Lantern Walks in November: a Lovely Tradition

While I grew up Catholic, I didn't know that people celebrated Martinmas and hadn't experienced a lantern walk. I only learned about it when a German friend gathered a small group of friends and suggested we do a lantern walk. We did, and it was lots of fun. Over the years I learned more about Martinmas as a Waldorf festival and have been fortunate to attend and host many lantern walks. When I began working with nursery age children I began using small mason jars to create these little lanterns for smaller hands, rather than the larger ones I had used with the kindergarten and early grades children. We've always used real candles, even with the littles. Children have so few opportunities to experience fire, carry real fire in their little lanterns, that this is a special treat and responsibility at this time of year. I'm not sure what is more fun, the preparation of the lanterns, the streaming light in the dark woods at night or the pot luck afterwards, it's all quite lovely.

Trust and Striving

At some time during our many years of motherhood, it is not unheard of to experience stress and frustration, and sense a wide gap between the vision one had for life as a family and the daily reality of living with children.

Let's take a look at daily life with children. 

Do you have reasonable expectations? 

Are you asking too much of yourself... striving to be chief, cook, bottle washer, seamstress, handwork expert, woodworker, knitter, crocheter and singer?  That is when you are not out planting or harvesting in the garden, or thrifting or blogging? If we hadn't had enough messages to do it all and be it all, social media came along to give us images of what perfection looks like in mothering and family life. Yet we know it's not really like that. We have hard days, hard weeks, hard phases. A typical day may contain moments of joy and frustration for us as well as for our children. And yet we ask so much of ourselves.  

Can you be compassionate with yourself?

First, I want to emphasize the hard work you do - everyday - and acknowledge the sacrifice, self discipline and personal growth that comes with running a household. I am so grateful to my mom for her ceaseless enthusiasm and hard work, thank you Mom! 

It is far more of an effort than a full time job. It's more like three jobs: cook, housekeeper, nanny or driver, oh maybe four and teacher/guide too, and its compensation is not in such a well recognized and highly regarded form in the outer world. No paycheck, no promotions. No time off.

Often it is at that moment when everything is at what seems like the very worst, that our greatest strides are being made ~ of human growth - for we as parents are growing human beings and our children are helping us grow to be more fully human. It is in those dark moments that truths tend to emerge. With trust and striving we find our way back to the table to clean up one more time.

Warmly,

    

Illustration is  A Mother's Days, by Jessie Wilcox Smith, 1902

Getting Started with Waldorf at Home

If you're considering Waldorf homeschooling or wanting to bring Waldorf  into your home life and parenting, there's one step to take, one thing you need to do.

The key to starting and maintaining Waldorf homeschooling, homemaking, and parenting is the same: begin by building a strong foundation of living daily life together, build up a healthy rhythm for daily life. This includes parenting and homemaking. With strong family rhythms for parenting and homemaking, there's more time for homeschooling and incorporating those wonderful Waldorf activities into our lives. 

This foundation first takes into account everyday tasks like laundry, bathing, meal preparation and cleanup, dusting, sweeping, vacuuming, window washing, pet care, face washing, hand holding, and diaper changing  ~ all the caregiving activities that fill our days.

A healthy home rhythm is at the heart of this foundation. Rhythm is the key to a solid foundation. 

Begin by crafting and implementing a rhythm that supports your family's needs. There is no one size fits all with rhythm. The best rhythm for you is the one that serves your family's unique needs. 

While it's true that establishing this rhythm takes self discipline, persistence and patience, a strong home rhythm provides strength, freedom and spaciousness to daily life. A strong healthy rhythm helps carry the day. It takes some effort to get started, and it takes time to build up a good rhythm, once it takes hold, a good rhythm provides a momentum of its own, and frees us to be more present in the moment. 

The saying is true, rhythm replaces strength! 

Warmly,

For more 👇 on rhythm  

What is Rhythm?

Rhythm Waldorf Style

An Inner Experience of Rhythm

One of Those Mothering Things

You know those things that just sort of happen when you become a mom?  I'm talking about habits and daily life with eating, clothing, sleeping. The body shifts, clothes cease to fit in the same way, meals become central and sleep is essential in a way I never imagined it could be. 

I'm an early riser. 

I wasn't before I became a mom.

It just happened, the morning with its freshness became my time. The morning is the quietest time of day. The house is quiet. Everyone is asleep. The animals are still pretty mellow. I have grown to love it so much that I'm still a morning person, and still wake early, even through my children are grown. 

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I became an early riser after I started falling asleep early. During pregnancy, my body just took over, and I began falling asleep shortly after dinner. I also craved cake after dinner, even though I wasn't much of a cake eater before pregnancy. Going to bed early became my new normal, and in turn, I started rising early. It was usually pretty easy, although I've definitely gone through phases where I've had to push myself to maintain an early bedtime. When the children were little, our evenings had a nice flow; I'd put them to bed, take a bath, and read in bed for a while before sleeping.

The teen years brought new challenges, and keeping myself awake at night to be with them was one of them. My early mornings remained because they have become so important to me. It's my time. The day is fresh. It's almost meditative, to take time, make my coffee with care and conscious presence, and enjoy the solitude. It charges me up for the day. 

Over the years of mothering and homemaking, having a good rhythm has helped me enormously and indeed, it has changed many times over the years to accommodate the changes as the needs of my children and family have shifted over the years. A healthy rhythm with young children is different from a healthy rhythm with teens. I've tweaked our rhythm many times over the years.

Yet still rhythm has helped me plan meals, do laundry, take care of housework, and have time, with a feeling of spaciousness to it, to have regular predicable activities with my children. 

It takes time, persistence, and regular adjustments through changes to maintain a healthy rhythm that works. Yet, the rewards are many. Establishing healthy home rhythms has made my life easier, reducing the number of decisions I need to make. A plan that can be put into action helps the days, weeks, and seasons flow more smoothly, creating a sense of spaciousness of time.

I am so grateful for that time. Rhythm has made it much easier to be present in the moment, rather than rushing to get things done with too little time. Rhythm has been so beneficial to me that elements of the routine I established years ago still buoy me along. 

If you find that the days are flying by and you're constantly struggling to catch up, take heart. It is possible to develop a rhythm that meets your unique needs and creates a sense of spaciousness in your days.

Begin by creating a simple morning routine that nurtures you. 

The Child is Born with a Sense of Wonder

 Fifty-five years ago, Woman’s Home Companion published an article from by Rachel Carson called Help Your Child to Wonder:

“A child’s world is fresh and new and beautiful, full of wonder and excitement. It is our misfortune that for most of us that clear-eyed vision, that true instinct for what is beautiful and awe inspiring, is dimmed and even lost before we reach adulthood. If I had influence with the good fairy who is supposed to preside over the christening of all children, I should ask that her gift to each child in the world be a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life, as an unfailing antidote against the boredom and dis-enchantments of later years, the sterile preoccupation with things that are artificial, the alienation from the sources of our strength.

If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder without any such gifts from the fairies, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in.” 

Ways to Keep Alive a Sense of Wonder:

:: Spend time in nature, not with facts. but to experience nature, which will enliven the “sense” of wonder.

:: Take time to be present in the moment.

:: Look up at the sky.

:: Value the daily and the ordinary, “What lovely clouds this morning.”

:: Find joy in the ordinary, in housekeeping and chores, sing or hum as you work. 

:: Find the value and the goodness, in situations that do not work out as planned, ” I wonder if maybe we were meant to take a wrong turn because now we can see the rainbow.”

:: Let children get bored, boredom is the springboard for wonder and great play and projects.

:: Be the example and model wonder, “Gee, I wonder…” “Hmnn…” and wait when a child asks a question.

:: Remember that wonder is all around us and reveals itself to us when we are free of fear, safe and silent.

              “Wisdom begins in wonder.” ~ Socrates

Trust that children know, children are capable of asking questions and finding the answers and trust that it is within you too.

How do you keep your sense of wonder alive? 

The Wisdom of Wonder

 A  little child looks up at the sky and asks, “Mama, why is the sky blue" Mama responds “hmmn…. I wonder.”

There is a pause. The child gets quiet and turns inward. Silence. The child looks up with a knowing smile, “I know, the sky is a blanket for the earth, to tuck it in at night and keep it cozy,” to which to mother nods.

Another child asks his dad, “Why do birds sing?” The dad pauses and responds, “Gee, I wonder…” He waits. The child muses on it for a few moments and comes up with an answer, “I know, it’s their way of talking to each other.”

Children come to understanding through wonder. Curiosity, inquisition, engagement and enthusiasm flow out of wonder and in turn inspire more wonder and understanding. It is this spirit of inquiry that leads to wisdom, the ability to ask a question, hold the question and wait for the answer to come, which leads to more wondering, more enthusiasm and curiosity, a rich and juicy life, full of wonder, awe and wisdom.

Why I Don't Celebrate Candlemas

My reasons are pretty simple.

Breathing time.

I love the Christmas season. 

Our Christmas celebrations begin with Advent, continue through the 12 days of Christmas, on to the Epiphany. I keep Christmas until Candlemas, when the last of Christmas is packed up and put away. 

I like having a breather between Christmas and Easter. It feels like a good outbreath, to relax and sink back into the daily rhythm of life. I find comfort, solace and renewal in the quiet time. That's why I don't celebrate Candlemas. I need the outbreath. 

I do embrace Groundhog day.

It's fun. It speaks to young children. 

Young children anticipate the coming of this special day. We wait and wonder. Will the groundhog come out of his home in the earth? Will it be sunny? If it is, will he see his shadow and scurry back inside? 

We wait to hear the news, to learn whether or not the groundhog has seen his shadow, almost more fun than learning how much winter is left. 

With the littles we go outside and stomp on the earth, telling Mother Earth," it's time to wake up!" 

I like to think of this time of year as the stirring of the year, a stirring that comes from deep in the belly of the earth. Depending on where we live in the northern hemisphere, the earth is beginning to soften, the hens are beginning to lay and the cows are giving more milk. 

We've had celebrations of light since last fall. The light culminated in the birth of the Child of Light. Now, I like to let it be dark and quiet, a sort of post partum period.

As a Catholic, I appreciate the religious aspect of the Churching of Mary, the Churching of women as an ancient postpartum blessing.

As a homeschooler, I like to include Saint Brigid of Ireland in 2nd grade, and revisit her as Celtic goddess Brigit around 7th and 8th grades.

As a midwife, I love everything about Brigid and Brigit. 

Yet I'm not going to make candles indoors in the winter. I don't really get the making of candles indoors in winters. It's too dangerous. If you don't know me in real life, you should know that I'm pretty comfortable with risk taking. However I am not comfortable with the risk of burning down my house dipping candles in the winter. Beeswax, if heated too much, ignites easily. Ask me how I know.

I prefer to dip candles outdoors in summer or autumn. It's much safer that way.

In the reflection that comes with writing this, it's not Candlemas per se that I won't be contemplating. It's making candles central to the day that I'll pass up. It's also the focus on light. We've kindled our inner lights, carried them through the dark to the birth of the Child of Light. The light has become embodied. It's within us. It's time to look within and see what's stirring there. I like the quiet time, to enjoy the dark, and be open to the stirrings within. 

As an old timer Waldorf homeschooler, I have observed new trends arise and take off. Candlemas is one of them. It must be appealing to something within the human psyche. I'm not sure what the deeper meaning is in the grand scheme of the year. There's a lot in there, as the midpoint in the rhythm of the year, right at the midpoint between the winter solstice and the spring equinox, a cross quarter holiday.

There's a long and rich history of celebration of this day with Imbolc, the goddess Brigit, the Churching of Mary, the act of the churching of Mary and what it means for all birthing women, and the Irish Saint Brigid, with her origins in the Celtic goddess Brigit. I can see it as religious, or pagan, or even just a time to dip candles. I haven't quite made sense of how the many different rich aspects of this day weave together and what is the deeper meaning imbued in them. I'll keep pondering it. 

For now I'll  observe and continue to dip candles outdoors in the summer or fall, and think of Candlemas as a day of blessing the postpartum woman and shining the light on the power and glory of childbirth. 

How about you? 

How do you make meaning of Candlemas? 

It's All About Free Play

"Let us look at children’s play from this perspective, particularly the kind of play that occurs in the youngest children from birth until the change of teeth. Of course, the play of such children is in one respect based upon their desire to imitate. Children do what they see adults doing, only they do it differently. They play in such a way that their activities lie far from the goals and utility that adults connect with certain activities. Children’s play only imitates the form of adult activities, not the material content. The usefulness in and connection to everyday life are left out:. ~ Rudolf Steiner

In the Waldorf early childhood years, the focus is supporting children's free play and their unselfconscious activities.

That's why there are no lessons.

No main lessons in the nursery or kindergarten.

No instruction.

No this is how it's done.

No predetermined end product to take home and wow the parents.

It's all about developing the child's inner creative capacity through child initiated free play.

This is why Waldorf schools discourage organized sports, yoga, dance lessons and the like, because they all involve an adult directing the action. This takes children out of the dreamy unselfconscious world of early childhood.

The child between birth and the change of teeth lives in the dreamy inner world of the imagination. This is the world of fairy tales, where anything is possible, transformation happens all the time, and good always conquers evil, in the stories children hear. 

The Waldorf kindergarten is a magical, dreamy place where the teacher works sideways to create a space that invites play. She is not the central figure, but more of a warm, consistent presence, guiding the rhythm of the day. 

It's all about child initiated free play.

If you've ever seen children at play in a Waldorf kindergarten, you've heard the buzz of children at play, seen children engaged in socio-dramatic play, creating scenarios with their imagination and playing them out. Children at play in a Waldorf space transform the objects in the room with their play. This socio-dramatic play is at the heart of the Waldorf kindergarten years. 

When we impose adult ideas for creating a specific product, we are imposing the adult world on children. This is not their world. Their world is one of developing the inner imaginative world and playing out what is in their own inner world. It's a time for curiosity, exploration and playing out their own inner world. This is how children learn. When we impose adult projects, we get in the way of their process. 

You may wonder, what about the watercolor painting and cooking and baking?

What about the crafts? I have written about crafts here.

With cooking and baking, painting, coloring and modeling, the teacher leads by doing. She does not instruct. She guides the children with her doing, and if needed with "pictorial language." There is no expectation of a particular end product.

There is no instruction. The children join the adult in her work, and contribute to the process in a way that allows them to step back into play. At home our children can join us in our work, yet it can be helpful to remember that their work is child initiated and child drive imaginative free play. So they may step up beside us, join in and then return to their play.

In a culture that is so material and end product oriented, we sometimes lose touch with the importance of process. For children, the process is in the play.

As homeschoolers we can create an environment that supports our children in their own free play, and we can craft a rhythm that flows through the day, I know because I was living miles from nowhere during my first child's early childhood and I was determined to provide a Waldorf early childhood experience for him.

After my second child was born, I became a single parent, I wanted to be home with him, and I wanted a Waldorf experience for him, so I began a Waldorf Morning Garden program in my home, a way to earn a living and create a space for other children to join us for a Waldorf experience of early childhood.

You can do it too!

If you'd like to learn more about how to create the "space" to support child initiated free play, and use pictorial language, and craft a rhythm that flows through the day, keep an eye on my curriculum program. I offer affordable eCourses to support parents and homeschoolers on topics such as these, and I am in the process of reformatting my affordable curriculum program to make it more user friendly.

In the Waldorf early childhood years, the focus is supporting children's free play and child initiated unselfconscious activities.

We live in a very material world. It's easy to get caught up in the Waldorf stuff, especially with all the beautiful things that can be bought. 

Yet Rudolf Steiner told us then, "They play in such a way that their activities lie far from the goals and utility that adults connect with certain activities. Children’s play only imitates the form of adult activities, not the material content.  Now it is more relevant that ever. 

They don't need all the stuff, they need time to play, they need the protection and freedom to live in the dreamy world of wonder, of early childhood. 

The children will imitate what we do and how we do it. It is our warmth, our kindness, our finding joy in the everyday, and the quality of stories we tell that spark healthy development of the children. 

What to do when my child resists homeschool activities?

Notice that the question is "when" my child resists and not "if" my child resists?"

Children will resist our plans even when they are made with the best intentions at heart. Know dear mama, or dear papa, that you are not alone, and that it is normal. So normal. It happens to all of us.

Deep breath out.

This post is focused primarily on the early childhood years, from birth to age 7, on those moments when children don't want to do what we have planned for them.

You may have sketched out a plan and organized materials and put a good deal of energy into how you want your day to unfold as a homeschooler and then, your child resists and flat out refuses to join you.

It's frustrating, I know. Super frustrating even.

We've all been there, many times. Take a deep breath. Shift gears. Go outside. Fall into your what-to-do-when-it-all-goes-sideways backup homeschooling plan.

Take time and reflect on what is leading up to the resistance. Step back and look at the big picture. What does your child need?

Their resistance is an opportunity to look at ourselves and consider how we do what we do.

What is the mood we are bringing to the activities we want them to join us in? Are we feeling hurried and rushed with an attitude of I-need-to-get-this-done-in-order-to-get-to-the-next-task? They feel it.

Children feel everything and absorb it deeply. They are like sponges with our moods, they often feel them before we are aware of what we are expressing. 

Children learn through imitation of what we do ~ so what we do and how we do it is of all importance. 

Consider resistance an opportunity to reflect on what kind of energy we are putting out around what we want to do, and how we are inviting our children to join us in. 

Am I feeling joyful? 

Do I create a warm invitation to be at my side, to put on an apron, to participate with me? 

Waldorf early childhood education is different from more mainstream ways in that we don't have a checklist of tasks the child must complete to be homeschooled. We have life as the curriculum and as the parent teacher, our job is to find joy in those tasks and make them inviting. 

We can observe our skills of observation to try to understand what our child's behavior is telling us. Often it has nothing to do with what's happen in the moment, and more to do with a bigger need, like needing to run around, needing to play, needing to get out of the cart or grocery cart or needing a cup of tea and a story told to them. This is where tweaking our rhythm can make all the difference. 

With Waldorf kindergarten at home, the focus is on making activities like cooking, cleaning, coloring, painting inviting and joyful so that the children want to join us and to ground them in an experience of life is good. I focus on this in my monthly program.

Some children don't want to join us, that's okay.

We go on to the next task whether the children participate or not.

It's more about the adult taking the lead and being consistent and predictable in the way our day unfolds and doing it with real joy that comes from within.

The benefit to the child is observing an adult engaged with their hands in meaningful work/activities. Our tasks work on the child's will forces.

Children need us to be charge of the day, the plan for the day and our own work. In a world that can feel so crazy and chaotic, our children need us to be solid and reliable for them, to lean into us. They also need plenty of time and space to play around us while we work, and join in out of their own freedom.

Our task is to make the "work" so delightful they will want to join in. This includes balancing activities like opportunity for free play and being out of doors with more quiet experiences like hearing a story.