Winter Circle

This is a response to a query on how to bring circle to two active boys, age two and age five. Circle time at home can be hard with a few children and especially with just one child or very young children.

I never did circle time with my children alone at home until first grade. We had a play group that met regularly of children and parents that we did circle with when they were young (3-6) One of my children went to kindergarten and had circle as part of his morning there, five days a week.

Neither of my boys has ever really taken to circle at home, yet my fifteen year old still remembers the verses to some of the circles we did nine years ago, particularly a harvest circle with big galloping movement. He laughs about it now. He also loves language and is an articulate speaker, something I attribute to 1) that's just who he is and 2) his early exposure to beautiful and complex rhythmic language in a playful and fun way.

With the Morning Garden (nursery) children I had in my home, I was just about to give up on circle time and pack it in, when one little child led the call for the "ring around the hosey." I persisted in carrying on with these little nursery circles. They hardly changed through the year with the exception of a few well chosen seasonal pieces. The children seem to love them.

If you want to do circle at home with your children, these are my suggestions: First remind yourself that any new activity with children needs time and space to develop:

1. Anchor it in your day.

2. Do circle or ring time in the same sequence of events every day that you are home together in your daily home routine. This is often Monday through Friday.

This might look like a coming together time after breakfast and dressing and chores or after being outside, after Morning Tea, upon coming in.....

What matters most is when you and your children are likely to be focused and do it every time in the same sequence of events.

So let's imagine that the children have had a good free play and the room is a disaster with blocks strewn everywhere and shells and stones and cloths all over the floor in the room that is most suited to circle. You see the picture?

You might ring a little bell, ever so gently, and look at it as if it is magical, then sing a little song, over and over and over, so softly as you begin to pick up the room with caring and love.

3. Create and maintain a strong rhythm for the children. Rhythm is strength and health for everyone. Eugene Schwartz said that when we are punctual and keep to what we intend to do, the spiritual beings support us.

4. Don't expect regular participation or full engagement for at least three weeks. Some children won’t engage at all but may watch from the periphery. I had one child who watched from the edges.

5. Stand at your same spot on the circle and begin. (do not ask the children to join ~ just do it)

The following first verse worked well for me as a call to circle with the wee little ones with these gestures:

I nod my head, (nod head)
I clap my hands (clap hands)
and then I stamp my feet (give a good stamp or two with each foot)

I reach up high (both arms reach up)
And bend down low (hands to floor)
And then I take my seat (kneel on floor)

::::
(sing) Good Morning to the Sun up in the sky
(hands arms opening to sun gesture)

Good Morning to the birds as they fly on by
(arms out at sides fluttering)

Good Morning to the trees so straight and tall
(arms above head straight and tall, palms together))

Good Morning to the nests where the squirrels do rest
(hands cupped against chest at heart level look down)

Good Morning everyone
(outstretch arms for hug if you like)

::::
(Sit down on bottoms, feet touching together in middle, this works like a wheel, reach hands out to sides and up, touching neighbor if there are enough of you)

(spoken) Each one a petal
Of one great flower
(arms out stretched, sit tall)

That closes by night
(hands reach to toes, pause)

And opens with the light
(hands come up over head and open wide)

::::
(take out your clicker sticks, pointer and tall fingers together click on opposite hand pointer and tall finger held out together and tap fingers against each other)

(sing) Kuru, kuru, kuru kai, ay ay
All the birds are singing rise

Open up your sleepy eyes (rub eyes)
(sung) Morning has come (arms up open)

The night is away (bring arms to sides on floor outstretched )
We rise with the sun (stand up)

And welcome the day

::::
(sung) Rinca ranca rosey ray
Welcome welcome lovely day
(move in a circle sing 2 or 3 times)

::::
(sing) In the winter garden, through the falling snow
Stars are gleaming, streaming, gleaming,
Down to earth below.

::::
In the winter garden, seeds lie warm below
Deep and snug and oh so warm
Covered by the snow

My adaptation of Margaret Meyerkort and Nancy Foster's version in Wynstones Winter edition.

::::
(sing) Ring around the Rosie
A pocket full of posies

Ashes, ashes
We all fall down

The cows are in the meadow eating bred and butter
A tishoo, a tishoo
We all jump up

::::
(sing) Jump! (jump up)
Jump! (jump up)
Jump Jimmy Joe (jump)

Shake your head and nod your head and tap your toe
And you bow to your partner and you jump Jimmy Joe

(do gestures described)

Do this one 2 or 3 times

::::
(sing) Sally go round the sun
Sally go round the moon
Sally go round the chimney pot on a snowy afternoon
Whoooosh!

( go around in a circle then all move in to center on whoosh!)

::::
For this one, take out some silk cloths to cover the children
(Children crouch and are the "dear little plants")

( Sing) Deep in the earth buried deep so deep

A dear little plant lay fast asleep
Sleep little plant so snug and warm
Sleep little plant all winter long
The little plant slept so warm and tight
While King Winter raged with all his might

::::
Do with gestures to the tune of I'm a little teapot:

I'm a little snowman, short and fat
Here is my broomstick, here is my hat
(hand out to side, touch head)

When the sun comes out, I melt away
(Open arms to make sun gesture and melt slowly to ground)

Down, down, down, down
Whoops! I' m a puddle
(on the floor)

::::
( turn to each direction and make big windy whoosh sound with hands cupped around mouth like megaphone)

(sing) Old King Winter came out to play
And said I'm going to make this a very cold day
So he turned to the east ~ Whoooosh!
To the south ~ Whooosh!!
To the West Whooosh!

Then he turned to the North and said that's the best!
For my very good friend is the old North Wind
And when we play, we make a very, very, very cold day
Brrrrrr!

(from Mary Theines Schunemann, Seasons Songs Book)

::::
Sit down and sing this song, make gesture of questioning with hands?

(sing) The North Wind doth blow
And we shall have snow
And what shall poor robin do then?
poor thing!

She'll fly to the barn and keep herself warm
By hiding her head under her wing,
Poor thing.

The North Wind doth blow
And we shall have snow
And what shall poor robin do then?
Poor thing!

She'll fly to the barn and keep herself warm
By hiding her head under her wing,
Poor thing!

The North Wind doth blow
And we shall have snow
And what shall the children do then?
Poor things!

They'll sled and they'll romp
They'll move to keep warm
And play lots of games in a ring.
Poor things!

::::
Finger play: spoken rhythmically

Five little snowmen
On a winter's day

The first one said,
"Wake up, let's have a play.

The second one said,
"Let's stomp upon the ground."

The third one said,
"Let's roll all around."

The fourth one said,
"Let's run, run, run."

The fifth one said,
"Oh dear, here is the sun"

"Oh dear!" cried the snowmen,
As they looked toward the sky.

And the five melting snowmen
Waved a fond good-bye

Goodbye dear snowmen!

::::
(Sit quietly with hands folded in lap speak in even quieting voice)

An owl sat alone
On the branch of a tree

And he was as quiet
As quiet could be

(Make rings with thumb and pointer, hold to eyes, turn head from one side to other)

It was night and his eyes
were round like this

He looked around
Not a thing did he miss
(creep slowly and gently from hand up child's arm)

Some brownies crept up
On the branch of a tree

And they were as quiet
As quiet could be

(make flapping gesture with arms)
Said the wise old owl
To-whooo! To-whooo!

Up jumped the brownies
And away they all flew

(sit quietly, put hands in lap )

An owl sat alone
On the branch of a tree

And he was as quiet
As quiet could be

(pause)

(speak)

On Mother Earth I stand upright
The sun above by day gives light
The moon and stars by night

::::
Tip toe tip toe
That's the way the fairies go

Stomp stomp stomp stomp
That's the way the giants stomp
(go tip toeing and stomping off to your next adventure)

this verse is a great transition tool too in lots of situations that require moving the child from one place/situation to another, try it and see!

Hope this is helpful for you. For me it is a regular moment in the day to bring songs and verse that will be echoed in play and work through the day. It really takes adult rhythm and focus to carry it.

Read on for more at Circle Time :: Basic Elements of Living with Children

Enjoy and blessings on you and yours!

Nature Table for January

Birthday Child!

Eight kisses when he wakes,

Eight candles on his cake

For Duncan with his heart of gold

Today he is eight years old!

Yarn Along

Today, I'm joining Ginny over at Small Things in her Yarn Along.

I'll confess that I am more of a reader than a knitter. Sleep comes easily for me with a few pages of fiction each night. Knitting is something I am striving to bring into my daily life. The challenge is finding a regular time for it and carrying it with me when I go to places where I can sit and knit.

I am loving Alice Hoffman's book, The Probable Future, which knits together three living generations of women and their maternal ancestors in a small New England town with  healing and understanding. Our annual family Christmas chapter book is coming to a close; it's Mary's Little Donkey by Gunhild Sehlin, a sweet story of Mary and Joseph's journey to Bethlehem and Egypt told from the perspective of the donkey.

My knitting project is a little robe for a small wooden fellow.

Gung Hay Fat Choy!

this post is from my Celebrate the Rhythm of Life Monthly program packets sampler 

"Gung Hay Fat Choy!"

In China, every girl and boy 

Celebrates the New Year

in a very special way -

With fireworks and dragons

colored red and gold - 

They welcome in the new year

and chase away the old! 

~ Helen H. Moore

::

Hear a Gung Hay Fat Choy song here

Dear Readers,

A warm welcome to the February blog for Celebrate the Rhythm of Life!

Thank you for coming by to have a look. I'd love your frank feedback on what you love, what is missing and what you can do without.

I am so deeply touched by all the beautiful and kind words in your e-mails. I had no idea if anyone was reading my blog and finding any value in it. It feels so good to read all your notes and have a little picture of the individuals out there, all of connected by this cold, electronic machine, yet feeling warmth streaming through from all around the world. Thank you all.

This is a work in progress. I will be adding things as they days go by and including tutorials, so check in here on this page to see what is new. I have photos and tutorials and more on every topic coming in the next fews days. The sections on toddlers, handcrafts for children, handwork for mom and nature activities are coming in the next few days. Keep looking.

In future months, the plan is to have it all laid out for the release before the first of the month.

February begins with Brigid's Day. Brigid is a fascinating historical personage for she began as a powerful fire goddess and with the advent of Christ endured and was transformed into a Christian Saint as well as to become the Patroness Saint of Ireland. The old met the new and transformed yet with integrity, Brigid maintained her power. It is said she has a mantle much like that of Mother Mary.

Candlemas, as a season in the pagan and Christian calendar comes to an end officially on February 2nd, then heralds in Chinese New Year on the 3rd, 2011 is the Year of the Rabbit with fifteen days of celebration following the new moon until the full moon. And then there is Valentine's Day. What a lot to celebrate!

Here, in Vermont, we are blanketed with snow and enjoying more snow. If you are under snow, have you made a snowman yet? Built a snow fort? A snow lantern? Made an ice window or ice lantern? Been sledding or ice skating? Warm woolen blankets, lots of layers and a thermos of warm cocoa or tea can make the snow a pleasant experience for all ages. When do the snowdrop flowers emerge where you live?

Choose what to celebrate with care. Remember that less is more and too much of a good thing is not a good thing, especially with young children. One relaxed activity can bring heaps of fun. I have all these examples because I have had a child of my own in early childhood for the past fifteen years and have had lots of time to celebrate and refrain over those years with my children and with families and children of The Children's Garden, my nursery program. I'm bringing you pictures of possibilities to peek at, forget about and then find your own way into that which speaks to you.

One fond memory is of a Valentine's tea party for four, five and six year old boys and girls. We ate cupcakes with fluffy frosting, drank tea from pretty china cups on a table set with a pretty cloth and flowers and made heart shaped origami. I like to make heart shaped scones on Valentine's Day because they are simple and delicious and lovely to behold. Some years we might open a jar of homemade strawberry jam from last summer for this day.

Whatever you do, keep it simple and make room for the breathing and fun. If you find yourself breathing fast, dropping into bed at nigh exhausted or holding your breath during the day, rethink your day and remember children need 1) sleep, 2) food, 3) play and 4) fresh air alongside a warm, loving adult to thrive. That's all they need.

If you have time to do the laundry, prepare the meals, do the dishes, clean up after, sleep adequately and go outside everyday and still have time leftover, then take up the celebrations. Otherwise, just light a candle with meals and celebrate being together, being sane and having quiet moments.

The Rhythm in this guide is something I have used that works for me. It is meant to be a little snapshot of one way of doing it, among many possibilities. I hope it will inspire you to find your way into a rhythm that works for you and your family.

I will continue to post throughout the month in this column. Please feel free to send me your questions and comments at: Monthlyguides@yahoo.com


Warmly,
Lisa

Rhythm of the Year

Here's my first sketch of a Wheel of the Year, the original copy; it's a bit dry and formal looking. It's a version of the cycle of the year that I made in 1998 when Angus was a wee lad.

I photocopied it in parchment paper and kept it on my fridge for years so I could add notes to the original. Your looking at a fresh copy for I made copies to share as handouts in classes I taught. Now the original has frayed edges and tears.

Looking at the year as a wheel helps me imagine the year as a turning wheel and develop a feel for the mood of the year through the seasons.

We were living on the equator when I made it and I was really wrestling with my relationship to the rhythm of the year. The presence of the wheel helped me see the year in a larger context.

Snowmen finger play

Five little snowmen


On a winter's day

The first one said,
"Wake up, let's have a play."


The second one said,
"Let's stomp on the ground."


The third one said,
"Let's roll all around."


The fourth one said,
"Let's run, run, run."


The fifth one said,
"I'm afraid I feel the sun"


"Oh dear!" cried the snowmen,


As they looked toward the sky.


And the five melting snowmen


Waved a fond good-bye

Goodbye dear snowmen!

Rudolf Steiner and the Mood of Christmas

In working on a post for Epiphany, with a little circle play and a song and a cake, I came across this lecture given by Rudolf Steiner on the mood of Christmas. The Festival of Christmas, according to Steiner, is one of the greatest festivals of the year that humaity can celebrate. Steiner asks, in this lecture, " does what is happening in the streets correspond with what is meant to flow through the hearts and souls of man?" in referring to the Christmas celebration.

This was written in 1919, nearly one hunderd years ago, yet it is so precise for today, for me. Steiner leaves his audience with reassure that, " humanity can once again experience the depth and greatness of the impulse which belongs to this festival. "

This is an excerpt from that lecture given on the 22nd of December 1910, in Berlin:

"What has become often a mere festival of gifts cannot be said to have the same meaning as what the Christmas festival meant to people for many centuries in the past. Through the celebration of this festival the souls used to blossom forth with hope-filled joy, with hope-borne certainty, and with the awareness of belonging to a spiritual Being, Who descended from Spiritual heights, and united Himself with the earth, so that every human soul of good will may share in His powers. Indeed, for many centuries the celebration of this festival awakened in the souls of men the consciousness that the individual human soul can feel firmly supported by the spiritual power just described, and that all men of good will can find themselves gathered together in the service of this spiritual power. Thereby they can also find together the right ways of life on earth, so that they can mean humanly as much as possible to one another, so that they can love each other as human beings on earth as much as possible.

Suppose we find it appropriate to let the following comparison work on our souls: What has the Christmas festival been for many centuries, and what should it become in the future? To this end, let us compare, on the one hand, the mood which social custom creates nowadays in certain parts of the world around us, with the mood that once permeated the Christmas festival. On the other hand, let us compare this mood of the present time with what can come about in the soul as a renewal of this festival, made as it were timeless, through Spiritual Science."

To read more, click here.




I'd love to hear your thoughts on this lecture and Christmas.




Bkessings.

Quieting and Excitement

It's been a week of quieting and excitement. It began on Sunday with a wrapping up of four weeks of Inner Advent work with Lynn Jericho's group. We've been looking at truth, beauty and goodness in our thinking, feeling and willing and laying it out on a mandala for the year. So much swirling in the mysterious in this past year and so much constellating for the new year. I love doing this work. This year's Inner Advent work was better than last for the group work deepens with time.

Monday we went to the Advent Spiral at the school. It was so beautiful. When I watch my children walk, I always feel tears well in my eyes, every time over the years. It was outdoors, in the dark of night, in the cold, dark of night yet warmth permeated from within. One of the songs that we sang is Now I Walk in Beauty which has been with me all week. Click here to hear it.

The next day was the last day here for a dear little fellow who has been in my program for three years, nearly since he was born, and is now moving on to be with the big kids. I've watched him grow and shared in the joys each new development brings with his lovely and loving family. He's been the little brother to my children. I'm going to miss him. Alot. And his mom and dad.

Now, on vacation, yet working on my new project. Moving towards Christmas. I cannot find the book Mary's Little Donkey this year and we are missing it hugely. We'll  cut down our tree today and let it rest overnight before we start decorating it tomorrow. Tomorrow evening we'll go to a service.

I keep worrying about Christmas morning, have I done enough?  How do we make the Twelve Days of Christmas the focus rather then Christmas morning? What about the anticipation? Santa is pretty regular here,  in what he brings, striped jammies from the elves, matching ones for the children, slippers if needed, a book and a game or toy. He fills the stockings with little treats, a new toothbrush. I make something for each child for Christmas Day. Yet there is so much energy rising, especially for my little one.

We've been singing Christmas songs, our favorites this year seem to be Good King Wenceslas, People Look East, Children Go Where I Send Thee, here for a humorous recording of it, The Old Man in the Woods. We're learning The Boar's Head Carol, all from Mary Thienes~Schnumann's The Christmas Star, here. Her books have really helped me over the years to sing more and especially now when I am at home and not in a school community on a daily basis to sing with others.

We'll be moving on to more songs about the Three Kings and Epiphany. I'm working on a Babouschka Circle this year for she is beloved by our family ever since my children were given the Tomie de Paolo books.

This week we baked gingerbread men. We'll be baking for others for Christmas week and we have a knitting and sewing gift project going on. My second grader is making potholders for gifts this year. I'd love to host a cookie exchange if I can pull it together. And I'd love to go caroling.

I am looking forward to another year of The Inner Christmas with Lynn Jericho. Lynn sends out an e-mail message each day with an inspiration to contemplate each night. I need to dig out my Inner Christmas Guide. I think it's with Mary's Little Donkey. I put it in a red binder last year with Christmas things.

This Inner Christmas is Lynn's gift to the world. It's free. The guide too. Click here to sign up and enjoy. I find that work with Lynn is so satisfying in such a gentle way. It helps me expand my view of things and helps me digest events of my life in a very nourishing way. It also inspires me to do new things and take risks. I am so grateful for this gift. Thanks Lynn!

A Very Merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate!

Lisa

The Gift of Light

The gift of light I thankfully hold

And pass to my neighbor its shining gold

That everyone may feel its glow,

    Receiving and giving may love and grow.

I pass this gift of light to you Dear Jen at Ancient Hearth. Thank you for the light and warmth you bring to the world. I am grateful for your presence in my life.

Pass the gift of light  to a cyber neighbor who lights your world until the world is aglow with a circle of light.


This verse can be used with children passing the light around a circle.


Pass the light on and let's see how broad a circle it can make.

Snow, snow, snow!

From heaven falls the snow.

The children now have lots of fun

It's snowing, snowing on and on.

Snow, snow, snow!

Hey-o!  hey-o!  hey-o!

Snow, snow, snow!

Hey-o!  hey-o!  hey-o!

 From The Snow Hayoh! in Gesture Games for Autumn and Winter from Wilma Ellersiek, 

translated by Lyn and Kundry Wilwerth

Marsha Johnson's Reminder

The Issue of Toys, Children, and Materialism

By Mrs. M, also known as Marsha Johnson, December 2004
~ re-printed with permission

Shopping bags and baskets full, parents and family friends arriving with parcels, long store lines, and big dollar prices………birthdays, holidays, other occasions both secular and religious, family rooms, play rooms, bedrooms, living rooms, filled with play items, bright colors, plastics, woods, cloth, books, and more…………is there room for the child?  Where is the child?  In late fall, these questions start to present themselves to even the most unconscious person as we strive to find the ‘perfect’ addition to an entire house filled with personal items…….as well as strive to come up with a wish list for ourselves.  This year, I notice the most advertised item is a S’more cooker!  If only we could just package the happy feelings that we experience when gathered around a cozy campfire, in the woods, while toasting food on a stick!  This is what the manufacturer knows will sell his silly little invention:  he is selling memories.

Burdened with possessions from before birth, we stumble along this treacherous pathway at holidays, driven by commercial interests, lists of best sellers (if other people bought it, it must be good), and short lived desires stimulated by visual, auditory, and olfactory images.  Artistic and historical pictures of holidays always include the scene where wrappings are torn off and cries of joy fill the room as each receives exactly the right gift.  Does this sound familiar to you?

I distinctly recall a holiday when our oldest son was two years old, and in his stocking, he discovered a tiny metal truck and a tiny yellow metal bulldozer.  At that point, his holiday was complete and he was not interested in any other gaily wrapped packages or presents except one large cardboard box left over from some item that he played with for weeks.  Did this wake us up a bit?  Well, frankly, not enough.  Our family cultural background, our own perceptions of the ‘ideal’ holiday scene, and an inability to resist commercial pressures and peer pressures, drove us on the mad buying road for quite a few years to come.

Then, when studying anthroposophy, Waldorf education, and in teacher training, I began to perceive another more sinister aspect to the whole scenario.  Facing the conscious human being on this planet are two primary foes: beautiful evil Lucifer, who tempts us with his garden of wickedness and false promises of divine status, and ugly, hard Ahriman, who pulls at our material and commercial roots with sober glee.  We tread this delicate path each moment, and it seems that their influence increases geometrically at major holiday times.  We smother our children under a plethora of physical goods!  Asthma is rising rapidly in our world and it is not wonder that we cannot breathe freely under the weight of our possessions.

Reading through a stack of books on child development, from ones generated out of Waldorf education to just about every other approach, there is indeed a common theme.  Children should be surrounded by a few multi-purpose, open-ended items that encourage imaginative play, social interaction, and healthy bodily movement.  Young children need to be interactive with the physical world in a direct sense, stomach or back to the earth, although a blanket, skin, or floor may lie between.  The urge to rise must be allowed to flourish independently in the infant human being, and nearly all children do indeed push themselves away from the horizontal and ascend to a vertical stance.  The miracles of scooting, crawling, standing, cruising, and walking need no artificial assisters such as walkers, jumpers, or swings. 

Nearly all of the most popular toy items do not meet the 3 basic criteria listed above:  hard plastic items are too formed to be open-ended, they must adhere to their pre-conceived shape and form.  They feel dead to the touch and are non responsive to the mood of the child.  You can see this disdain in the actions of the children who play with plastic items as they throw them around rooms, kick them, leave them outside in the yard, litter them everywhere and have trouble cleaning them up.  Parents literally have garbage can sized containers into which all these plastic goodies are shoveled and rarely sorted.  Landfills are overwhelmed with plastic debris and it requires thousands of years to decompose.  Plastic also use valuable petroleum resources and is filled with toxins for the most part.  Does this discourage us?  I wonder. Stroll without your child down a toy store items and simply look for plastic.  It is unavoidable.

Open ended items are simple, often made of natural materials such as wool, wood, metal, or cloth.  Undefined or lightly defined toys allow children to use them in a multitude of ways.  A new playmate brings new ideas for logs, scarves, blocks, and playhouses.  Endless games with ropes, sticks, and simple tools will result during afternoons with friends.  Finding toys that work with social settings as well as all-alone times is a key factor for parents. Creating and combining personal play areas of family play areas is important and requires some consideration.  Clearly, adults need space for adult activities and babies need to be protected from dangerous items.  It might be helpful to sit down and think over your home, your room assignments, notice where your family gathers, do children actually play in the bedroom?  Or do they bring all their play items into the kitchen, the living room, or family room, where the parents tend to be? 

Social interactions can begin for children at about age 3 or 4, when they can start to actually ‘play with’ another child instead of ‘play near’ someone else.  The child in the 3rd year begins to use the word “I” to designate self, and this is a critical consciousness step in development.  When we use the word “I”, we experience an inner feeling of our free selves, our free will, our own being, our souls and spirits.  We are unique and can express this wonderful word that only we can use for ourselves (no-one else can call us I).  Before this time, parents notice that children are exploring their surroundings with interest, imitating the actions of their parents or caregivers, perhaps using the broom to sweep the floor.  Babies under 1 year are observers and listeners as they move their limbs and learn to manipulate their small physical bodies in that all encompassing drive to rise.  Their social encounters are based on human interactions, facial expressions, and echoing or mimicking what they see.  Have you ever been about a baby about 9 months old who literally stares at your face until you make eye contact?  Serious hopeful expression transforms into a beautiful body-wide smile!  What a wonderful feeling!

Body movement is critical to healthy brain development and according to every study in the world, video and computer activities are contributing to an unprecedented decline in child physical heath.  Running, skipping, dancing, moving, climbing, chasing, and hopping are on the decline!  Teachers see children in the grades who have great challenges with basic balance skills such as walking a straight line.  What to do?  Parents are often exhausted in their own work, and insert the video into the machine to escape into solitude for 90 minutes while the child is occupied.  Our families are often so isolated from one another that there is no respite or very little.  I know a child who is 18 months old who can turn on tv and video player, insert and remove the movie, and operate the remote control. 

Relatives of families who are trying to find a different path often fall into a situation where they create conflict with gifts of commercial plastic or media items.  The common culture is such that refusing such gifts often induces arguments and antipathy.  Children of these families are sometimes then over-exposed to these influences during visits or vacations, when grandparents can follow their own beliefs and stuff children with nitrite laced hot dogs and movies.  Has this happened to you?  It can be a very difficult emotional experience for the adult children of baby boomer generation grandparents, born in the 40s and 50s, which was also the birth of the plastic toy industry.  I recall wishing for the Mr. Potato Head Toy that came with nose, ears, mouth, etc. that were to be pushing into a real potato.  The innocent (?) beginnings of a world wide lifelong addition to the acquisition of things that have very little significant purpose or meaning.  And most of us do not even realize that we have been registered in this senseless buying club for life.

Families who are seeking a different way of providing toy items and play spaces for their children must be willing to undergo some conflicted feelings and pressures.  In addition, parents must be able to agree to adopting a new approach and support one another:  it is not uncommon to find one parent wishing to be dedicated to a less materialistic lifestyle while the other one is sneaking the Gameboy into the stocking. 

PLAY ITEMS CHECKLIST AND ADVICE:

If you are not a parent yet, good, you can skip the rest of the this paragraph and go on to the section for specific recommendations for children by ages.  If you have children already, then you must make some tough decisions.  Here is one method that works well and it gentle in its approach.  If you follow this advice, you will find that in about 1 year, your home will be free of all commercial/materialistic toy burdens, you will feel lighter and more in tune with nature and the seasons, and your family time will be enhanced and enjoyable with the need to spend hours organizing and cleaning up after your children and yourself.

First, have a private discussion with spouse and come to agreement.  This is critical and this program will not work unless this has been completed.  Then examine your home and its contents.  Go into your child’s room and count how many items are in that space.  Include clothing, shoes, and coats.  Count aloud and be amazed.  How can one being be surrounded by so many physical things?  Notice how many images or hanging items are on the walls, how many things hang in windows, etc.  Do the same activity with your play room or family room where toys are kept.  Look into the movie cupboard and notice how many boxes or cases.  Count how many TVs are in your home.  How many music CDs?  Where are these items kept? Peek into the attic, the basement, the garage, the kitchen cupboards, the laundry room, the sheet storage, the towel closet, obtain a good impression of how many items there in your home.

Take a break and have a cup of tea.  In a day or two, send the children over to play at a friend’s home.  Strengthen yourself with prayer and go into your play spaces and remove about one third of the toys not on the list below.  Put into large black storage bags and drive over to someone else’s home or garage.  (No temptation to retrieve and after 3 months, you can given them to charity).  Include books, posters, stuff, even expensive stuff.  This first foray is the hardest and you can select items that you know your child rarely plays with.  Try to include mostly plastic junky items that will never be missed.  Include stuffed animals that are sitting, lonely, and plastic dolls that lie heaped in the corner.  Sentimental items like grandma’s doll clothes should be kept, there is love in the stitches that cannot be replaced.

If you are really strong and on a roll, you can do this for other areas of the home and include the clothing drawers:  children do NOT need walk-in closets, this accumulation of 24 pairs of shoes is both confusing and ridiculous and I am old enough to remember when children under 3 wore white baby shoes (1 pair) which we polished.  Do your kitchen (who need 4 tablespoon measurers?) and your own closet.  Donate your items to charities and store if you must.

If children notice something is gone, if under six, distract them with a play idea, or tell a little story about a bunny who had so many things she couldn’t sleep in her cozy bunny hole.  Leave it at that if possible.  Children six and older may need to know that the family is making some changes that are healthy for everyone and that is probably enough.  If you try this on older children, you will need their cooperation. 

In about three months, do this again.  In the meantime, begin adding to the store of items listed below.  Slowly replace various toys with substitutes that meet the three criteria of being open-ended, socially healthy, and encourage body movement.  If you continue this pathway for a year, that will give your four opportunities to reduce, diminish, refocus, alter, redefine, and re-direct your child’s play environment, sleep environment, and living environment.

In your organization, create specific areas of particular play items:  outdoors for certain pursuits, an art space with paints, crayons, brushes, pastels, paper, and more, a reading/book area to share, and a game playing space.  These spaces can share your dining room or family room.  Bedrooms are for sleeping and keeping clothing in, maybe 1 special stuffed animal friend, or 1 doll cradle.  When a child is sent to clean their room, it means change the sheets, sweep the floor, wash the window, and take care of shoes and clothing.  How many times do we confuse cleaning with picking up?

MUST DO:

1)   Remove all TVs from home if possible with young children and middle aged children and teenagers.  You will not regret this decision.

2)   If not possible, keep one and put in closet that locks or some space inaccessible to family members without a lot of work.

3)  Obviously same with all video equipment….dvd players

4)   Remove all computer games from computer and put cds in a box and hide them in a closet.
Computers are for ‘working’, writing, communicating.  If you play games, do it only after kids are in bed.

5)  Ask or persuade friends and family to switch from giving more toys and clothes to a) buying items you request, b) gift certificates to particular catalogs (Magic Cabin, Chinaberry Books), or c) put the money they would have spent into certificates of deposit for future educational expense (tuition is a big issue for the future) or d) be willing to substitute time together for physical items.  Come over for dinner and stay for a games night, go out for a walk in a bird reserve, take a trip to the beach, cook a family recipe together……beg, plead, and insist.  They will adopt your methods, slowly. 

6)  If child receives an unexpected objectionable item, be gracious and enjoy it for a while, then ‘disappear’ it magically.  Time is a great healer.

7)  Frequently visit other families who are like minded to encourage yourself and find support.  You will find that all the children in the neighborhood will want to hang out at your house!  Bring them in and teach their parents.

8)  Take the money you save and enjoy a fantastic family camping trip or vacation.  You will literally save thousands and thousands of dollars over the 18 years of your child’s life.

9) Examine wardrobes and put together fourteen outfits for your children, enough for 2 weeks without laundry, for each season, and donate the rest.  Buy good quality wool, cotton, and natural fiber clothes that will last through several children, practice the fine art of hand me downs, and gather a group of other families to have a twice a year ‘share’ time where you all bring extra clothes and parcel them out.  You will be shocked at how this is so very freeing although you  will spend a bit more time doing laundry on your new schedule. 

10)  Begin a rhythm in your household that includes all members in a reasonable cycle of chores that includes and shares out cooking, cleaning, washing, and gardening.  Spend your time together with purpose as opposed to trying to get a few chores ‘done’ while everyone else sits in front of a screen.  Laundry day can be a good social time to visit over sock matching, laundry line hanging, and there is nothing that can beat (Sorry commercial artificial laundry scent manufacturers) the smell of wind-dried sheets on summer days. Avoid using machines for your household work, study up on how to make your own healthy cleaners, and treasure old towels for wonderfully soft rags.  Step away from silly products that promise to somehow make your life easier that actually are simply substitutes for old fashioned, tried and true methods.  

11)  Get together with a couple other families and form a study group to enjoy dinner together once a month and talk about parenting, read new books, enjoy community, and share ideas. Insist that gift giving occasions be primarily social events, outdoor adventures, nature immersed, and intentionally diminish or reduce the time of ‘gifting’ in your life.  Try an ‘exchange’ habit, instead, or take a class and learn how to make something useful, for example, learn to carve wooden spoons and give these as gifts.  Simple and very helpful and useful.  Do not overdo it and give dozens!  Avoid the consumption addiction in all respects.

 PLAY ITEMS FOR PARTICULAR AGES LIST:

INFANTS UNDER 1 YEAR: (Secret!  Children under 1 year old do not need ANY toys!  None at all.  They need humans and something to suck and chew on, like their fingers and toes. But if you must….)

            Wooden chew toy/rattle (1)

            Soft ball (size of an adult fist)

            2-3 silks to play peek a boo

            1 soft cottony type stuffed thing to chew on, can be animal or shape

            A special snuggly blanket for bed time

            A nature table to observe

1YEAR TO 3 YEARS OLD:

            The above items plus……..

            A set of wooden blocks (can be made by hand, or tree limbs that are smooth and splinter free, cut into rounds and sanded)

            1 soft doll, no features, stuffed with wool, with doll cradle and blanket

            Several soft balls

            Baskets of smooth sticks, shells, nuts in the shell, stones

            Stacking toys (there are wooden ones that are nice)

            Small truck or car

            Basket of silks, six or eight, in large squares for playing and dress up

            3 stick crayons in red, yellow, blue and some sturdy paper for coloring

            6 small board books, classics

            1 nice picture on the wall

            1 nice hanging hand made mobile

4 YEARS TO 7 YEARS

            Same as above

            Plus dress up capes and crowns

            Stick horse is nice, jump rope

            Play areas for pretend kitchen, pretend laundry area

            Digging tools for the garden, seeds

            Board games (2-3 at one time)

            Crayons in eight colors

            Water color paints in 3 colors (red, yellow, blue)

            Beeswax for modeling, sewing kit with big needle

            Playstands for creating homes, forts, pirate ships

            Simply music instruments are nice: rattles, bells

            Outdoor riding toys are enjoyed

            Wagons, swings, ropes, small logs outside

            1 doll with legs and arms, clothes for the doll

            Small animals for playing, wooden shapes are nice

            Often a small playhouse with furniture, all wood

            Or a barn with horses, stalls, fences, etc. of wood

            No more than 2 dozen books on shelf for a few months

            Candle next to bed for lighting and night time song and story

8 YEARS TO AGE 12

            Cards, dice

            Board games for the age: checkers, chess, cribbage

            Collectables (big age for starting collections)

            Kits for building, tool sets that are real tools

            Wood carving with supervision

            Sewing kits

            Knitting kits, wool, crochet sets and patterns

            More paints, include pastels, chalk

            Blackboard is nice for wall with chalk

            Sport equipment as your family enjoys

            Bike

            Treasure box for rock collection

            Often a more complex doll

            Roller Skates, or blades

            Bird watching kits, books

            Excursions:  Take them places!

            Books on a shelf, family books, carefully selected for content

            Binoculars, telescope, microscope

            Magnifying glasses

            Items that your child really desires and will take care of………

This is a only a partial list and I am sure more can be added as you think of your family and their needs.  As time passes, the children will become more independent and the parental guidance loosens quite a bit.  If we can help our children perceive that we can escape from the commercial/material treadmill that keeps so many sad captive people enslaved to both earning the money to purchase items and time sacrificed to maintain them, we are doing a good deed for the world and the future.  I welcome your responses.

Marsha Johnson           

Marsha Johnson has an excellent yahoo group for Waldorf Homeschoolers. You can find it here.