Notice that the question is "when" my child resists and not "if" my child resists?"
Children will resist our plans even when they are made with the best intentions at heart. Know dear mama, or dear papa, that you are not alone, and that it is normal. So normal. It happens to all of us.
Deep breath out.
This post is focused primarily on the early childhood years, from birth to age 7, on those moments when children don't want to do what we have planned for them.
You may have sketched out a plan and organized materials and put a good deal of energy into how you want your day to unfold as a homeschooler and then, your child resists and flat out refuses to join you.
It's frustrating, I know. Super frustrating even.
We've all been there, many times. Take a deep breath. Shift gears. Go outside. Fall into your what-to-do-when-it-all-goes-sideways backup homeschooling plan.
Take time and reflect on what is leading up to the resistance. Step back and look at the big picture. What does your child need?
Their resistance is an opportunity to look at ourselves and consider how we do what we do.
What is the mood we are bringing to the activities we want them to join us in? Are we feeling hurried and rushed with an attitude of I-need-to-get-this-done-in-order-to-get-to-the-next-task? They feel it.
Children feel everything and absorb it deeply. They are like sponges with our moods, they often feel them before we are aware of what we are expressing.
Children learn through imitation of what we do ~ so what we do and how we do it is of all importance.
Consider resistance an opportunity to reflect on what kind of energy we are putting out around what we want to do, and how we are inviting our children to join us in.
Am I feeling joyful?
Do I create a warm invitation to be at my side, to put on an apron, to participate with me?
Waldorf early childhood education is different from more mainstream ways in that we don't have a checklist of tasks the child must complete to be homeschooled. We have life as the curriculum and as the parent teacher, our job is to find joy in those tasks and make them inviting.
We can observe our skills of observation to try to understand what our child's behavior is telling us. Often it has nothing to do with what's happen in the moment, and more to do with a bigger need, like needing to run around, needing to play, needing to get out of the cart or grocery cart or needing a cup of tea and a story told to them. This is where tweaking our rhythm can make all the difference.
With Waldorf kindergarten at home, the focus is on making activities like cooking, cleaning, coloring, painting inviting and joyful so that the children want to join us and to ground them in an experience of life is good. I focus on this in my monthly program.
Some children don't want to join us, that's okay.
We go on to the next task whether the children participate or not.
It's more about the adult taking the lead and being consistent and predictable in the way our day unfolds and doing it with real joy that comes from within.
The benefit to the child is observing an adult engaged with their hands in meaningful work/activities. Our tasks work on the child's will forces.
Children need us to be charge of the day, the plan for the day and our own work. In a world that can feel so crazy and chaotic, our children need us to be solid and reliable for them, to lean into us. They also need plenty of time and space to play around us while we work, and join in out of their own freedom.
Our task is to make the "work" so delightful they will want to join in. This includes balancing activities like opportunity for free play and being out of doors with more quiet experiences like hearing a story.
