Welcome my friends to the first ever Celebrate the Rhythm of Life through the Year in Caring for Children Newsletter! That is the official name of my blog and my program.
Each month I leave bits and pieces of myself and my work all over social media, then I see it show up hither and thither. I’ve decided to pull at least some of it together for you, in one place, at the start of each month.
For the month of December, I have been delighting in the community of my eCourse Simple, Slow and Sacred, a course with a wonderful group of mamas, grandmamas, teachers and childcare providers, exploring ways of slowing down and pursuing the simple life through the holidays.
I received a few please help me! emails this morning, from mamas who are not in the eCourse, asking for suggestions of what to do for the child who is overstimulated and overwhelmed from too much of Christmas, too many lights and sounds or too much of the unfamiliar. Holiday overwhelm can make anyone cranky.
Holidays, winter break, spring break and even summer vacation are all times when we tend to be out of whack with our rhythm and routines of daily life. Just as children thrive on rhythm and routine, children struggle when its absent. The good news is that the solution is simple, slow down, warm up and connect with your daily rhythm.
Here Goes
How to soothe the soul of a child who is suffering from too much stuff, being away from home, too little rhythm, an onslaught of lights and sounds?
1. Go simple. Simple, simple with my mantra - see below.
2. Stir in some warmth.
3. Protect from more stimulation. The Mantra
My mantra for childhood is Eat, Sleep, Play, Love ~ in the Fresh Air.
Lean into my mantra of Eat, Sleep, Play, Love ~ in the Fresh Air. It works for adults too.
:: THE DETAILS ::
Eat
Eat wholesome food. Eat whole food as much as possible. Nutrients matter. The sweets that seem to creep in at the holidays need the wholesome food for balance. Drink plenty of water. (You too!) Keep your mealtimes, keep your mealtime routines, keep it all as consistent as you are able. Eat at the same time each day. Sit down and eat at the table together. If you have particular foods for particular days of the week, such as beans and rice Monday, oats on Tuesday, pizza on Friday, stick with that. If you light a candle, do that. If you say a blessing, do that. Be consistent. Hold up the child's world as familiar and consistent.
Sleep
Keep your child's bedtime and bedtime routines. It's easy to slip out of them at the holidays, especially when traveling. In addition to the value of good sleep and enough sleep, the comfort of the familiar is soothing. Keep your bedtime rituals. If your bedtime routine is bath, jammies, bed, story, prayer, keep the sequence in order. Keep it as consistent as possible.
Play
Be sure to carve out time for free, self initiated play. Clear out the stuff and keep the play area simple. Honor your child's need for quiet self initiated play, with no narrative, no interruptions.
Love
This is for moments of connection through out the day. It's easy to be distracted over the holidays when our home rhythm goes out of whack, or when we travel and are away from home. Take special care to spend time with your child each day. It may be snuggling up in a quiet spot for a story after lunch, or going outside for a walk together, or just taking your child's hand for a squeeze. As Gordon Neufeld reminds us, connect with the eyes, the smiles and the nods of the head.
Remember to make the connection first, with the loving eyes, the warm smile and the nod that says, "I'm with you." Then use the gentle re-direction with the royal we, "We do it like this," or with gentle guidance, "It's time for ____ come along." Let connection be the foundation.
~ in the fresh air
Nature soothes and heals. Spend some time out of doors everyday, filling the bird feeder, taking a walk in the woods, shoveling, checking on a neighbor, running in circles around the house, and looking up at the stars in the night sky.
Stir In
Stir in some warmth in the form of bubble baths, hot tea, hot cocoa, snuggle time, warm soup and fire: with a candle, out of doors, by the fireplace or wood stove, the element of fire is both warming and soothing.
For Next Year
Hindsight is everything. ;-) Consider creating a rhythm for the entire Christmas season, from Thanksgiving to Epiphany, that creates a spaciousness of time, and takes the expectation off the single day.
A Question for the Comments
What soothes your child (or you) when there's just too much going on?
::
Celebrate the Rhythm of Life through the Year :: Tending the Hearth with
Harmonious Rhythms :: Conscious, Creative and Connected Parenting :: Waldorf Homeschooling and Homemaking
If you didn't celebrate Santa Lucia today by rousing your family with a crown of flaming candles on your head, singing songs and carrying a tray of warm coffee and Lucy buns to each family member still in bed, no worries.
It's okay.
You're okay.
You are good enough.
Plenty good enough.
It is a beautiful festival, and for those who celebrate it, wonderful!
For those who do not, it's okay.
In Waldorf schools, the festival of Santa Lucia is typically a celebration that is carried by the Second Grade Class, the grade when Waldorf students spend a good part of the year studying saints and sinners. (Saints and Sinners is a phrase I picked up from Eugene Schwartz of Essential Waldorf.Isn't it a perfect description of what the child is wrestling with at this age?)
The Second Grade Class, sometimes with the help of the class parents with the baking and the clothing adjustments, prepares the goods, learns the songs, appoints a student to serve as Santa Lucia and wear the crown of flaming candles, (for the intrepid, the more cautious use battery lit candles) and then, in the morning, the class sings and serves its way around the school. It's beautiful.
It's a festival that lends itself well to groups.
The kindergarten is sometimes visited, but not always.
It's a festival that meets the particular developmental age of the child.
It's a festival that is celebrated in specific parts of the world.
My dad likes to say, "There's no time like the present." My dad is 89 years old and just spent the weekend cutting firewood. He still works. He's an amazing guy, my dad and I am so grateful for his practical life wisdom, and so much more. I'm grateful to my mom too. She's 87 years old. I've noticed that people seem to go through phases about telling their age. We like to talk about the children's ages, then there is silence with the middle ages, and then all of a sudden wow, 87 and 89 years old, nearly nine decades. It's a badge of honor. My mom and Dad were born into the Depression and have lots of great stories to tell of their experiences of growing up in hard times.
It's Advent Time
If you're reading or hearing about Advent celebrations and saying to yourself, "I want something meaningful, but don't know how to start, maybe it's too late, I can't figure it out..." No worries. You can start now, because, as my dad likes to say, "There's no time like the present."
Begin with a Wreath
Make a wreath of evergreen boughs. Consider the Waldorf tradition of celebrating the light in each of the four kingdoms of nature over the four weeks of Advent. We're in the second week of Advent, it began on Sunday November 27th.
If you can't make a wreath, have no trees around, consider purchasing a simple un-decorated wreath.
This week, the second week of Advent began yesterday with the celebration of the light of plants.
Take a few minutes this week to think about the role of plants in your life. Pomegranates, broccoli, berries, walnuts, pecans, clementines, cocoa for chocolate, garlic, onion, ginger, cinnamon, allspice, nutmeg, carrots, potatoes ~ it's all from the kingdom of plants, along with the evergreens! Send some prayers or vibes of thanks to the light in this nourishing food and to the people and forces that make it possible to eat such goodness from the play kingdom.
Make the Wreath
Look around outside where you live to find evergreen boughs. Consider fir, pine, juniper, cedar, arborvitae. Clip some boughs and fasten them onto a ring. If you don't have a ring, make one from coat hangers or heavy wire, whatever you have handy. Green floral wire hides itself well within the green boughs.
Add four candles. Use simple candleholders. They're inexpensive and usually found at thrift shops. Nestle them within the boughs. If you only have two candles, use them and add two later. I you have only one, use that one until you can add more.
You are going to light one candle for each week. Last week's candle celebrates the light in the mineral kingdom.
Decide when you will light the candles. What time of day will you light the candles? Who will light them? Keeping the same rhythm and ritual with this tradition is powerful over time.
I like to light the candles after dark. Some years we do it just before dinner, and some years we do it after dinner when the house is quiet. This can make a soothing before bed ritual.
Be sure to turn out the lights in the room before lighting the candles, so the glow comes from the wreath. If you light the candles before dinner, you might like to keep the candles burning during dinner.
In some families the youngest child lights the candle for the first week, the eldest child lights the candle for the second week, one parent lights the candle for the third week, the other parent lights the candle for the fourth week. When I was the solo parent with two young children, I lit all the candles every week, until my children got old enough to participate.
Begin with the first light of Advent
Light the candle.
The first light of Advent is the light of stones,
Lights that live in seashells, in crystals and in bones.
Add some elements of the mineral kingdom to your wreath ~ seashells, crystals, gem stones, bones.
Light the second candle.
The second light of Advent is the light of plants,
Plants that reach up into the sun, and in the breezes dance.
During the second week of Advent add elements from the plant kingdom to your wreath ~ I tend to lean towards pinecones, berries, things I can find in the yard.
We have a tradition of singing a Christmas song for each week after we light the candles. Over time one build's up a little repertoire of songs that you sing together as a family. If children scatter first, that's even better, so they're last experience is of the candles lit. (as with the Advent spiral)
Be sure to take care and gently snuff out the candles when you are done. This helps to maintain a mood of reverence for the celebration.
A few of my favorites for singing with the lighting of the candles on the Advent wreath include:
People Look East~ music and words composed by Eleanor Farjeon, words here, you can see the four kingdoms in the lyrics. Her wonderful book Ten Saints is a treasure for teaching Second grade.
My all time favorite resource for the holidays is Mary Thienes Schunemann's booklet, The Christmas Star that comes with a CD recording of her beautiful voice singing all the songs you could wish for at Advent and Christmas and Epiphany, along with tips for celebrating the season. She's a wonderful teacher and inspiration to all of us who seek to bring more song into our homes or classrooms. I feel like she is reaching out from the heavenly realm and continuing her teaching from the other side. More on Mary's life here.
A Gift for You
Last but not least, if you'd like more details on this tradition and support for keeping the 2016 holidays Simple, Slow and Sacred, come on over and join my December eCourse I am offering for free, as a gift to you. It's here. There's no time like the present!
My thoughts have been with the water protectors in Standing Rock, standing strong to protect their sacred ground, their ancestors' burial sites, the water for their children, their land, their treaty rights, the water for everyone, the very well being of the earth. Watching the Native American people stand clear and strong. Standing for all of us. A time for healing and change. Urging the people and the leaders of the United States to find our identity as a nation, to clarify what this country stands for, and who it is about and act.
It's an unsettling time, and yet a time ripe with hope and potential. A little bit like transition when a woman is giving birth.
The first light of Advent is the light of stones, lights that live in seashells, in crystals and in bones.
Advent is a season in itself, a season of anticipation. The very word "Advent" has in its roots "ad" meaning towards + "venir" to come. Coming towards. Advent is a season of "coming towards." Of anticipation. Of quiet waiting.
It reminds me of my midwifery work in which the first trimester of pregnancy is known as The Period of Adjustment, the second trimester as The Period of Radiant Health and the third trimester as The Period of Watchful Waiting. These come from Helen Varney of Varney's Midwifery.
Advent is like the third trimester, we are in The Period of Watchful Waiting. A time of quiet anticipation. Waiting for what is to come. As the world is waiting, and praying, for what will come at Oceti Sakowin. Women and healing work at Otceti Sakowin here, scroll down.
Inner work is a wonderfully helpful, sometimes challenging "bonus" that comes with parenting, teaching and homeschooling. We get to know ourselves by noticing who we are in challenging situations: how we respond or react, how we show up or disappear, how we reach out or retract, how we feel energized or drained, how we care for ourself in daily life.
Sometimes the awareness comes out of a situation, other times it comes out of focused attention and presence.
Inner wok can be defined as the work that we do on ourselves, of getting to know the self, our self. There are many types of inner work.
Lynn Jericho speaks of inner work in this Interviewwe did together, over on The Wonder of Childhood, in which she said, "Put some of your energy into knowing yourself and do this with intentional rhythm – make it a priority to have a weekly walk for self-reflection or a long soaking bath when you recollect on the moments of the week that were sweet. Self-knowledge is the beginning of inner freedom and the basis of inner love."
Inner work is an integral part of Waldorf parenting, homeschooling and teaching, and can take many different forms.
One type of inner work that is done in the Waldorf realm is to work with a verse.
How to Work with a Verse?
Choose a verse or short text to use. Each day, set aside a few minutes in the morning, in the same place to contemplate your verse for a few minutes. You may want to read the verse aloud initially, and then come to know the verse by heart. I like to write out or print the verse on a slip of paper I can keep in a drawer or tape inside the kitchen cabinet.
Rudolf Steiner gave us many verses to work with including The Calendar of the Soul, a series of verses, one for each week of the year.
There has been a mood of excitement, hope and frustration throughout the year of primary campaigns, speeches and debates for the election of the president of the United States. Now there is so much tension, anxiety, fear and uncertainty with the upcoming election day tomorrow.
I try to remind myself to trust, that we are made for these times, yet it is still challenging. This verse from Rudolf Steiner is one I turn to, that you might find strength in as well. His words feel as timely as ever...
The presidential primaries have sparked many a conversation around our dinner table over the past year, especially so, with our own Senator Bernie Sanders running as a candidate, rousing people and stirring up enthusiasm for the political process.
We've been watching the debates, following the caucuses and primaries, talking about what is working and what does not seem to be working with the government and in the world, what is important for the country, as well as who is best able to lead the country, and what is our responsibility in these times of uncertainty and change.
There's the question of what is a patriot today.
And there's Brexit, the United Kingdom's vote to leave the European Union.
You know, basic dinner table conversation.
Do you think that people in times past had such an acute awareness of change in the world? It feels like we are in a time of great intensity and rapid change on a grand scale, on so many levels.
Revolution, change and what one is willing to do to make the world a better place seems a very fitting topic for this Fourth of July weekend.
We're not quite at the topic of the Age of Revolution on our homeschooling journey, although we're close to it, and that is evident in the conversations around here with a teenager and a twenty something.
For the little ones, I thought you might like this little finger play called Ten Little Firecrackers. I recorded it for you.
~ begin by holding up ten fingers and placing one down with each count down, making gestures with the fingers to go along with the verse as in standing in a line, walking very straight...
IN JULY.
BY A. S. WEBBER.
10
Ten little fire crackers
Standing in a line,
One thought he’d light a match
Then——
There were nine.
9
Nine little fire crackers
Walking very straight,
One caught an engine spark
Then——
There were eight.
8
Eight little fire crackers
Trying to spell “LEAVEN,”
One went too near the gas,
Then——
There were seven.
7
Seven little fire crackers
Cutting up tricks,
One played with lighted punk
Then——
There were six.
6 6
Six little fire crackers
Glad they were alive,
One went to have a smoke
Then
There were five.
5
Five little fire crackers
Wishing there were more,
One went to find a friend
Then
There were four.
4
Four little fire crackers
Merry as could be,
One played upon the hearth
Then
There were three.
3
Three little fire crackers
Puzzled what to do,
One started the kitchen fire
Then
There were two.
2
Two little fire crackers
Looking for some fun,
One met a little boy
Then
There was one.
1
One little fire cracker
Sat down to cry,
’Tis such a risky thing
To live
In July."
How are things going around your dinner table this July?
The July moon is known as the Full Buck Moon, for "July is normally the month when the new antlers of buck deer push out of their foreheads in coatings of velvety fur. It was also often called the Full Thunder Moon, for the reason that thunderstorms are most frequent during this time. Another name for this month’s Moon was the Full Hay Moon," according to the The Farmer's Almanac.
I've seen many deer this year, although I haven't been close enough to notice if the antlers are now pushing out. The name Full Thunder Moon makes sense, as this is the time of regular evening thunder storms. The Full Hay Moon is quite apt as well, with haying going on all around us.
July brings the celebration of Independence from England on the 4th, as well as the celebration of the independence of the American spirit with parades, picnics and fireworks.
Along with thunder, July brings dragonflies, fireflies, butterflies, berries and blossoms. Strawberries are ripe and the blueberries are soon to be ripe for picking. Bees and bugs are out in full force.
We like to go out in the evening after the sun has gone down to look up at the stars, and down at the fireflies flickering about. Twinkling above and below.
One of my favorite stories to tell is a traditional Japanese tale that accounts for the origin of fireflies It's called the The Moon Maiden and you'll find it here.
The rhythm of life pulses around us in all of nature.
We experience it it when we look up at the sky and see the constellations of stars return to the same place they were in last year at this time, and the year before and the year before too. We're in the season of the constellation of Taurus the bull right now.
As children, we're reminded of the celestial world with this nursery rhyme:
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high
Like a diamond in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are.
When the blazing sun is gone
When he nothing shines upon.
Then you show your little light
Twinkle, twinkle, all the night.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are.
As humans, we are distinct from plants and animals in that we're able to reflect on rhythm and the patterns of nature and from that bring form to our lives, with rhythmic patterns of living.
With the establishment of healthy home rhythms, we bring meaningful and healthy form to our lives, on a daily, weekly, seasonal and yearly basis. We return to the rhythm of day and night, morning and evening, the rhythm of seven days, four seasons and one year.
The book of Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, from the time of Solomon, that's around 970-930 BC, reflects on rhythm. That's from three thousand years ago. Folk singer Pete Seger made it popular this with this song from 1954, it still gives me the shivers. As a sing along here with five special extra verses he wrote for his children.
To everything, turn, turn, turn There is a season, turn, turn, turn And a time for every purpose under heaven A time for work a time for play A time for night a time for day A time to sleep a time to wake A time for candles on the cake A time to dress a time to eat A time to sit and rest your feet A time to teach a time to learn A time for all to take their turn A time to cry and make a fuss A time to leave and catch the bus A time for quiet a time for talk A time to run a time to walk A time to get a time to give A time to remember a time to forgive A time to hug a time to kiss A time to close your eyes and wish A time for dirt a time for soap A time for tears a time for hope A time for fall a time for spring A time to hear the robins sing To Everything turn, turn, turn There is a season turn, turn, turn And a time to every purpose, under Heaven A time to be born, a time to die A time to plant, a time to reap A time to kill, a time to heal A time to laugh, a time to weep To Everything turn, turn, turn There is a season turn, turn, turn And a time for every purpose, under Heaven A time to build up, a time to break down A time to dance, a time to mourn A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together To Everything turn, turn, turn There is a season turn, turn, turn And a time to every purpose, under Heaven A time of love, a time of hate A time of war, a time of peace A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing To Everything turn, turn, turn There is a season turn, turn, turn And a time for every purpose, under Heaven A time to gain, a time to lose A time to rend, a time to sew A time of love, a time of hate A time for peace, I swear it's not too late To Everything turn, turn, turn There is a season turn, turn, turn And a time for every purpose, under Heaven To Everything turn, turn, turn There is a season turn, turn, turn And a time for every purpose, under Heaven
When my children were little, I began incorporating these rhythmic turns with seasonal food and with seven - the seven days of the week, with meals, activities and tasks of caring for the home. We have a breakfast rhythm in which the same foods appear on the breakfast table on the same day of the week, each week. A weekly rhythm. Before that I ate oats here and there, with no regularity.
"Women have to eat oats or they'll dry up."
I read those words somewhere in a childbirth book during my midwifery days, and it has stayed with me. It's easy to like oats, and I'm glad to know they are full of health benefits.
Friday is the day for oat porridge at breakfast in my home. I serve the oats with cinnamon, maple syrup and fruit. Often with nuts on the side.
This oat day is a big day for me, as I've been avoiding grains for six months now, since I became aware of my sensitivity to gluten. This week I took the plunge after finding organic certified gluten free oats. It's like visiting an old friend.
Celebrating the goodness of oat porridge today: the chewiness, the warmth, the good feeling in the tummy, the long lasting energy, all the benefits they provide!
In my ideal world, I sketch out my meal plan on Wednesday when I give the fridge a quick clear out and wipe down. That gives me time to look in the pantry, go to the farmer’s market and have a sense of what I might like to cook for the following week.
The reality is that it’s now Monday morning, the start of a new week, and the first week of a new month. It’s not a big deal because I have a pretty strong rhythm of meal themes, a basic foundation food for each night of the week. Do we always eat those foods week after week? We don’t. Yet I have the basic ingredients, and I know I can lean back into them if I need to, and at the same time, I have the freedom to cook something completely different if I want to.
I sit down and sketch out my meal plan for this week. Over here I talk about the Anchors of Our Day, with meals as a point in the day we can lean back into, everyday, an anchor that tethers us to a healthy home rhythm.
The changes in our diets have had me simmering over some new general theme for each days of the week. We have several different nutritional and dietary needs: gluten free, vegan and gluten and dairy free. We all began as whole food omnivores with an emphasis on S.O.L.E. food.
As this new path unfolds, it sometimes feels simple and easy to manage, other times it can feel overwhelming with planning and preparation. It does feel great from a health perspective, energizing and nourishing. To try and get a handle on our different and divergent dietary needs, I made a chart of our dietary needs to try and find more common threads, in which each of us feels nourished with one meal.
These past months have been a time of reflection for me with my meal themes. Monday’s Mexican with beans and rice as a base remains a favorite, cheese, sour cream and meat can be options to add or ignore. Tuesday Thai works well. Wednesday’s pasta is out, I’m not keen on using gluten substitutes, they are not so sound nutritionally, and then there’s the concern about rice with arsenic.
My meal themes need a change. This is what I’ve come up with:
Today is Rudolf Steiner's birthday, February 25th, 1861 was the year.
His words:
“Our highest endeavor must be to develop free human beings who are able of themselves to impart purpose and direction to their lives. The need for imagination, a sense of truth, and a feeling of responsibility—these three forces are the very nerve of education. You will not be good teachers if you focus only on what you do and not upon who you are.
