misunderstood. Poor beeswax. The emphasis on beeswax as a staple of the Waldorf curriculum and the forming of particular objects with  putting tops and spots on things, and adding eyes and arms, as if it were a Mr. Potato Head, oh the poor misunderstood gesture, please let that wait. The form is meant to arise from within the whole. And later in the grades, with conscious leading out, of fine art. Read Michael Howard’s, Educating the Will, a wonderful book for a deeper understanding of sculpture and modeling in Waldorf education, as a process of leading out. My personal plea for the beeswax is to let beeswax be the foundation for the fine art of modeling rather than a Mr. Potato Head type craft.

What to do to model and sculpt? Knead dough, make homemade dough. Do fingerplays. Tie shoelaces. Wrap presents. Make bows. Let daily life and practical needs define the activities. Let’s give the beeswax its proper place as a fine art and treat it with respect and care and understanding of its place and important role.

The handwork of under sevens is the homemaking work:

• washing food
• chopping food
• stirring food
• whipping cream by hand
• making yoghurt
• making bread ~ measuring, kneading, resting, forming
• dusting
• washing the table
• washing dishes
• hanging the laundry
• polishing furniture
• mending broken things
• sweeping
• raking
• shoveling
• digging
• watering
• harvesting

This is the handwork of early childhood. 

Add moments for scissors and tape, and homemade play dough and making bundles and tying laces and building from cardboard boxes, what a magical world exists for the young child in there! 

The young child does not have a developmental need to create an end product that is physical, that is the work of the adult. Tying shoe laces, wrapping gifts…the child’s natural inclinations tell us a good deal about the child’s developmental needs.

The child's end product is completing the task, seeing it through, the doing. Buttoning the sweater. Pulling up the zipper. Making good habits that involve the use of the hands. Doing tasks that we do over and over and over again. Every day. This may feel monotonous to us, but to the growing child, it is rich with opportunity to practice and learn through daily life.

It might be putting the boots on the mat, clearing the dishes after a meal, imitating the adult in sweeping the floor after a meal, this is the child living into life with movement and connection to life and to humans, the first connection to other humans.  

If you knit or sew, do woodworking, or other types of work with your hands, your child may want to join you. By all means, gently guide him or her in with simple projects. It may be sewing simple stitches on burlap or fabric from the rag bag. Or hammering nails into a stump. 

If you want to make a gift for someone, this is something the young child may join in or do on his or her own quite spontaneously, and by all means support that.

Just don’t feel you need to set him or her up will all sorts of busy work and craft projects. Let life be the curriculum with the daily work of caring for the self and the home: sweeping, washing, folding, raking, shoveling, harvesting, stirring and chopping, let this meaningful and productive work be the handwork of the young child.

The specific craft projects will come in first grade and a very rich curriculum unfolds in Waldorf education for the child. 

On the other hand, the older kindergarten child, at age 6 and older, maybe ready to join you with craft projects. Rather than set it up for the child to do, let the child come alongside you and initiate joining in. If it involves an apron, have one ready for the child. If the child needs a step to reach the sink, have it available. Have sturdy child size tools, a rake, a shovel for dirt, a snow shovel, have one for each child. No need to tell the child anything, just have the tools out and the child will find them.

What the child mostly needs is the adult to provide time and space to be outdoors with plenty of opportunity for self initiated movement and for daydreaming and boredom for it is in the boredom that the imagination is kindled.

The First Day of First Grade

The first day of first grade is a very special day, it's a threshold day, a crossing from one stage of life to another. It’s a very special day for the child, as well as for the homeschooling parent- teacher.

For Waldorf homeschoolers, the first day of first grade is important as it marks the beginning of a new relationship between parent and child, as well as the start of actual main lessons in which the parent, as teacher, introduces the child to lines and curves, writing and reading, and ultimately to the beauty and wonders of the world. You might like to begin with a verse for the teacher.

I encourage you to take time and create a picture of how you want the day to feel and what you want the day to look like.

Imagine it.

Be with this picture you have created in your mind, the mood you want to bring, and give special attention on how you will convey this on the first day of school. Let it unfold in your mind.

Give yourself time to practice how you will introduce yourself as “teacher," and the process of home education that will unfold, so that you are fully ready and comfortable in your role as authority and teacher.

Perhaps you’ll have a picture on the chalkboard as well as a list of what you’ll be doing that day, or maybe images in the list too.

Perhaps you’ll make your child’s favorite food for breakfast, or put a special flower on the table.

Perhaps you’ll take a picture of your child in front of the house door.

Decide if you want to wear special first day of school clothing, something to mark the day, a little celebration.

Maybe you’ll have your child draw a picture of him or herself. You might do that too, a picture of yourself. Then put it away. Keep these and make the pictures of your child into a booklet for your child at the end of eighth grade, or twelfth grade, if you can pull it off in the high school years too. You can see your growth as well, in your self portraits, as well as your child's growth and development through the years.

After your special breakfast or special table, you might light your candle and “open” the day together with this verse from Rudolf Steiner for Grades 1-4, used in Waldorf schools around the world and as you do, you can remind yourself that Waldorf education was begun to educate the child and for bring about social reform. You are not alone with your endeavors as a Waldorf homeschooler, you are part of an worldwide movement, not only to educate children but make the world a better place for all, out of human freedom. Keep that in mind.

THE MORNING VERSE 

The Sun with loving light

Makes bright for me each day.

The soul with spirit power

Gives strength unto my limbs.

In sunlight shining clear,

I reverence, O God

The strength of humankind

Which Thou so graciously,

Hath planted in my soul.

That I will all my might

May love to work and learn.

From thee comes light and strength,

To thee rise love and thanks.

You might follow it with a talk, the first grade talk, suggested by Rudolf Steiner, about learning all different sorts of things, from others, how to write and read, to count and calculate with numbers, maybe a little sweet tidbit about your own experience of first going to school. 

"It is very important that you should speak to the children somewhat in this vein: “You have come to school, and now I am going to tell you why you have come to school.” This act of coming to school should immediately be drawn to their attention. “You have come to school in order to learn something. You have as yet no idea of all the things you will be learning in school, but there will be all sorts of subjects that you will have to learn. Why will you have to learn all sorts of different things in school? You no doubt know some adults, some grown-up people, and you must have noticed that they can do things that you cannot do. You are here so that one day you will also be able to do what grown-ups can do. One day you will be able to do things that you cannot do yet.” It is most important to work through this network of thoughts with the children.” ~Rudolf Steiner

Of course as homeschoolers, we are more likely to say, “We are beginning our lessons,” or “We are beginning our home study, or our home schooling. ” Whatever words resonate with you to describe the process of learning at home.

Give your child just one new item. Save the flute and the knitting needles, yarn and such for later. Begin with what you need to use on the first day only, and then over the days and weeks and months, you’ll have time to create a story to introduce the flute, and the knitting and the other supplies you are going to present to your child. You might even hold off on the beanbags and introduce them on the second day to have something new on day or even week two. 

When we hold back and introduce materials one at a time, we have the opportunity to make each one special and create joy and interest in the new material as well as in using it. It helps us to appreciate what we have, and feel grateful. This builds the foundation for gratitude and reverence. More about the gift of anticipation here.

If you have already begun and introduced them, no worries, you can re-introduce them in time and create a very special story context for presenting to your child, to make the materials you are working with special and appreciate. You might talk about the bees and the wax they make that is in the crayons.

Show your child where the school materials belong. Be sure to take good care of your own supplies and put them away with care each day, and lead your child to do the same, by your example.

Now are you ready with your circle and first Main Lesson for the first day of first grade?

Blessings on your school year!

Something New for Back to School

Oh I am so excited for these gems...

 Look at what came in the mail!

My first beeswax crayons were the block versions of these and oh how I loved them and love the bits that remain of them.

 I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to have come across the stick version of these crayons. I suspect they are back on the scene after an absence.

They are such sturdy crayons with beautiful pigments. They are exquisite for blending colors.

Go easy on me. Before you tell me, they are not made of huge quantities of beeswax, I know. No one is claiming they are. I love them as they are.

I am leery of soy in crayons, as it is one of the most GMO contaminated crops, and has a host of other issues.

My rationale is that the paraffin wax in these Lyra, as well as Stockmar crayons for that matter, is not being created for the crayons, it is a product that already exists as a by product and it being used in the crayons as an afterthought.

Back to Homeschool Preparations

The winds of autumn are blowing and bringing respite from the heat of summer, bringing fresh thoughts and fresh energy for a new year of home learning.

Working on the details of homeschooling preparation...

 Aren’t they beautiful?

 I just love the colors and they aren’t even on paper - yet.

Are you back to school or moving in that direction?

how to clean beeswax crayons here 

Celebrate the Rhythm of Life 

Harmonious Rhythms ::   Soulful Parenting with the 3C's :: Waldorf Homeschooling

September’s eCourse is Love Your Days :: Establish Healthy Home Rhythms

join here

On Love

seen in the village…

Yes.

Who could resist.

Cooking with home grown and locally grown food feels even more infused with love.

We’re talking about the kitchen over on Creating a Family Home and it’s still possible to jump in.

Hello Summer!

Summer came with great momentum this year and now we are fully in it, days thick with warmth and humidity while the table is sweet with the fruits of summer.

Thunderstorms and sun showers have become regular visitors.

The warmth of spring was so slow to arrive, awaiting we were, in March and April, with crocuses and daffodils eventually pushing through and blossoming, weeks later than usual this. Once they blossomed, it was as if the flood gates were opened and the water poured out and keeps on pouring.

The forsythia followed, then the lilacs followed by the day lilies. The irises followed. Then the chives blossomed, providing pink bids for vinegar. More intense flavor with garlic scapes and radishes followed by baby carrots and lettuces. Then came the strawberries, which we “shared” with the rabbits.

The bee balm is uncharacteristically late in its blossoming. The little plants were eaten up by “our" fat furry woodchuck who loves to eat the black eyed susies. This is the first year he, or she, whatever it is, with no babies to be seen this year, it may be a "he"… This is the first time a woodchuck has eaten the bee balm.

This morning the fat woodchuck devoured a cabbage before our eyes, bold little fellow. He has been trying to get at the hens or their food. Any suggestions for ridding ourselves of this fat furry creature that does not involve bodily harm to it?

We see fireflies flitting around at night. The rain opens up in big ways too. The lower vegetable garden has flooded twice this summer, that is except for the potatoes. It hasn’t flooded like this since Hurricane Irene swept through these parts.

The herbs have been very happy this year. The nettles came and they are taller than ever. The valerian is going to seed. I worried about the oregano succumbing to the cold of winter, as it had a slow awakening. Now we have a full bed of baby oregano. The lemon balm and catnip are everywhere and happy. Saint John’s Wort has made its appearance in a few spots. There’s mugwort and motherwort too.

How’s your summer been?

Children and Household Work

How Do We Bring Them In?

A few points to keep in mind when you are seeking to involve children in the work of the household are: it may take longer than you’d like, it may get messy, much messier than when you do it on your own (and let the extra clean up be done joyfully too!) and it will make a difference in their lives, as well as in the life of the household.

Meaning, Purpose, Belonging
The contribution by children to the work of the household gives them a sense of meaning and purpose as well as a feeling of belonging. They learn that we all care for our home. With young children we do the work and make it inviting. We encourage them to come to it without demanding it by doing it joyfully, by making it delicious and inviting. Children imitate what is around them. Through repetition, daily work becomes part of their life, it becomes a healthy habit.

The young child, from birth to around the age of nine, learns primarily through imitation of the world around him or her. Whatever is happening in the child’s presence will be deeply absorbed by the child.

Have you seen the movie, Like Water for Chocolate? The opening scene with the onion? And then the results with the food, how deeply it touches everyone? The mood we are in when we do our work imbues whatever we are working on, as well as the environment, and becomes the feeling absorbed by those who experience it.

Sometimes and usually at some point, for some amount of time, not necessarily the entire task, children do join in for they are creatures of imitation and long to be close to us, to be  like us and do as we do, particularly strongly around the ages of three to five. Sometimes the child does not join in. That’s okay. Either way, the child  is experiencing the work habit deep within, by being in the presence of an adult who is doing productive work in a joyful mood repetitively. A child who does not imitate you at all may need some help to do so.

Simple Tools

In the olden days, someone was always doing work by hand: mending, hammering, sewing, digging, chopping something. Today we must consciously incorporate working with our hands in daily life if we want to do this type of work with the children. Provide child size tools that are solid and work: a broom, a small rake, a small snow shovel, a good small garden shovel. You can unscrew and remove the upper handle of a carper sweeper to make it child size if you have carpets to sweep. Let them do real work with real tools.

Whip cream by hand, make butter in a jar, make your own your own yogurt, develop your own sourdough culture and knead your bread. Try making butter in a jar by shaking fresh cream. These are a few ways we can bring hand work to the kitchen.

Don’t feel like it is only in the kitchen and with the household chores that this kind of work can take place. I mention them because it is where many of us spend a good deal of time, cooking, cleaning and caring for the home.

Whatever is your passion, if you are an outdoors type and love to build with wood: fences, benches, house repair, whenever a child is around, do what you can by hand, sand by hand, drill by hand, pound nails with a hammer. The work you do with your hands creates an atmosphere that deeply nourishes your child.

Finish the Job
Remember to finish one task before going on to something else. It is better to do one task by hand, one simple task and complete it than begin many and let them linger, with no completion in sight. The completion of a task helps develop the will. Children can develop good habits overt time through imitation, which will pay off when they have the skills to do the work and contribute, in the family and later way down the road in their own lives. When we do less outside of the home, we have more time to be present in the tasks of homemaking with children. 

It is our WILL forces that we use to engage ourselves and our children. Children are all arms and legs, "show me what to do” and they will do it by our ACTION, our mood, our gesture.

Make it Easy 

I've used gates to keep the children in the kitchen and play area so the children are where I can see them.  I wear aprons for cooking, baking, cleaning and gardening. I encourage them to participate with their own aprons, a place to step up to the sink, these have varied over the years, a chair, an inverted wooden box, a crate, a step stool and jobs of their own, tasks of their own: drying, washing the table, setting the table...

In cultivating the will and the habit life the most important piece is to do the same chores in the same sequence each day and each week. After we eat, we clear the table, we wash the dishes, we sweep the floor….Repetition.

Songs, Verse and Nursery Rhymes

Songs, verse and nursery rhymes that are specific (for you) to your daily and weekly tasks can help ease a child into joining, make it familiar and inviting. I’ve written about nursery rhymes here.

Presence
"This is the way we sweep the floor, sweep the floor, sweep the floor so early in the morning…"

The next time you sweep the floor, wipe the table, or do another repetitive task, bring conscious awareness to your gesture, of what is the mood conveyed by your movements as you sweep or wipe. Ask yourself, “Am I sweeping rhythmically and with love for my work?" Or is it “let’s get this off the floor and be done with it?” To be honest, we all do both, depending on the circumstances and we all have the freedom to decide which one we want for our child to experience.

Mother Goose
Mother Goose nursery rhymes are a great resource for the early years from birth, even good up into the grades, but especially good in the early years, from birth to age seven or so. Here are few nursery rhymes, rhythmic verses you may already know to accompany the work you do.

For Chopping

Chop, chop

Choppity chop

Cut off the bottom

And cut off the top

What we have left,

We'll put in the pot

Chop, chop

Choppity, chop

At Tea Time

~ a nursery rhyme

Polly put the kettle on, Polly put the kettle on,

Polly put the kettle on, we'll all have tea.

Sukey take it off again, Sukey take it off again,

Sukey take it off again, they've all gone away

For Pancake Making

~ a nursery rhyme

Mix a pancake,

Stir a pancake,

Pop it in the pan;

Fry the pancake;

Toss the pancake,

Catch it if you can

In Short 

:: Keep the same sequence of chores, in the day, in the week

:: Imbue it with love and care

:: See it through

:: Sing as transition to the task, sing through the task

:: Remember the saying, "if they can walk, they can work"

::

This post is an adaptation of a response I wrote for the Yahoo Group I moderate, Waldorf Early Childhood ~ Bringing it Home. The group has gone rather quiet over the years.  I closed the archives when I became aware that my words were being paraphrased on another site offering a “new” early childhood curriculum, with no mention of where it came from. At first I was upset that my material had been used with no credit to me, and now after some time has passed, I take it as a compliment that my work is valued, is going out into the world, and is touching the lives of children and the future. 

Every now and then, I’ll share one of my posts from the Yahoo group archives with you here. While that group has seemingly gone to sleep, I still guide parents, homemakers, homeschoolers, and even unschoolers in establishing rhythm and other aspects of parenting and homeschooling through my eCourses, my Living Curriculum Program and Phone Consultations.

If you’d like to work with me and focus more on your daily, weekly and seasonal rhythms in a warm, wonderful and and wise community, consider joining my 8 week eCourse in June and July, Get Organized :: Sketch it Out! or if you’d like to focus intensively on your daily home rhythms, how to practically put into place harmonious rhythm and routine for living day to day, join my eCourse 30 Days to Rhythm, When Less is More :: Rhythm Boot Camp for the month of September. Between those two courses, in August my eCourse offering focuses on Creating a Family Home in reflection on the mood and practicality of our living spaces in preparation for the homemaking, homeschooling year.

All three of of these eCourses are designed to support you to establish your home rhythms, the first in planning out the homemaking, homeschooling year the second in organizing the physical space in your home and the third for 30 days of hands on doing, actual practice, step by step support in establishing home rhythm and routines through the month of September.

©Celebrate the Rhythm of Life 2009-2024

All content is copyright protected. Unauthorized use and/or duplication without express and written consent is strictly prohibited.  Links are welcomed and encouraged, provided that clear credit is given to Celebrate the Rhythm of Life and a direct link is provided.

Parenting - Is Compliance or Connection the Way to Go?

Q & A with Lisa

Dear Lisa,
I heard somewhere in the Waldorf world that teaching children compliance is important. 

It makes me wonder because there are so many stories among friends of children who are unable to stay in classrooms and sometimes even in a school because they don’t listen to the teacher and won’t do what is asked of them. 

Is that what we need to focus on in the early years? I try to make my son behave, he is 3 years old, but he is so strong willed and has such a mind of his own that it is impossible most of the time, he just won’t listen to me. What am I missing?

Muddled Mama

Dear Muddled Mama,

Thank you for bringing forth this very important question.

Your question helps us to reflect and shine light on a very important aspect of parenting, our expectations of the child and what those expectations are based on.

We all want to get along and have the "harmony rainbow” experience of childhood: beautiful toys, time outdoors, lovely songs and time together.

Yet if we are honest with ourselves, this is not always the case. We may have our moments of bliss or even days of bliss and then it happens, whammo! the behavior that takes us by surprise and leaves us speechless.

Young children give us the opportunity to grow and learn more about ourselves and the world if we can just take a deep breath, that deep breath of parenting, all the way to our toes and re-focus. (it’s like free psychotherapy, always available to every parent throughout childhood)

Is this particular behavior, in this particular moment, the issue? Is that where we need to go, where we need to focus, to help our child grow into a healthy human being? Or might it be a signal to look at the big picture?

I’m going to take what may be the less popular stance and say, it’s not about fixing the behavior in the now, but about gaining a  deeper understanding of the behavior, about what is beneath the behavior. It is likely that what is being called for through the behavior may need regular attention over time.

(the feeling it triggers in us in the moment, that is a real feeling and alive in the now, yet often triggered by something in our own past, a good topic for another day)

A child’s behavior, and our response or reaction to it, offers us a clue to something more, something else going on within the child, within us or within the child’s environment. When a child exhibits behavior that concerns us it is an invitation to:

Look look a little deeper

What about compliance? I always think of it as a sort of forced behavior, being made to comply. With echoes of the “Do as I say, not as I do,” approach.

Let’s look at the word compliance.

Compliance is defined by the Oxford English dictionary a:

"The state or fact of according with or meeting rules or standards"

Compliance defined as being in a state of according with, meaning being in agreement with rules and standards.

Hmmnnn… rules and standards are ways of being that are imposed from the outside in. Sometimes rules and standards are very abstract. The child’s relationship to rules and standards is that they are imposed from without.

So where do we go from here?

Let’s look at the unfolding child, the developmental picture of the child...

The first seven years of life are a time of creating an environment and a relationship with the child that supports actions on the child’s part from the inside out. We work on rhythms to make life feel secure and predictable, from the inside out.

We work on the environment and of creating a feeling that the world is good by doing something for the child that the child cannot yet do for him or herself, we filter out the concerns of the adult world, the media and stress that constantly bombards us.

We work on the relationship with our child, to be in the position of parent, of authority based on a hierarchy of parent knows best.

Out of this relationship, we have the ability to parent our children. 

How do we help a child act from the inside out?

Begin by trusting yourself and going back to your relationship with your child.

The most important factor is our relationship with the child, that it is an hierarchical relationship. When we are as Gordon Neufeld describes in “right relationship” with the child, a relationship of being your child’s "best bet" that occurs when we step into our big shoes as the parent, children want to come along, to be good, out of an inner drive of belonging, out of relationship, out of “we” do this now.

When the child’s behavior is out of sorts, the first step is to look at our relationship with our child rather than at the behavior, what is going on with our child, is our child in right relationship with us? For this relationship, this natural attachment of child to parent, this relationship provides the context for parenting. Without it, there is constant struggle.

What supports this relationship, these natural attachment instincts? 

What do children need to fall into attachment with their parents?

Time

Time to develop at a child’s pace.

Family Meals

A ritual of coming together to share food each day as a family, as a group of people who belong together.

Home Life

Slow and simple daily life that allows for the healthy, traditional unfolding of children. 

Play

Plenty of time to initiate free play, indoors and out.

Family Time

Rituals and routines of home life, daily shared meals, special shared activities like big breakfast on the weekends, shared stories, cooking together, playing games together, singing, prayers, blessings.

You are not missing anything at all dear mama.

Celebrate the Rhythm of Life 

Harmonious Rhythms ::   Soulful Parenting with the 3C's :: Waldorf Homeschooling

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Spring is in the Air and a Give Away

The birds are singing, the buds on the tree branches are swelling, and the sunlight is grower stronger and warmer with each passing day. Here at Celebrate the Rhythm of Life, I am delighting in the experience the stirrings of spring and embrace the changes inherent to this season.

I am so excited for the new formatting of my program Celebrate the Rhythm of Life :: Living Curriculum Program. The material is easy to access and the forum is warm and intimate for conversation. Each month it gets a little tighter.

Each month in the Living Curriculum Program, I include nature projects, stories, articles, recipes, circles, finger plays, movement games and crafts to enjoy during this season of , and I hope that those of you who are members will make yourselves a cup of tea and pull up a cosy chair to settle in and savor the materials and conversation.

Some Changes

I am polishing up the Primer :: A Guide to Waldorf Kindergarten in the Home, that will be included with the curriculum instead of repeating the tutorials each month, it will provide for members a singular place to go that covers all the essential elements of early childhood.

In response to your requests, I am organizing the curriculum to make it available in PDF packets in a format of 12 Weeks of each season, Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter, with recordings of all the circle work, finger plays and movement games for each week available for you to learn and download with ease as well as videos to help you find you way. 

How it Started

I was inspired to begin this program five years ago, after many requests form within the Waldorf online community. So many questions came up over and over again in discussion groups. What is Waldorf really about? How come I can’t figure out this rhythm thing? Which stories to tell? When to tell them. What if I have more than one child? How do I have a harmonious family meal? How do I get dinner on the table after a long hard day? How do I settle my child for bed at night without exhausting myself? How do I do wet on wet watercolor painting? Do I need to do circle at home? Is Waldorf homeschooling the same as being in a school? How is different?

It was clear to me that I wanted to provide more than a package of materials to download for each month. I wanted this to be an active program to explore together and support the journey of parents and the path of parenting in community and to remind each of us of our own deep wisdom and to encourage  a letting go of the fear of not getting it right, or messing up. Or worse the fear of messing up our children.

I wanted it to be a place, a space online to gather and celebrate the joy of life, as well as find comfort and solace in knowing that parenting can be a struggle, and out of that struggle comes so much growth for us, as parents.

This little program has grown over the years and I am so grateful for all who make it successful, the members who show up and contribute, the guest speakers, the quiet ones who send me an occasional note, and the stories of family life and children that help us all to see, we are “normal” we are perfectly imperfect, our children will be fine and we will come through these years with more laughter than tears.

eCourses

To help make it an active and engaging living program, each month I offer an eCourse on one aspect of life as a homemaking or homeschooling parent. These include Rhythm Boot Camp, Storytelling, Warmth, Cooking, Meal Planning, Discipline, Painting and Coloring, Sketching it Out, Gratitude and more. I am always open to requests and suggestions for these eCourses.

This spring I am offering a series of eCourses to help deepen our connection to the season, to the place where we live, to ourselves and to our children, through noticing the sacred, stepping into our big shoes as parents, and creating magic from what is already there in front of us, and gaining confidence to tell simple puppet stories mades with bits from our own hands.

My Offerings for Spring

February: When Less is More :: Create Sacred Space

We plunge into our own inner sacred space as well as the sacred spaces of our home, with an early spring cleaning, a de-cluttering and opening up of space in which to invite the sacred in. We’ll explore the manifestation of the sacred in everyday life. This eCourse goes until March 27 as we move through our homes, de-cluttering and creating sacred space.

March: Limits and Boundaries :: Gentle Aspects of Rhythm

We’ll look more deeply into rhythm and go to the roots of limits and boundaries, of our own relationship to them and how to bring healthy limits and boundaries gently, with love and warmth, in a way that nurtures everyone and sidesteps the power struggles of parenting.

April: From Sheep to Story :: A Tale of Wonder

In April, we’ll work with fleece right off the sheep and learn how to weave tales of wonder from this magical fairy wool.

May: Imaginative Play in Childhood

This month we’ll explore play, what it is an what it is not. We’ll focus on ways to encourage imagination and create the space for free and imaginative play for our children, both indoors and out.

The Give Away

In honor of all parents who struggle with discipline, I am hosting a giveaway this weekend for one place in the eCourse, Limits and Boundaries :: Gentle Aspects of Rhythm here and one place in the Living Curriculum Program for March, the monthly program includes curriculum + eCourse.

To enter, please like and share the post on Celebrate the Rhythm of Life’s FaceBook page. If you have friends who may be interested in the course of give away, tag them in the comments. If you blog and would like to share news of this giveaway and a link to this page, that counts as two entries.

Return here to the comments below and make a comment for each blogpost, like, share and tag you make. The more you like, share and tag, the more entries you have.

The winner will be announced Monday before noon.

 Check back here to see if you are the winner.

Good Luck!

::

The winners are:

eCourse Limits and Boundaries :: Gentle Aspects of Rhythm: 
Mama Ruck
"Liked and shared, thank you"

For the March Curriculum + eCourse:  
Becky Peak-Marquez

"Liked and shared; what a lovely giveaway!”

Mama Ruch and Becky, please send me your email address at: lisaboisvert(at)yahoo(dot)com and I’ll invite you into the course

Thanks to all who participated!
Check back at the end of March for another give away!

Rhythm or Routine :: What's the Difference?

Is there a difference between rhythm and routine?

Whenever there's a gathering of parents and a discussion of rhythm, this question always seems to come up. Someone asks, "What's the  difference between rhythm and routine, aren't they the same thing?"

Well yes and no. Sometimes they look alike and sometimes they do not.

Let's look more closely...

Rhythm is dynamic, it changes.

Dynamic, according to Google dictionary:

"adjective
     1. (of a process or system) characterized by constant change, activity, or progress."
       "a dynamic economy"

When I started this blog I began by explaining its title Celebrate the Rhythm of Life, in a post, by writing about rhythm:

 "Rhythm is movement, flow, pattern, form, pulse, cadence. Rhythm is a place between polarities, that of being stuck and rigid on one end and that of flowing wildly… here

Rhythm involves movement and energy. Rhythm changes, yet it contains patterns and form. Night and Day. Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall. Maiden, Mother, Crone. 

Rhythm is connected with life forces. Some are outside of us, forces of nature, beyond our control, yet familiar patterns. We can respond to these forces by flowing with them, in the rhythm of life.

Breathing in and breathing out, these words describe the energy  forces of breathing, a contraction (breathing in)  and an expansion (breathing out) - a movement and a flow, that changes with time and situation. Active play. Quiet rest. Running hard. Catching our breath. The coherence of hearts beating together. 

All life has rhythm.

Our bodies are enlivened by their rhythms: in our breathing, in our sleep patterns with circadian rhythms, in our digestion, in our energy levels during the day, in our biological clocks, in the menstrual cycle. Our rhythms change with time.

The earth has its rhythms of expansion and contraction.

The planets have their rhythms, each one has its unique orbit through the cosmos.

Rhythm is like a dance, in motion, breathing in and out, changing, full of energy.

Let's look at the Google definition of routine:

Routine
"noun
1. a sequence of actions regularly followed; a fixed program."
"I settled down into a routine of work and sleep"

Routine on the other hand is static. It is not full of life or energy. Routines are like lists or habits. There is no energy or movement in routine. 

Yet we need both rhythm, for the movement, the patterns, the flow of life and we need routines, for the routines give us comfort and security. They give us predictability and certainty to rely on. Routines are simply repetition of the act informed by rhythm. Routine is often reflected in a sequence of activities. 

Repetition makes the activities we do predictable for ourselves and for our children. When we have a regular soup night each week, it's easy to plan, for I know when I am grocery shopping that I need ingredients for soup night. When I have a regular day to give the fridge a quick one over and sort out what needs composting, I know what's in there, so then when I'm are at the market, I know if we have carrots or not. These little routines, meal plans, bedtime routines, waking routines, morning routines, after school routines, these habits that are repeated give us ease and calm. 

Children thrive on predictability. For the child, the repetition, the predictability of routine makes life trustworthy and secure. When we are able to be consistent and repetitive, children trust us, they come to know that we mean what we say, that they can count on us to be true to our word. When children know what comes next, they are able to ease through transitions. They experience life as good. 

"Routine is to a child what walls are to a house: it gives boundaries and dimensions to his life… It is the obligation of the parents to set up a routine within which the family can function comfortably; to establish and maintain a daily order and let the children fall into line."  ~ Rudolf Dreikurs

When our rhythms are responsive to the energetic needs of the moment, of the child, of the family, of the year, then we can feel it, we are in a flow and it is the repetitiveness of what flows that helps carry the day, the week or the year. This is why rhythm feels so hard sometimes, because we are alive, life is alive, it is always in motion. Rhythm is about riding the wheel of life's motion in a way that brings balance to our lives, as individuals and as families. That reminds us to create the space for calm, soothing time with nothing to do. It is also rhythm that urges us to dress up and go out in the cold and snow to build a snowman. Whew! It's big stuff.

Rhythm and routine (or repetitiveness) need each other. 

For example, I might look at my child's diet and feel like I need to bring more nutrient dense foods into his daily eating with more protein foods in his diet, in meals and snacks, because I observe that he is growing rapidly and that he often reaches for sweets when he seems to be hungry, while I am suspecting he  needs more protein rich foods. This is a growth rhythm, a change that come out of growing needs.

So I look at the flow of the day and our routines and decide to add a daily snack that is protein rich, like yoghurt and nuts. Then I look at what we eat for breakfast and  decide to add eggs to our breakfast three days a week.

It is out of the rhythm of life, out of my child's growth spurt, that I see the need for protein. This is something dynamic and likely to change at some point. Growth spurts, by their very nature, come and go. The need is different than what it was before. 

The routine element comes in when I add yoghurt and eggs to my meal plan of what I intend to prepare each week. It's a list and likely to become a habit, based on the living needs of a particular child within the dynamic of the family. 

Another example, let's say you know your child comes home from school tired and wound up. You know that some time alone while changing into play clothes, followed by quiet time and a warm cup of soothing tea, and then a bite to eat, snuggled up with you on the sofa, will help bring your child back to a place of calm and a feeling of being energized. So you make this a priority in daily life, to have this time for your child to settle back at home after school.This is rhythm and routine, working together with the energy of the situation, in this case a pulling in, or a gesture of contraction imbued with warmth, setting the environment to create a predicable routine that serves the energetic needs.

We can easily slip into our habits of routine. The gift of living with rhythm in our consciousness, our conscious awareness of the energetic aspects of our days, is that we can adjust and make changes and decisions that are based on putting our awareness of what is needed into action.

Rhythm imbues routine with vitality, with life energy. They need each other. 

For me, this is what rhythm is about and how rhythm is distinct from routine.

Waldorf in the Home :: Meal Planning

Weekly Rhythm :: The Meal Plan

9 February 2015

If you are a Waldorf parent, it’s likely that you’ve heard of the importance of rhythm, either at a parent evening at school or in the world of Waldorf online. 

If you are new to rhythm, or it still feels a little mysterious to you, you can read more about different aspects of rhythm in the home here.

Rhythm is an approach to organizing our lives that includes familiar routines as well as a sensitivity to the energetic rhythms of our bodies, the seasons and of our own season in the rhythm of life.

One of my favorite aspects of rhythm is weekly meal planning. I love to cook and garden and could easily spend the whole day working on our meals, if I did not have anything else to do. 

But alas, I have lots of other things to do, homeschooling my sixth grader and working on the living curriculum program I offer as well as homemaking, caring for animals, gardening, handwork, getting us all outside everyday, volunteering, well you know, the days are quite full with children.

That’s where the weekly meal plan helps me. Over the years I’ve had a fall back weekly rhythm for my meal planning and it is so helpful for the times when the thought of what to make for dinner just puts me on overload. And I love to cook.

My Weekly Rhythm Meal Plan

Mondays I make beans and rice and turn them into chili, burritos, enchiladas, tacos or nachos. Leftover beans may turn used with heuvos rancheros for breakfast or bean dip with afternoon tea.

Tuesday, I lean on Thai dishes, something I learned to make when we lived in the equatorial Pacific, or Stir Fry. In the summertime, for one of our favorite Thai dishes, I grow long beans, Thai basil and round white eggplant. Other wise with stir fry, I chop whatever vegetables I have and stir fry them with lots of ginger and garlic. I’ll add nuts and herbs if I have them.

Wednesday is pasta day in our kitchen. In the winter I like to bake pasta, with lasagna, baked ziti or my version of the classic macaroni and cheese. Pasta is the only analog food my gluten free child eats. 

Thursday is my challenge. I tend to lean on leftovers or the slow cooker on Thursday. On Thursdays I want comfort food, foods like chicken pot pie, shepherd's pie or a casserole. It can be tricky to prepare them though. That's where the slow cooker, leftovers, lasagna or a dish from the freezer comes in handy.

Friday is our Pizza and family movie night. (My children are 12 and over) I go through phases of making my own alternating with take out. I slip in some winter greens, like arugula with hopes of vegetable-izing the meal.

Saturday might be leftovers or casserole. I grew up with beans and franks and brown bread on Saturdays. I have tried making my own brown bread. 

How to Meal Plan

1. Begin with what your family likes to eat and what you like to cook

2. Look in your pantry, cupboards, freezer
3. Consider the rhythm of your week. Plan something easy on days when you or family members are out for the afternoon or have evening plans. Leftovers, the slow cooker or breakfast for dinner can save the day. 

4. Sketch it out

Once meal planning becomes a habit, you will be able to walk through it in your mind at the store and gather what you need pretty easily.

For children, familiar meals and specific nights, like “Pasta Night” or “Pizza Night” become something they can anticipate with comfort and joy.

Happy Planning and Eating!

if you meal plan and have a link to your meal plan for this week, 

please share the link to it in the comments below

:: 

If you’d like to join this month’s eCourse, registration is still open
 When Less is More :: Create Sacred Space

Celebrate the Rhythm of Life 

Harmonious Rhythms ::   Soulful Parenting with the 3C's :: Waldorf Homeschooling